Holiday From Real - Part I
Title: Holiday From Real
Author: gluckspirat
Artist: loverstar
Fandom: CW RPF
Genre: Slash, AU.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The following story is fiction and it never happened. I don't know nor own the characters.
Word count: 39,975
Summary: Jared's life finally seems to be on track: he's living with his friend Chad, studying what he loves, and now that he's working for his mother, he can afford both things. Even the introduction of Jensen Ackles to the picture doesn't appear to shake things up much - he's charming and hot and funny, and Jared feels an instant attraction, but it's just another crush on a straight guy and Jared's positive he'll get over it. That is, until Jensen starts flirting back and sending Jared mixed signs - which would be great, really, if it wasn't for the tiny little fact that Jensen's getting married, and that he's chosen Jared's mom's catering business to serve at his wedding.
If young Jared Padalecki was ever given the chance to choose his dream job, attending to the front of his mother's catering service shop wouldn't probably be it.
Sure, it's an easy thing to do, and the money is enough to help him cover half the rent of the apartment he shares with Chad and all the basic stuff to pull him through the month. But working behind a desk for the entire day isn't exactly his idea of appealing - even less when it means dealing with annoyingly demanding 16-year-old's, stressed out business men, or sickeningly sweet couples set to rub in his face something he'll never have.
Marriage. Jared just doesn't want to get married. It's not a big deal, really. His mother has always insisted it's just a phase, that maybe when he meets the right person he'll change his mind. But what won't change, however, is the fact that if he ever did choose to have a wedding, it'd be nothing but a symbolic ceremony. It's either that or going to another state where same-sex marriage is legal and recognized.
He thinks maybe that's why his mom insisted so much on him to take this job when Louisa, their previous secretary, had to ask for a few months off to take care of her newborn kid. Jared doesn't blame her for wanting what he's sure every mother wishes for their children: a wedding and grand kids and the whole package that comes with being straight, and on some occasions, he even dreams of being different just to make her happy.
But it isn't up to him to decide, and in the end, it doesn't really matter because, again, Jared doesn't want to get married.
Despite all this, if Jared squints really hard, he finds that the job has its good side. Like the fact he has his own computer at the front desk, and enough free time to use it to catch up on his homework - or for recreational purposes.
That's exactly what he's doing that day when he hears the door open, and a tall man sporting a black suit walks in. Well, tall if Jared tries to analyze it from a normal person's point of view and not his own freakishly tall 6'4".
"Hello," the man says walking up to him and placing both hands on top of the desk. Jared feels his breath get caught as he meets the other's eyes, green and captivating and framed by the longest set of eyelashes he's ever seen on a guy.
"Um, hi. Hello." Jared manages to choke out.
The man offers him a gentle smile. "I, uh, called last week and was told to come by today to pick up some lists and menus to go over. I talked to a woman - Louise or something, but clearly... you're not her," he finishes with a chuckle.
"No, I'm not," Jared answers, returning the smile and trying to ignore the way the man's deep and manly voice makes his heart speed. "I'm Jared, I'm covering up for her. But she did leave some papers here for you, assuming you're, uh," he leans down to grab a stack of papers and squints at the name written in messy handwriting across the envelope, "Jensen Ackles?"
"Yep, that's me."
Jared hands the papers over to him, all the while smiling internally at the image he'd pictured of the man when Louisa had given him the how-things-work talk and had left the menus in the lower shelf of the desk. It's just - Jensen isn't your every day name. Jared pictured him to be an old man perhaps, a farmer even. An old farmer.
He suddenly realizes he hasn't let go of the papers, and that he's smiling to himself like a complete lunatic, which is making Jensen look at him with raised eyebrows.
Jared draws his hand back quickly.
"Is the food in here that amusing?" Jensen asks with a lopsided smile, tone showing him to be a bit unsure of whether he's allowed in to Jared's private joke.
"I just - I thought you'd be older," Jared blurts out, eyes widening instantly at his words. "Not that, um... not that your name is a name for old people, I just. In fact, you look young. Not too young, you're not a kid, obviously. Just a guy. A regular guy." He makes a pause, his cheeks burning red from his own embarrassment and the amused smile on Jensen's face. "I have no filter."
Jensen throws his head back in a laugh, leaving Jared to admire the perfect lines of his neck and jaw, covered in the faintest hint of stubble.
"Yeah, I see that," Jensen says. He places his forearms on top of the desk and leans forward slightly, having to look up at Jared standing on the other side. "So, I don't look too old nor too young. I'll take that as a compliment," he adds with a small grin.
"You should. I mean, if - if you wanted to." Jared looks down at his feet because, at this point, he's not sure he can embarrass himself any further, and his face can't get any redder.
Probably noticing his discomfort and taking it the wrong way, Jensen smiles at him one last time and straightens up. "Goodbye, Jared. Thanks for the papers," he says, and walks out.
Jared looks up from his shoes once he's sure the door has closed behind the other man, and only then he allows himself to relax and let out a sigh.
Another reason why he'll never get married: his total and complete lack of abilities to have a normal conversation with someone he likes. And the fact that he instantly crushes on charming guys like Jensen.
Great, now he's going to be thinking about green eyes and long eyelashes for the rest of the week.
The minute Jensen walks through the door, he feels a strange churning on his stomach as if something huge and life-changing had just happened.
Even as he gets into his car with his girlfriend - fiancee, he reminds himself - next to him on the passenger seat, his mind keeps going back to that kid behind the desk, with that floppy hair that looks like the softest thing, greenish eyes hiding underneath it, and the brightest smile he ever remembers seeing. And fuck, those dimples.
"Did you get it, babe?" Danneel asks from his right, and for one wild moment, Jensen's mind leads him to believe she means the guy's number.
"Wha-? Oh, yeah, here it is."
He places the envelope over her lap and offers her a gentle smile, apologizing inside for his own thoughts. She smiles back at him quickly and is eager to start reading the menu out loud as he drives off.
Jared makes the mistake of telling his friend Chad about Jensen, which is stupid, really, and ridiculous on so many fucking levels considering Jared knows nothing about the guy, has talked to him for three minutes, and will most likely never hear about him again.
And of course, it's enough to give Chad a reason to tease him endlessly until something equally embarrassing or amusing happens to someone else in their lives so that they can move on. He actually shows up to Jared's job on Thursday, looking like he's just woken up and bearing a grin that can't mean anything good.
Jared's kind enough to point out that the fact that Chad has no life is ten times lamer than crushing on some stranger.
"So, I ran into Tom the other day," Chad says, purposely ignoring his friend's comment. "Remember the guy I set you up with?"
Jared grunts and pretends to be very busy on the computer. "Yeah. I remember him."
"Well," Chad drawls out, waggling his eyebrows a bit. "Dontcha wanna know what he said 'bout you?"
"Dude, it was like a month ago," Jared says with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. "Besides, he wasn't into me, I wasn't into him, end of story."
Jared doesn't take his eyes away from the screen trying to put an end to the conversation. He's not really keen on discussing yet another failed date. He doesn't know why it affects him so much, honestly, it's not like he even had anything for this Tom dude. But still, sometimes he thinks it'd be nice if someone noticed him and was actually interested in him.
"Well, anyway," Chad goes on after a few seconds, "here. He told me to give you that. So he can't have been that not into you. Or something."
He pushes into Jared's hand a small piece of paper that reads 'Tom' and a phone number scribbled underneath.
"Oh."
Chad studies his friend's face. "Just call him. If you feel like it, I mean. If you really like him. Give him a chance, y'know? He's a nice guy. Just don't..." he makes a pause, hesitates, then decides to go for it and take the risk of pissing Jared off, again. "Just don't blow him off for this dude you barely know, yeah?"
Jared frowns, ready to deny anything related to Jensen. "Chad, I don't-"
"Aaaaaaand, my work here is done." Chad pushes himself off the desk, running a hand through his hair to mess it up even more. Jared simply stares at him, still frowning, still holding Tom's number in his hand. "See you tonight. Leftovers for dinner, specialty of the house."
Jared can't help but smile slightly at that as he watches his friend leave. He looks at the paper in his hands and finally decides against throwing it away, so he places it next to the keyboard instead. It can't hurt him to save it. And, besides, it's a bit of a reminder that at least someone saw past his lanky and dorky exterior and actually wanted something more.
He has to admit he starts to feel a lot lighter during the hours of work that follow, and he even starts considering calling Tom when his shift is over.
That is, of course, until the phone rings.
"Padalecki Delight, catering service, how may I help you?"
"Wow, look at you, you're getting good at that."
Jared chuckles, surprised. "Mom? What...?" He glances uncertainly at the hallway to his left that leads to some offices and the main kitchen, where he assumed his mother, head-chef and runner of the place, was right now. "I thought you were here. Where are you?"
"Honey, I had to go out to solve an urgent issue we had with our supplier, you know how these lazy bastards get 'round this time of the month."
Jared rolls his eyes slightly and smiles at his mother's complaining. "So, what is it?"
"Listen, there's a client who was going to be there around five, and she just called me to say something came up and she'll be there like an hour earlier. I was supposed to meet her so we could review the menu together, but I don't think I'll make it. You think you can tell Jeffrey to take a little break and talk to her?"
"Yeah, sure, no problem."
"Good. Her name's in today's agenda. Jeffrey shouldn't have any problems, but if he does, please tell him to phone me, okay?"
"Yeah, ma. Got it."
"Great, sweetheart, see you later then."
Jared hangs up with a short goodbye, then pulls out the agenda to check the person's name so he can tell Jeffrey and then cross it out from the slot at five.
His heart does a stupid little flip when he reads who the clients are.
17:00 hs.: J. Ackles & D. Harris.
Jared hates himself for getting nervous at the idea of seeing Jensen again. He can't believe he's this worked up over someone he barely knows. No, actually, he does believe it, he just can't understand how he's let himself go with it instead of just stopping it before it gets out of control.
It's not surprising that looking at Tom's number now does nothing for him, doesn't make him feel better at all - neither it is that he spends the following hour thinking non-stop about how he's going to act and what he's going to say to appear cool and nonchalant when Jensen shows up.
God, if Chad was there, he'd be kicking Jared's ass right back to the sensible part of his brain.
At exactly three minutes after four, the front door opens and Jensen arrives, wearing a suit again and looking as stunning as he had the other day. This time, however, there's a brunette woman attached to his side, arm linked around his.
Jared feels his heart drop a little as Jensen avoids his gaze on the way back to the desk, but then he has to remind himself that Jensen surely doesn't even remember him, and that, even if he did, it doesn't matter at all considering he's just some guy behind a stupid counter.
He clears his throat against the sudden lump. "Hello, good morning. What can I do for you?"
"Hi, I'm Danneel, and this is Jensen," the girl introduces them. "We had an appointment today at five, to go over some things for our wedding."
Jared feels his eyes inevitably slipping towards Jensen's face at the word wedding, but the man is chewing at his bottom lip, gaze down. Of course, Jared had thought about it, what other reason would make a guy like Jensen show up to a catering business other than getting married?
"We talked on the phone with Mrs. Padalecki, she told us another chef would be seeing us since she's out." She finishes with a gentle smile, and then, nodding her head towards the agenda that's still open in Jared's desk, adds "Ackles."
Jared looks down quickly and pretends to check. "Yes, no problem. Please just wait over there, I'll go call chef Morgan. He's the one you'll be talking to."
He leaves towards the kitchen to call Jeffrey, who's already changed out of his uniform and waiting, and then stays back a few minutes before walking back to the desk just to make sure Jensen and Danneel won't be there.
There's no logical explanation to the churning in his stomach and the way he just wants to crawl under the fucking desk and never come out again. So Jensen's getting married, big deal. He's just some straight, good-looking guy with a girlfriend, it's not like there aren't plenty of those out there for Jared to crush on. Still, Jared knows good-looking is an understatement, and that there's something more to Jensen than the way that that black suit hugs his body in the most amazing ways...
With a sigh, Jared pulls out his phone and texts Chad, trying to see if his friend can be compassionate with him for once.
Life sucks, he writes. Almost instantly, a reply comes, reading: pick up ur emo ass and call tom, idiot. And then, when Jared doesn't answer and instead spends some minutes making his cellphone spin over the desk as he thinks of ways of erasing someone from his life, a second message reaches his inbox. sorry mate. wish jensen was the one for u.
Jared smiles slightly despite the churning of his stomach. Deep down, he kind of knows that Jensen could be the one for him, but that he just isn't the one for Jensen, and the certainty of it inside his mind is scary as hell.
"Hey there."
Jensen's back. It's Friday, right after lunch, and Jensen and Danneel are back at the shop to taste samples. That makes it three times in a week, who does that? Only someone who wants to destroy Jared's young and naive heart, he thinks.
That's the conclusion Jared reaches. Jensen clearly goes around in life, making people fall for his suit and his eyes and his charming smile so he can then destroy their hopes by overdosing them with his presence. And his girlfriend's. That has to be the reason as to why Jensen's leaning over his desk again, alone, a small grin playing along his lips.
"Hi," Jared says, looking up only briefly from his computer to avoid getting lost in the sight. Jensen doesn't say anything back, and there are so many things Jared wants to ask him, like why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your future wife in that office? and what's your favourite color? Mine's probably green.
Instead, he continues to type away in his computer, filling in some forms from other clients, until the silence and the eyes boring into him become too much to bear. "When's the wedding then? Aren't you too young to be getting married?"
Jensen chuckles softly, that deep and almost out-of-breath sound that drives Jared crazy. "You really have no filter, do you?"
"Sorry," Jared mumbles, scratching a bit at his cheek because, now that he's stopped typing, he feels awfully stupid and young under Jensen's piercing gaze, and he doesn't know what to do with his hands.
"It's fine. We're getting married three months from now," Jensen replies, though his voice sounds flat and not at all excited for someone who's talking about his own wedding. "And I thought you said I looked old."
Jared takes in the other's smirk and blushes a bit. "Come on, that wasn't what I said."
Jensen smiles. "And aren't you a bit too young to be working at such a successful catering business?"
"Not when my mom owns this place," he explains with a small shrug. "Plus, I'm not too young, I'm 22 already."
"Oh, wow, 22 already," Jensen says teasingly, grin growing on his lips. "That's like, one more than 21. That's a lot of years, man."
"Shut up," Jared grins. "So, what about you? Age?"
Jensen raises his eyebrows slightly. "Can't you guess? With your amazing reading-people skills?"
"Hm." Jared decides to play along, trying to hide the smile that threatens to show as he leans forwards a bit, struggling to keep his eyes fixed on Jensen's. The man looks right back at him, gaze steady and intense, and Jared can feel something inside him shifting dangerously. After a while of staring, when the heat crawling up his neck starts to feel too much, he leans back on his chair. "26," he states.
Jensen smirks. "Close. I'm 27. Which sucks, because it sounds much closer to 30 than it does to 25."
The grin, that now seems permanently glued to Jared's face, grows even more. "Don't worry, old man. You still look good for someone your age."
"Oh, so now you're saying I'm old." Jensen shoots back, pretending to be offended. "God, I come here to get food and all I get are insults."
It's easy talking to Jensen, it's easy teasing him and joking around with him and watching the glint in his eyes and the grin on his lips, and it feels like they've known each other for a long time, months even. It's comfortable and it makes Jared feel like Jensen understands him, which is probably silly because the man knows nothing about him.
"So. That a client?"
Jared looks up just in time to see Jensen nodding towards a piece of paper placed right next to Jared's phone beside the keyboard, the one with Tom's number on it. He'd taken it out that morning for another while of staring and pondering, because after Jensen had left the previous day without so much as a glance over his shoulder, Jared had considered, yet again, calling the guy and seeing if they could give it another shot.
Now, though, there's nothing Jared wants to do less than call Tom. He snatches the paper and sticks it back in the pocket of his jeans.
"No," he says, his tone coming out a bit defensive.
Jensen peels himself up from the desk with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'm not usually that nosy, I just - it was there and I looked and... Sorry."
"No big deal," Jared says with a shrug. "He's a friend. Actually, he's not even a friend, he's a friend of my friend Chad. He's just this... guy, and - wait, sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you all this."
As the blush starts crawling up his cheeks, Jensen smiles again and leaves him out of breath. "You really need to stop blushing," he says teasingly.
"Then you really need to stop looking at me like that."
The words are out before Jared can stop them and Jensen's face goes serious all of a sudden, his eyes looking into Jared's as if he wants to read all of his thoughts. His heart speeds up and his stomach begins flipping again, and Jared feels like he's losing control of his own body, like he's losing himself inside that green depth.
"I..." he searches his mind for something to say, something to break the moment so that he can go back to trying to pretend he isn't very much into this stranger, to try to save himself before it's too late. "You have a lot of freckles."
Jensen grins, and Jared's almost sure he can see a bit of colour appearing underneath them on his fair skin. "God, you're... you're just-"
"Babe, ready to go?"
Danneel appears out of nowhere, making both men jump slightly and lean away from each other as if they'd been caught doing something wrong. She walks over to Jensen and runs a hand down his arm, then links their hands together.
"Yeah, let's go." Jensen turns towards the door and holds it open for his girlfriend, then looks back and offers Jared a small smile. "See you around, Jared."
Jared nods his head and waits until the door is closed to hide his face into his hands. His heart's still beating out of pace and his legs feel a bit shaky, and he's almost ready to admit that his entire world has been shifted by this incredible man who's about to get married.
Jensen's watching her from the door, leaning against the frame while she busies herself chopping up some carrots. There's a deep frown set on her face, but even if he couldn't see that, the whole way she's standing - her shoulders stiff and her back straight, the way her hands are slightly shaking - it all gives away the fact that she's angry for some reason.
And by the way she answered a short I'm fine when he asked her as soon as they got home, that reason is probably him.
"Dani, come on."
He approaches her and leans with his back against the counter beside her, places both hands on top of it and looks at her.
"I know something's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, Jensen," she answers without looking up.
The smallest smile makes its way to Jensen's lips. "And I'm supposed to believe that when you haven't called me Jensen for years now?" When he doesn't get an answer, he sighs. "Dani, come on, I've known you since I was 15, you think I can't tell when I've upset you?"
"In that case, you should know why I'm upset as well."
"Hah! So you are mad at me, after all."
His grin falters under her glare, and he looks down. He isn't really looking to start up a fight, all he wants is to lift the mood up a little, make her smile again. Planning their wedding is supposed to be something fun, something that brings them even closer. So far, though, all he's achieved is making her hate him for not being more helpful with choosing the fabric for her dress, or the bows for the chairs.
Jensen just doesn't know about stuff like that, and that's exactly what he'd told her when she'd brought it up. Well, neither do I, but I'm still trying to get everything right for the most important day of my life, she'd said. She's right, and Jensen owes her at least acting interested over those kind of things.
"Dani, I'm no fucking mind reader, come on," he says, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. When again she doesn't answer, he steps a little closer. "Is it about today? You were the one who told me to get out of the room in the first place."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, get out of the room, not go and - and flirt with that guy."
Jensen feels his entire face heating up and the mention of him, but he still does his best to look bewildered. "What?! What guy, the one behind the desk? Dani, he's like 12 years old."
"Don't try that on me, Jensen Ackles. I've known you since I was 15 too, don't you forget that."
"Dani, I wasn't..." he runs a hand through his hair, hesitating.
Except. Had he flirted with the guy? His friends always seem to like to remind him he has that flirtatious way of acting around people - and they don't think twice as they add after that how it got Jensen laid plenty back at college during his and Dani's break - but the truth is he doesn't even notice sometimes.
Though, of course, what didn't go unnoticed to him is that the kid - guy, actually, for he knows now that he's 22, and not like the muscles coming out from underneath his shirt could belong to any kid - is strikingly beautiful in that youngish kind of way, with his too-long teenage hair and that adorable blush he gets whenever Jensen smiles at him.
And he'd be lying if he said he hadn't given the guy much more thought than what he should have in their drive home. And the drive to the shop. And at work. Fuck.
"Listen," Danneel starts again, thankfully pulling him out of his thoughts. "I hate to bring this up every single time we argue, but-"
"Then don't," Jensen cuts her off dryly. "I know what you're going to say, and it's not even fair. It was six years ago, and besides, I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't heard about you and that Ethan guy."
"Jensen, it was one guy!" She exclaims. "In your case, there were three, and I don't even want to start counting the girls you dragged into your bed."
Jensen runs a hand heavily down his face. "I can't believe we're having this conversation again."
"If you hadn't-"
"If I hadn't? Dani, if you didn't bring up shit like this all the time, we wouldn't argue at all. You said it when we got back together, you said you forgave me, even if there was nothing to forgive. It's not fair you use the same damn argument against me all the fucking time!"
She closes her eyes for a second, and when she opens them again, she's staring at Jensen calmly. "Don't curse at me like that."
He sighs, a heavy weight on his stomach. "I'm sorry. I should just - I'm going for a walk or something."
Danneel doesn't even try to stop him, doesn't try to fix things herself for once, and that's perhaps what hurts Jensen the most. How he, in her eyes, always ends up being responsible for their fall outs even when he's trying hard to avoid them.
"Don't be back late," is all she says as he walks through the door.
Jared can't explain nor stop the lurch his stomach makes when he sees a built man in a black suit walking his way.
It's barely past six and he's leaning against the wall just outside the shop, bag hanging from his right shoulder, waiting for Chad to pick him up. He'd received a text from his friend around half an hour ago asking if he wanted a lift back home since he was already out buying groceries - but Jared suspects it's another part of Chad's plan to cheer him up.
Jared's been trying to keep Jensen out of his mind - which of course was turning out to be a lot easier before he'd showed up that morning with his fiancée. Jared's sure that the less he talks about it the more he'll convince other people he's no longer thinking about Jensen, and maybe he'll end up convincing himself, too.
But that's turning out to be a bit hard to do when Jensen's standing right next to him for no apparent reason, green eyes looking a bit clouded and avoiding Jared's stare.
"Um, hey, everything alright?" Jared asks tentatively, searching Jensen's face for some answers. When he gets none, he goes on. "If you need something here we're, uh, we just closed. I mean, we're closed for new clients, if it's something urgent, there's still some people in the back cooking, I mean - was there something you needed?"
His nervous babble and the blush that follows it are apparently enough to pull the smallest smile to Jensen's face.
"No, I... I was just taking a walk. I live just over there." He vaguely motions with his hand towards the direction he'd come from.
"Oh." Jared nods silently and looks down, sees the obvious contrast between his dirty sneakers and Jensen's shiny black shoes, the man's dress pants and his own torn and worn-out jeans.
It's hard not to get his hopes up when Jensen keeps showing up and talking to him like he's really interested. Jared's never known of anyone who made such efforts to become someone's friend or whatever - that is, if Jensen hadn't really been just walking around, had ran into him and had stopped to talk just because he was that polite.
So Jared looks up with a small frown and his heart skips a beat as he finds Jensen's green eyes studying him.
"What are you doing?" Jared asks.
Jensen seems to look for the answer somewhere inside his mind, understanding Jared's question perfectly, and finally, he shrugs. "I don't know."
Jared can't help but smile slightly at that. At least it's not a lie, he thinks, and he can live with that.
"And what are you doing?"
"Waiting for Chad," Jared explains, looking down the street at the mention of his friend's name. "He was going to pick me up, but it's been a while, so I don't know. I think I'll just walk."
"Ah, the friend of the friend," Jensen says with the barest smile, looking down for some seconds, and Jared doesn't know if he should be excited or embarrassed that Jensen remembers the whole Tom's-phone-number deal. Jensen looks back at him and seems to hesitate for a second. "Do you... you want to walk with me?"
There are some things Jared's always heard of and never actually felt, like hearts stopping or speeding up at a couple of words - but he surely is experiencing them all now with Jensen. Like the massive group of butterflies that suddenly invades his stomach and is making him feel slightly nauseous, even if Jensen's offer is out of nothing but convenience and kindness.
"Sure," he says, trying to act nonchalant. "Where are you heading to?"
His voice comes out strained and a bit shaky, but if Jensen notices, he says nothing. "Nowhere," he replies with a shrug. "So, wherever it is you're going."
Jared nods his head and starts walking, Jensen following him closely.
The thing about being tall and having abnormally long legs is that Jared usually has to go slower than what's a normal pace for him so that others can keep up. This doesn't happen with Jensen. He isn't as tall as Jared, but his strides are longer - more sure and confident than Jared's, he can't help but notice - so they easily fall into a comfortable rhythm as they walk down the street.
"So, do you usually go take walks in suits?" Jared asks jokingly. "Do you even own anything else?"
Jensen smirks and tugs at his already loosened tie. "Eh, comes with being a lawyer." He grins. "Besides, I've been told I look good in it, so I try to use that to my advantage as much as possible."
Even if Jared hasn't seen Jensen in any other clothes that aren't these, he has to agree with that because he can't possibly imagine him looking any better than he does now - it just isn't physically possible to get any more attractive, he thinks.
But instead of answering something stupid to that and embarrassing himself, Jared stays quiet and stores this new piece of information inside the little Jensen-drawer he's recently opened inside his mind. Lawyer. He hadn't given much thought to it, but the idea of Jensen being a lawyer isn't something he would've imagined anyway. It doesn't seem to fit Jensen at all.
"What about you?" Jensen asks as they stop at a corner waiting for the green light. "Do you usually carry to work heavy bags like that one?"
Jared returns Jensen's playful smile and moves his bag to his other shoulder, careful not to hit Jensen with it because he's just clumsy like that.
"Yeah, I do," he answers, "but only because I come here straight from class, so I have to drag all my stuff around."
"Oh, what are you studying?"
"I'm studying Arts at the UT," Jared says. "Still not sure if it's the right thing for me, you know, but it's the only one with a photography course, and that's what really interests me. I guess it's more of a title thing, I just want the title, and maybe live off photography later, I don't know. My mom, she's not too thrilled, she says I should study a real thing or whatever, but I don't want to do something I don't like just because it's more serious. To me, it's - oh hey, look!"
Jared fortunately spots something that distracts him and puts an end to his ramblings. He places a hand on Jensen's shoulder to stop him and points with his free hand at a tree on the sidewalk a few feet away.
There, hiding between the tallest branches, is a small, black kitten curled up into a tiny ball of fur. Jared can't help but grin and walk over - he's always had a huge thing for animals, he just loves them.
"Hey there, buddy," he says in a soft voice, slowly lifting his hand towards the kitten. "You stuck up there?"
Jared suddenly notices he's talking to a cat, but Jensen's not laughing at him. He walks over to him and stares at the cat from Jared's right, and then decides to tease him about his height instead.
"Of course you had to be as tall as the fucking tree," he mutters as Jared lifts both hands and grabs the small kitten, whose only reaction is a quiet meow.
"Shut up," Jared says. "Look how cute he is."
He brings the kitten up to his chest, and Jensen has to step closer so he can stroke its tiny head with the back of his finger. The kitten meows again and starts purring, bringing a smile to both men's faces and making Jared feel like they're sharing a quite intimate moment.
He can feel Jensen's body heat, can smell his cologne, and fuck, from this distance he can even probably count the freckles over his nose and cheeks. Jensen continues petting the cat, and at one point he looks up, and Jared's lost once again. He feels the adrenaline rush through his veins and lets out a shaky breath.
"We, um..." he clears his throat. "There's an animal shelter two streets down. We could take him there."
Jensen steps back and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sure. Whatever you want."
The cat lets out another meow at the sudden lack of warmth, and Jared chuckles because he too misses the closeness already. He carefully slips the black kitten into his large jacket pocket, keeping one hand inside to hold it even if it quickly curls up comfortably and starts purring again.
"You've got a thing for animals, then, huh?" Jensen asks him as they resume their walking.
"Yeah, I love them. All my life I've had pets, ever since I can remember. They were strays, mostly, just whatever animal I found on the street. My mother was never too happy about that, but she ended up getting used to it as long as I promised to feed them and clean after them."
He makes a pause because he can feel himself starting to rant again, but Jensen simply lets out a low hum, encouraging to go on.
"After a while, I started adopting them from the shelter near my house. I've got two dogs now, Harley and Sadie, the friendliest dogs you'll ever meet. And I've got a cat, too. Jam. Weird, non-cool name, I know, I just wanted to name him something related to Pearl Jam but I couldn't come up with anything better than that. And he's basically Chad's cat. It's ridiculous, I feed him and clean after him, and yet he completely ignores me."
He looks over at Jensen and finds him smiling almost fondly at him. Jared blushes slightly again and ducks his head. "You'll tell me if I start talking too much, yeah?"
"I'll tell you if it starts bothering me," Jensen replies.
Jared smiles, his stomach feeling a bit weird at the idea of Jensen being interested in what he's saying. "What about you? Got any pets?"
Jensen shakes his head. "Not now. I like animals, and I had a few dogs when I was a kid, but Dani isn't much into pets, and so... eh, I don't know, it's never been the right time for us to have one."
Jensen shrugs and looks down, and Jared doesn't push further on the subject, because by the tone of the other's voice, his girlfriend isn't something he wants to talk about at the moment. Not that Jared wants to talk about her, either. At all.
They reach the shelter, and as Jared starts walking in, he notices Jensen isn't following. "You coming?"
He hesitates slightly. "Nah, I should probably head back," he says, head turning to where they'd come from, then back at Jared. "I should, you know. Fix things."
Jared isn't sure what Jensen's talking about - something isn't all that great with Danneel, he can tell that much - but again, he doesn't ask.
"Alright," he simply says, feeling a bit sad that he has to say goodbye to Jensen already. He's enjoyed talking to him, walking with him, hell, even the few silences here and there made him feel comfortable. He doesn't want to let Jensen leave without knowing he'll see him again. "Listen, um... if you wanted, you could, like... come over some day, and meet my dogs and stuff."
Jensen raises an eyebrow at him, looking amused. "Meet your dogs?"
"I just - you said you liked animals, and maybe... well, I don't know, they make me feel better. Cheer me up, you know? And if you felt like it, um..." Jared trails off when he realizes he's making a fool of himself by assuming that Jensen needs cheering up, and that, if he did, he'd go to Jared. He looks down, rubbing at his cheek against the heat that's colouring it, and shrugs. "I don't know."
But Jensen continues to smile at him. "Sure, sounds like a good idea," he says.
"Yeah? Awesome," Jared says, unable to contain his excitement. "So, you know. Just visit whenever."
Jensen nods his head at him and takes off, and as he reaches the corner, he throws one short glance over his shoulder that makes Jared's entire body shiver, and helps him feel a little less stupid at the fact that he's still standing there, holding the door open, watching him walk away.
Jared gets home that night to find the house empty - except for the dogs and Jam - and all the groceries that Chad apparently bought that day labelled with small, red post-its. A note is on the table, and it reads:
Thanks for making me drive all the way to your job for nothing. Thanks for texting me to let me know you'd walked. Thanks for answering my calls so I could be sure you were ok and hadn't been kidnapped (your mom said you left with some dude, so I'm hoping you're not stupid enough to walk home with a stranger).
Everything in red is mine. You can't eat it.
Went out for dinner and drinks with Zach and the rest of the guys (see, that's what good roommates do, they tell each other where they are!)
Hate,
Chad
Jared shakes his head with a smile and throws the note away. He'd thought of texting Chad to let him know that he was walking back home, but then everything was grins and laughs and green eyes and the thought had just vanished from his mind.
Feeling a bit guilty, he texts Chad to let him know he's alright and sorry, then follows his friend's orders and eats the last portions of some old pizza they have in the fridge. He's a bit tired to go out, so once he feeds the animals and takes a shower, he slumps on the couch in his sweats and gets ready to spend the rest of the evening in front of the TV.
Masterpost | Next
Author: gluckspirat
Artist: loverstar
Fandom: CW RPF
Genre: Slash, AU.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The following story is fiction and it never happened. I don't know nor own the characters.
Word count: 39,975
Summary: Jared's life finally seems to be on track: he's living with his friend Chad, studying what he loves, and now that he's working for his mother, he can afford both things. Even the introduction of Jensen Ackles to the picture doesn't appear to shake things up much - he's charming and hot and funny, and Jared feels an instant attraction, but it's just another crush on a straight guy and Jared's positive he'll get over it. That is, until Jensen starts flirting back and sending Jared mixed signs - which would be great, really, if it wasn't for the tiny little fact that Jensen's getting married, and that he's chosen Jared's mom's catering business to serve at his wedding.
If young Jared Padalecki was ever given the chance to choose his dream job, attending to the front of his mother's catering service shop wouldn't probably be it.
Sure, it's an easy thing to do, and the money is enough to help him cover half the rent of the apartment he shares with Chad and all the basic stuff to pull him through the month. But working behind a desk for the entire day isn't exactly his idea of appealing - even less when it means dealing with annoyingly demanding 16-year-old's, stressed out business men, or sickeningly sweet couples set to rub in his face something he'll never have.
Marriage. Jared just doesn't want to get married. It's not a big deal, really. His mother has always insisted it's just a phase, that maybe when he meets the right person he'll change his mind. But what won't change, however, is the fact that if he ever did choose to have a wedding, it'd be nothing but a symbolic ceremony. It's either that or going to another state where same-sex marriage is legal and recognized.
He thinks maybe that's why his mom insisted so much on him to take this job when Louisa, their previous secretary, had to ask for a few months off to take care of her newborn kid. Jared doesn't blame her for wanting what he's sure every mother wishes for their children: a wedding and grand kids and the whole package that comes with being straight, and on some occasions, he even dreams of being different just to make her happy.
But it isn't up to him to decide, and in the end, it doesn't really matter because, again, Jared doesn't want to get married.
Despite all this, if Jared squints really hard, he finds that the job has its good side. Like the fact he has his own computer at the front desk, and enough free time to use it to catch up on his homework - or for recreational purposes.
That's exactly what he's doing that day when he hears the door open, and a tall man sporting a black suit walks in. Well, tall if Jared tries to analyze it from a normal person's point of view and not his own freakishly tall 6'4".
"Hello," the man says walking up to him and placing both hands on top of the desk. Jared feels his breath get caught as he meets the other's eyes, green and captivating and framed by the longest set of eyelashes he's ever seen on a guy.
"Um, hi. Hello." Jared manages to choke out.
The man offers him a gentle smile. "I, uh, called last week and was told to come by today to pick up some lists and menus to go over. I talked to a woman - Louise or something, but clearly... you're not her," he finishes with a chuckle.
"No, I'm not," Jared answers, returning the smile and trying to ignore the way the man's deep and manly voice makes his heart speed. "I'm Jared, I'm covering up for her. But she did leave some papers here for you, assuming you're, uh," he leans down to grab a stack of papers and squints at the name written in messy handwriting across the envelope, "Jensen Ackles?"
"Yep, that's me."
Jared hands the papers over to him, all the while smiling internally at the image he'd pictured of the man when Louisa had given him the how-things-work talk and had left the menus in the lower shelf of the desk. It's just - Jensen isn't your every day name. Jared pictured him to be an old man perhaps, a farmer even. An old farmer.
He suddenly realizes he hasn't let go of the papers, and that he's smiling to himself like a complete lunatic, which is making Jensen look at him with raised eyebrows.
Jared draws his hand back quickly.
"Is the food in here that amusing?" Jensen asks with a lopsided smile, tone showing him to be a bit unsure of whether he's allowed in to Jared's private joke.
"I just - I thought you'd be older," Jared blurts out, eyes widening instantly at his words. "Not that, um... not that your name is a name for old people, I just. In fact, you look young. Not too young, you're not a kid, obviously. Just a guy. A regular guy." He makes a pause, his cheeks burning red from his own embarrassment and the amused smile on Jensen's face. "I have no filter."
Jensen throws his head back in a laugh, leaving Jared to admire the perfect lines of his neck and jaw, covered in the faintest hint of stubble.
"Yeah, I see that," Jensen says. He places his forearms on top of the desk and leans forward slightly, having to look up at Jared standing on the other side. "So, I don't look too old nor too young. I'll take that as a compliment," he adds with a small grin.
"You should. I mean, if - if you wanted to." Jared looks down at his feet because, at this point, he's not sure he can embarrass himself any further, and his face can't get any redder.
Probably noticing his discomfort and taking it the wrong way, Jensen smiles at him one last time and straightens up. "Goodbye, Jared. Thanks for the papers," he says, and walks out.
Jared looks up from his shoes once he's sure the door has closed behind the other man, and only then he allows himself to relax and let out a sigh.
Another reason why he'll never get married: his total and complete lack of abilities to have a normal conversation with someone he likes. And the fact that he instantly crushes on charming guys like Jensen.
Great, now he's going to be thinking about green eyes and long eyelashes for the rest of the week.
The minute Jensen walks through the door, he feels a strange churning on his stomach as if something huge and life-changing had just happened.
Even as he gets into his car with his girlfriend - fiancee, he reminds himself - next to him on the passenger seat, his mind keeps going back to that kid behind the desk, with that floppy hair that looks like the softest thing, greenish eyes hiding underneath it, and the brightest smile he ever remembers seeing. And fuck, those dimples.
"Did you get it, babe?" Danneel asks from his right, and for one wild moment, Jensen's mind leads him to believe she means the guy's number.
"Wha-? Oh, yeah, here it is."
He places the envelope over her lap and offers her a gentle smile, apologizing inside for his own thoughts. She smiles back at him quickly and is eager to start reading the menu out loud as he drives off.
Jared makes the mistake of telling his friend Chad about Jensen, which is stupid, really, and ridiculous on so many fucking levels considering Jared knows nothing about the guy, has talked to him for three minutes, and will most likely never hear about him again.
And of course, it's enough to give Chad a reason to tease him endlessly until something equally embarrassing or amusing happens to someone else in their lives so that they can move on. He actually shows up to Jared's job on Thursday, looking like he's just woken up and bearing a grin that can't mean anything good.
Jared's kind enough to point out that the fact that Chad has no life is ten times lamer than crushing on some stranger.
"So, I ran into Tom the other day," Chad says, purposely ignoring his friend's comment. "Remember the guy I set you up with?"
Jared grunts and pretends to be very busy on the computer. "Yeah. I remember him."
"Well," Chad drawls out, waggling his eyebrows a bit. "Dontcha wanna know what he said 'bout you?"
"Dude, it was like a month ago," Jared says with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. "Besides, he wasn't into me, I wasn't into him, end of story."
Jared doesn't take his eyes away from the screen trying to put an end to the conversation. He's not really keen on discussing yet another failed date. He doesn't know why it affects him so much, honestly, it's not like he even had anything for this Tom dude. But still, sometimes he thinks it'd be nice if someone noticed him and was actually interested in him.
"Well, anyway," Chad goes on after a few seconds, "here. He told me to give you that. So he can't have been that not into you. Or something."
He pushes into Jared's hand a small piece of paper that reads 'Tom' and a phone number scribbled underneath.
"Oh."
Chad studies his friend's face. "Just call him. If you feel like it, I mean. If you really like him. Give him a chance, y'know? He's a nice guy. Just don't..." he makes a pause, hesitates, then decides to go for it and take the risk of pissing Jared off, again. "Just don't blow him off for this dude you barely know, yeah?"
Jared frowns, ready to deny anything related to Jensen. "Chad, I don't-"
"Aaaaaaand, my work here is done." Chad pushes himself off the desk, running a hand through his hair to mess it up even more. Jared simply stares at him, still frowning, still holding Tom's number in his hand. "See you tonight. Leftovers for dinner, specialty of the house."
Jared can't help but smile slightly at that as he watches his friend leave. He looks at the paper in his hands and finally decides against throwing it away, so he places it next to the keyboard instead. It can't hurt him to save it. And, besides, it's a bit of a reminder that at least someone saw past his lanky and dorky exterior and actually wanted something more.
He has to admit he starts to feel a lot lighter during the hours of work that follow, and he even starts considering calling Tom when his shift is over.
That is, of course, until the phone rings.
"Padalecki Delight, catering service, how may I help you?"
"Wow, look at you, you're getting good at that."
Jared chuckles, surprised. "Mom? What...?" He glances uncertainly at the hallway to his left that leads to some offices and the main kitchen, where he assumed his mother, head-chef and runner of the place, was right now. "I thought you were here. Where are you?"
"Honey, I had to go out to solve an urgent issue we had with our supplier, you know how these lazy bastards get 'round this time of the month."
Jared rolls his eyes slightly and smiles at his mother's complaining. "So, what is it?"
"Listen, there's a client who was going to be there around five, and she just called me to say something came up and she'll be there like an hour earlier. I was supposed to meet her so we could review the menu together, but I don't think I'll make it. You think you can tell Jeffrey to take a little break and talk to her?"
"Yeah, sure, no problem."
"Good. Her name's in today's agenda. Jeffrey shouldn't have any problems, but if he does, please tell him to phone me, okay?"
"Yeah, ma. Got it."
"Great, sweetheart, see you later then."
Jared hangs up with a short goodbye, then pulls out the agenda to check the person's name so he can tell Jeffrey and then cross it out from the slot at five.
His heart does a stupid little flip when he reads who the clients are.
17:00 hs.: J. Ackles & D. Harris.
Jared hates himself for getting nervous at the idea of seeing Jensen again. He can't believe he's this worked up over someone he barely knows. No, actually, he does believe it, he just can't understand how he's let himself go with it instead of just stopping it before it gets out of control.
It's not surprising that looking at Tom's number now does nothing for him, doesn't make him feel better at all - neither it is that he spends the following hour thinking non-stop about how he's going to act and what he's going to say to appear cool and nonchalant when Jensen shows up.
God, if Chad was there, he'd be kicking Jared's ass right back to the sensible part of his brain.
At exactly three minutes after four, the front door opens and Jensen arrives, wearing a suit again and looking as stunning as he had the other day. This time, however, there's a brunette woman attached to his side, arm linked around his.
Jared feels his heart drop a little as Jensen avoids his gaze on the way back to the desk, but then he has to remind himself that Jensen surely doesn't even remember him, and that, even if he did, it doesn't matter at all considering he's just some guy behind a stupid counter.
He clears his throat against the sudden lump. "Hello, good morning. What can I do for you?"
"Hi, I'm Danneel, and this is Jensen," the girl introduces them. "We had an appointment today at five, to go over some things for our wedding."
Jared feels his eyes inevitably slipping towards Jensen's face at the word wedding, but the man is chewing at his bottom lip, gaze down. Of course, Jared had thought about it, what other reason would make a guy like Jensen show up to a catering business other than getting married?
"We talked on the phone with Mrs. Padalecki, she told us another chef would be seeing us since she's out." She finishes with a gentle smile, and then, nodding her head towards the agenda that's still open in Jared's desk, adds "Ackles."
Jared looks down quickly and pretends to check. "Yes, no problem. Please just wait over there, I'll go call chef Morgan. He's the one you'll be talking to."
He leaves towards the kitchen to call Jeffrey, who's already changed out of his uniform and waiting, and then stays back a few minutes before walking back to the desk just to make sure Jensen and Danneel won't be there.
There's no logical explanation to the churning in his stomach and the way he just wants to crawl under the fucking desk and never come out again. So Jensen's getting married, big deal. He's just some straight, good-looking guy with a girlfriend, it's not like there aren't plenty of those out there for Jared to crush on. Still, Jared knows good-looking is an understatement, and that there's something more to Jensen than the way that that black suit hugs his body in the most amazing ways...
With a sigh, Jared pulls out his phone and texts Chad, trying to see if his friend can be compassionate with him for once.
Life sucks, he writes. Almost instantly, a reply comes, reading: pick up ur emo ass and call tom, idiot. And then, when Jared doesn't answer and instead spends some minutes making his cellphone spin over the desk as he thinks of ways of erasing someone from his life, a second message reaches his inbox. sorry mate. wish jensen was the one for u.
Jared smiles slightly despite the churning of his stomach. Deep down, he kind of knows that Jensen could be the one for him, but that he just isn't the one for Jensen, and the certainty of it inside his mind is scary as hell.
"Hey there."
Jensen's back. It's Friday, right after lunch, and Jensen and Danneel are back at the shop to taste samples. That makes it three times in a week, who does that? Only someone who wants to destroy Jared's young and naive heart, he thinks.
That's the conclusion Jared reaches. Jensen clearly goes around in life, making people fall for his suit and his eyes and his charming smile so he can then destroy their hopes by overdosing them with his presence. And his girlfriend's. That has to be the reason as to why Jensen's leaning over his desk again, alone, a small grin playing along his lips.
"Hi," Jared says, looking up only briefly from his computer to avoid getting lost in the sight. Jensen doesn't say anything back, and there are so many things Jared wants to ask him, like why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your future wife in that office? and what's your favourite color? Mine's probably green.
Instead, he continues to type away in his computer, filling in some forms from other clients, until the silence and the eyes boring into him become too much to bear. "When's the wedding then? Aren't you too young to be getting married?"
Jensen chuckles softly, that deep and almost out-of-breath sound that drives Jared crazy. "You really have no filter, do you?"
"Sorry," Jared mumbles, scratching a bit at his cheek because, now that he's stopped typing, he feels awfully stupid and young under Jensen's piercing gaze, and he doesn't know what to do with his hands.
"It's fine. We're getting married three months from now," Jensen replies, though his voice sounds flat and not at all excited for someone who's talking about his own wedding. "And I thought you said I looked old."
Jared takes in the other's smirk and blushes a bit. "Come on, that wasn't what I said."
Jensen smiles. "And aren't you a bit too young to be working at such a successful catering business?"
"Not when my mom owns this place," he explains with a small shrug. "Plus, I'm not too young, I'm 22 already."
"Oh, wow, 22 already," Jensen says teasingly, grin growing on his lips. "That's like, one more than 21. That's a lot of years, man."
"Shut up," Jared grins. "So, what about you? Age?"
Jensen raises his eyebrows slightly. "Can't you guess? With your amazing reading-people skills?"
"Hm." Jared decides to play along, trying to hide the smile that threatens to show as he leans forwards a bit, struggling to keep his eyes fixed on Jensen's. The man looks right back at him, gaze steady and intense, and Jared can feel something inside him shifting dangerously. After a while of staring, when the heat crawling up his neck starts to feel too much, he leans back on his chair. "26," he states.
Jensen smirks. "Close. I'm 27. Which sucks, because it sounds much closer to 30 than it does to 25."
The grin, that now seems permanently glued to Jared's face, grows even more. "Don't worry, old man. You still look good for someone your age."
"Oh, so now you're saying I'm old." Jensen shoots back, pretending to be offended. "God, I come here to get food and all I get are insults."
It's easy talking to Jensen, it's easy teasing him and joking around with him and watching the glint in his eyes and the grin on his lips, and it feels like they've known each other for a long time, months even. It's comfortable and it makes Jared feel like Jensen understands him, which is probably silly because the man knows nothing about him.
"So. That a client?"
Jared looks up just in time to see Jensen nodding towards a piece of paper placed right next to Jared's phone beside the keyboard, the one with Tom's number on it. He'd taken it out that morning for another while of staring and pondering, because after Jensen had left the previous day without so much as a glance over his shoulder, Jared had considered, yet again, calling the guy and seeing if they could give it another shot.
Now, though, there's nothing Jared wants to do less than call Tom. He snatches the paper and sticks it back in the pocket of his jeans.
"No," he says, his tone coming out a bit defensive.
Jensen peels himself up from the desk with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'm not usually that nosy, I just - it was there and I looked and... Sorry."
"No big deal," Jared says with a shrug. "He's a friend. Actually, he's not even a friend, he's a friend of my friend Chad. He's just this... guy, and - wait, sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you all this."
As the blush starts crawling up his cheeks, Jensen smiles again and leaves him out of breath. "You really need to stop blushing," he says teasingly.
"Then you really need to stop looking at me like that."
The words are out before Jared can stop them and Jensen's face goes serious all of a sudden, his eyes looking into Jared's as if he wants to read all of his thoughts. His heart speeds up and his stomach begins flipping again, and Jared feels like he's losing control of his own body, like he's losing himself inside that green depth.
"I..." he searches his mind for something to say, something to break the moment so that he can go back to trying to pretend he isn't very much into this stranger, to try to save himself before it's too late. "You have a lot of freckles."
Jensen grins, and Jared's almost sure he can see a bit of colour appearing underneath them on his fair skin. "God, you're... you're just-"
"Babe, ready to go?"
Danneel appears out of nowhere, making both men jump slightly and lean away from each other as if they'd been caught doing something wrong. She walks over to Jensen and runs a hand down his arm, then links their hands together.
"Yeah, let's go." Jensen turns towards the door and holds it open for his girlfriend, then looks back and offers Jared a small smile. "See you around, Jared."
Jared nods his head and waits until the door is closed to hide his face into his hands. His heart's still beating out of pace and his legs feel a bit shaky, and he's almost ready to admit that his entire world has been shifted by this incredible man who's about to get married.
Jensen's watching her from the door, leaning against the frame while she busies herself chopping up some carrots. There's a deep frown set on her face, but even if he couldn't see that, the whole way she's standing - her shoulders stiff and her back straight, the way her hands are slightly shaking - it all gives away the fact that she's angry for some reason.
And by the way she answered a short I'm fine when he asked her as soon as they got home, that reason is probably him.
"Dani, come on."
He approaches her and leans with his back against the counter beside her, places both hands on top of it and looks at her.
"I know something's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, Jensen," she answers without looking up.
The smallest smile makes its way to Jensen's lips. "And I'm supposed to believe that when you haven't called me Jensen for years now?" When he doesn't get an answer, he sighs. "Dani, come on, I've known you since I was 15, you think I can't tell when I've upset you?"
"In that case, you should know why I'm upset as well."
"Hah! So you are mad at me, after all."
His grin falters under her glare, and he looks down. He isn't really looking to start up a fight, all he wants is to lift the mood up a little, make her smile again. Planning their wedding is supposed to be something fun, something that brings them even closer. So far, though, all he's achieved is making her hate him for not being more helpful with choosing the fabric for her dress, or the bows for the chairs.
Jensen just doesn't know about stuff like that, and that's exactly what he'd told her when she'd brought it up. Well, neither do I, but I'm still trying to get everything right for the most important day of my life, she'd said. She's right, and Jensen owes her at least acting interested over those kind of things.
"Dani, I'm no fucking mind reader, come on," he says, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. When again she doesn't answer, he steps a little closer. "Is it about today? You were the one who told me to get out of the room in the first place."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, get out of the room, not go and - and flirt with that guy."
Jensen feels his entire face heating up and the mention of him, but he still does his best to look bewildered. "What?! What guy, the one behind the desk? Dani, he's like 12 years old."
"Don't try that on me, Jensen Ackles. I've known you since I was 15 too, don't you forget that."
"Dani, I wasn't..." he runs a hand through his hair, hesitating.
Except. Had he flirted with the guy? His friends always seem to like to remind him he has that flirtatious way of acting around people - and they don't think twice as they add after that how it got Jensen laid plenty back at college during his and Dani's break - but the truth is he doesn't even notice sometimes.
Though, of course, what didn't go unnoticed to him is that the kid - guy, actually, for he knows now that he's 22, and not like the muscles coming out from underneath his shirt could belong to any kid - is strikingly beautiful in that youngish kind of way, with his too-long teenage hair and that adorable blush he gets whenever Jensen smiles at him.
And he'd be lying if he said he hadn't given the guy much more thought than what he should have in their drive home. And the drive to the shop. And at work. Fuck.
"Listen," Danneel starts again, thankfully pulling him out of his thoughts. "I hate to bring this up every single time we argue, but-"
"Then don't," Jensen cuts her off dryly. "I know what you're going to say, and it's not even fair. It was six years ago, and besides, I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't heard about you and that Ethan guy."
"Jensen, it was one guy!" She exclaims. "In your case, there were three, and I don't even want to start counting the girls you dragged into your bed."
Jensen runs a hand heavily down his face. "I can't believe we're having this conversation again."
"If you hadn't-"
"If I hadn't? Dani, if you didn't bring up shit like this all the time, we wouldn't argue at all. You said it when we got back together, you said you forgave me, even if there was nothing to forgive. It's not fair you use the same damn argument against me all the fucking time!"
She closes her eyes for a second, and when she opens them again, she's staring at Jensen calmly. "Don't curse at me like that."
He sighs, a heavy weight on his stomach. "I'm sorry. I should just - I'm going for a walk or something."
Danneel doesn't even try to stop him, doesn't try to fix things herself for once, and that's perhaps what hurts Jensen the most. How he, in her eyes, always ends up being responsible for their fall outs even when he's trying hard to avoid them.
"Don't be back late," is all she says as he walks through the door.
Jared can't explain nor stop the lurch his stomach makes when he sees a built man in a black suit walking his way.
It's barely past six and he's leaning against the wall just outside the shop, bag hanging from his right shoulder, waiting for Chad to pick him up. He'd received a text from his friend around half an hour ago asking if he wanted a lift back home since he was already out buying groceries - but Jared suspects it's another part of Chad's plan to cheer him up.
Jared's been trying to keep Jensen out of his mind - which of course was turning out to be a lot easier before he'd showed up that morning with his fiancée. Jared's sure that the less he talks about it the more he'll convince other people he's no longer thinking about Jensen, and maybe he'll end up convincing himself, too.
But that's turning out to be a bit hard to do when Jensen's standing right next to him for no apparent reason, green eyes looking a bit clouded and avoiding Jared's stare.
"Um, hey, everything alright?" Jared asks tentatively, searching Jensen's face for some answers. When he gets none, he goes on. "If you need something here we're, uh, we just closed. I mean, we're closed for new clients, if it's something urgent, there's still some people in the back cooking, I mean - was there something you needed?"
His nervous babble and the blush that follows it are apparently enough to pull the smallest smile to Jensen's face.
"No, I... I was just taking a walk. I live just over there." He vaguely motions with his hand towards the direction he'd come from.
"Oh." Jared nods silently and looks down, sees the obvious contrast between his dirty sneakers and Jensen's shiny black shoes, the man's dress pants and his own torn and worn-out jeans.
It's hard not to get his hopes up when Jensen keeps showing up and talking to him like he's really interested. Jared's never known of anyone who made such efforts to become someone's friend or whatever - that is, if Jensen hadn't really been just walking around, had ran into him and had stopped to talk just because he was that polite.
So Jared looks up with a small frown and his heart skips a beat as he finds Jensen's green eyes studying him.
"What are you doing?" Jared asks.
Jensen seems to look for the answer somewhere inside his mind, understanding Jared's question perfectly, and finally, he shrugs. "I don't know."
Jared can't help but smile slightly at that. At least it's not a lie, he thinks, and he can live with that.
"And what are you doing?"
"Waiting for Chad," Jared explains, looking down the street at the mention of his friend's name. "He was going to pick me up, but it's been a while, so I don't know. I think I'll just walk."
"Ah, the friend of the friend," Jensen says with the barest smile, looking down for some seconds, and Jared doesn't know if he should be excited or embarrassed that Jensen remembers the whole Tom's-phone-number deal. Jensen looks back at him and seems to hesitate for a second. "Do you... you want to walk with me?"
There are some things Jared's always heard of and never actually felt, like hearts stopping or speeding up at a couple of words - but he surely is experiencing them all now with Jensen. Like the massive group of butterflies that suddenly invades his stomach and is making him feel slightly nauseous, even if Jensen's offer is out of nothing but convenience and kindness.
"Sure," he says, trying to act nonchalant. "Where are you heading to?"
His voice comes out strained and a bit shaky, but if Jensen notices, he says nothing. "Nowhere," he replies with a shrug. "So, wherever it is you're going."
Jared nods his head and starts walking, Jensen following him closely.
The thing about being tall and having abnormally long legs is that Jared usually has to go slower than what's a normal pace for him so that others can keep up. This doesn't happen with Jensen. He isn't as tall as Jared, but his strides are longer - more sure and confident than Jared's, he can't help but notice - so they easily fall into a comfortable rhythm as they walk down the street.
"So, do you usually go take walks in suits?" Jared asks jokingly. "Do you even own anything else?"
Jensen smirks and tugs at his already loosened tie. "Eh, comes with being a lawyer." He grins. "Besides, I've been told I look good in it, so I try to use that to my advantage as much as possible."
Even if Jared hasn't seen Jensen in any other clothes that aren't these, he has to agree with that because he can't possibly imagine him looking any better than he does now - it just isn't physically possible to get any more attractive, he thinks.
But instead of answering something stupid to that and embarrassing himself, Jared stays quiet and stores this new piece of information inside the little Jensen-drawer he's recently opened inside his mind. Lawyer. He hadn't given much thought to it, but the idea of Jensen being a lawyer isn't something he would've imagined anyway. It doesn't seem to fit Jensen at all.
"What about you?" Jensen asks as they stop at a corner waiting for the green light. "Do you usually carry to work heavy bags like that one?"
Jared returns Jensen's playful smile and moves his bag to his other shoulder, careful not to hit Jensen with it because he's just clumsy like that.
"Yeah, I do," he answers, "but only because I come here straight from class, so I have to drag all my stuff around."
"Oh, what are you studying?"
"I'm studying Arts at the UT," Jared says. "Still not sure if it's the right thing for me, you know, but it's the only one with a photography course, and that's what really interests me. I guess it's more of a title thing, I just want the title, and maybe live off photography later, I don't know. My mom, she's not too thrilled, she says I should study a real thing or whatever, but I don't want to do something I don't like just because it's more serious. To me, it's - oh hey, look!"
Jared fortunately spots something that distracts him and puts an end to his ramblings. He places a hand on Jensen's shoulder to stop him and points with his free hand at a tree on the sidewalk a few feet away.
There, hiding between the tallest branches, is a small, black kitten curled up into a tiny ball of fur. Jared can't help but grin and walk over - he's always had a huge thing for animals, he just loves them.
"Hey there, buddy," he says in a soft voice, slowly lifting his hand towards the kitten. "You stuck up there?"
Jared suddenly notices he's talking to a cat, but Jensen's not laughing at him. He walks over to him and stares at the cat from Jared's right, and then decides to tease him about his height instead.
"Of course you had to be as tall as the fucking tree," he mutters as Jared lifts both hands and grabs the small kitten, whose only reaction is a quiet meow.
"Shut up," Jared says. "Look how cute he is."
He brings the kitten up to his chest, and Jensen has to step closer so he can stroke its tiny head with the back of his finger. The kitten meows again and starts purring, bringing a smile to both men's faces and making Jared feel like they're sharing a quite intimate moment.
He can feel Jensen's body heat, can smell his cologne, and fuck, from this distance he can even probably count the freckles over his nose and cheeks. Jensen continues petting the cat, and at one point he looks up, and Jared's lost once again. He feels the adrenaline rush through his veins and lets out a shaky breath.
"We, um..." he clears his throat. "There's an animal shelter two streets down. We could take him there."
Jensen steps back and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sure. Whatever you want."
The cat lets out another meow at the sudden lack of warmth, and Jared chuckles because he too misses the closeness already. He carefully slips the black kitten into his large jacket pocket, keeping one hand inside to hold it even if it quickly curls up comfortably and starts purring again.
"You've got a thing for animals, then, huh?" Jensen asks him as they resume their walking.
"Yeah, I love them. All my life I've had pets, ever since I can remember. They were strays, mostly, just whatever animal I found on the street. My mother was never too happy about that, but she ended up getting used to it as long as I promised to feed them and clean after them."
He makes a pause because he can feel himself starting to rant again, but Jensen simply lets out a low hum, encouraging to go on.
"After a while, I started adopting them from the shelter near my house. I've got two dogs now, Harley and Sadie, the friendliest dogs you'll ever meet. And I've got a cat, too. Jam. Weird, non-cool name, I know, I just wanted to name him something related to Pearl Jam but I couldn't come up with anything better than that. And he's basically Chad's cat. It's ridiculous, I feed him and clean after him, and yet he completely ignores me."
He looks over at Jensen and finds him smiling almost fondly at him. Jared blushes slightly again and ducks his head. "You'll tell me if I start talking too much, yeah?"
"I'll tell you if it starts bothering me," Jensen replies.
Jared smiles, his stomach feeling a bit weird at the idea of Jensen being interested in what he's saying. "What about you? Got any pets?"
Jensen shakes his head. "Not now. I like animals, and I had a few dogs when I was a kid, but Dani isn't much into pets, and so... eh, I don't know, it's never been the right time for us to have one."
Jensen shrugs and looks down, and Jared doesn't push further on the subject, because by the tone of the other's voice, his girlfriend isn't something he wants to talk about at the moment. Not that Jared wants to talk about her, either. At all.
They reach the shelter, and as Jared starts walking in, he notices Jensen isn't following. "You coming?"
He hesitates slightly. "Nah, I should probably head back," he says, head turning to where they'd come from, then back at Jared. "I should, you know. Fix things."
Jared isn't sure what Jensen's talking about - something isn't all that great with Danneel, he can tell that much - but again, he doesn't ask.
"Alright," he simply says, feeling a bit sad that he has to say goodbye to Jensen already. He's enjoyed talking to him, walking with him, hell, even the few silences here and there made him feel comfortable. He doesn't want to let Jensen leave without knowing he'll see him again. "Listen, um... if you wanted, you could, like... come over some day, and meet my dogs and stuff."
Jensen raises an eyebrow at him, looking amused. "Meet your dogs?"
"I just - you said you liked animals, and maybe... well, I don't know, they make me feel better. Cheer me up, you know? And if you felt like it, um..." Jared trails off when he realizes he's making a fool of himself by assuming that Jensen needs cheering up, and that, if he did, he'd go to Jared. He looks down, rubbing at his cheek against the heat that's colouring it, and shrugs. "I don't know."
But Jensen continues to smile at him. "Sure, sounds like a good idea," he says.
"Yeah? Awesome," Jared says, unable to contain his excitement. "So, you know. Just visit whenever."
Jensen nods his head at him and takes off, and as he reaches the corner, he throws one short glance over his shoulder that makes Jared's entire body shiver, and helps him feel a little less stupid at the fact that he's still standing there, holding the door open, watching him walk away.
Jared gets home that night to find the house empty - except for the dogs and Jam - and all the groceries that Chad apparently bought that day labelled with small, red post-its. A note is on the table, and it reads:
Thanks for making me drive all the way to your job for nothing. Thanks for texting me to let me know you'd walked. Thanks for answering my calls so I could be sure you were ok and hadn't been kidnapped (your mom said you left with some dude, so I'm hoping you're not stupid enough to walk home with a stranger).
Everything in red is mine. You can't eat it.
Went out for dinner and drinks with Zach and the rest of the guys (see, that's what good roommates do, they tell each other where they are!)
Hate,
Chad
Jared shakes his head with a smile and throws the note away. He'd thought of texting Chad to let him know that he was walking back home, but then everything was grins and laughs and green eyes and the thought had just vanished from his mind.
Feeling a bit guilty, he texts Chad to let him know he's alright and sorry, then follows his friend's orders and eats the last portions of some old pizza they have in the fridge. He's a bit tired to go out, so once he feeds the animals and takes a shower, he slumps on the couch in his sweats and gets ready to spend the rest of the evening in front of the TV.
Masterpost | Next