Few things feel as flat and dystopian as calling the Oncology department of a hospital and navigating the automated menu:

For skin and blood cancer, press 1.

For digestive cancers, including bowel, colon and rectal, press 2.

Brain cancer, 3.

Etc. etc.Imagine being on the other side of that line, patiently waiting for your afflicted body section ( Read more... )

I walked past a group of (likely) stoned youth in a car this evening. They were parked on a side street smoking and hanging out, unbeknownst to me. I was walking my dog and trying to coerce him into taking a shit by speaking baby talk about how he should "make a poo poo ( Read more... )

Using a laptop while on the shitter = craptop.

Imagine that. The 2015 Lenovo Craptop.

Years of psychotherapy, prescription drugs, friendship, and familial support...none of it compares to the power of a drink.

At 34 years old, I have:

• completely dug out of $30k+ in credit card debt
• gotten married to the woman I want to be with forever
• progressed to director level in a global ad agency in Manhattan
• purchased a car that's almost 1/2 paid off within the first year
• just maxed out my 401k contributions

I was sitting at my desk feeling hung over from the last of the work-related holiday parties last night, and I suddenly feel nauseous. I grabbed my water cup (just in case) and headed for the bathroom. On the way, I'm thinking "oh man, it's never that merciful. I probably won't be able to puke". Well, I got into the bathroom and headed to the last ( Read more... )

Dread is a funny thing. You can't will it onto yourself, and no amount of reason seems to work to get it off of you. It creeps in, sitting in your stomach and eroding your intestines as long as it sees fit. It also has the uncanny ability to snatch away happy thoughts as soon as they happen, crashing you right back to reality. Focus! You have ( Read more... )

It sucks to not know what you love to do with yourself. I spend so much time running around "getting things done", I don't really know what I like to do.

When something comes up that I really want to do, it blows to watch it all fall apart.

Mark the calendar...March 15, 2013. After having credit card debt hanging over my head for 7 years, and sinking deeper into it than I ever thought I would, today is the day that I can say I'm out. I have paid back all of the credit card debt I owed, finished paying off my student loan obligations, and once I pay Julie back the money I owe her, I ( Read more... )

Scared to death. I hope I have the strength to do this without freaking out. The procedure isn't the issue, it's being put out that scares me. I really hope I don't lose my nerve.