Where to begin ( Read more... )

My skill's immaculate, smackin' those who lackin' it ( Read more... )

I'm going to invite you out to an innocent lunch-date. I'm going to smile at you a lot and go through all the formalities and pleasantries. I'm going to steer the conversation your way and lead you right into talking about yourself for an hour. While I'm smiling warmly at you, I'll be counting down the time, and making my own mentals notes. ( Read more... )

Enter experiences that you normally wouldn't dare to go ( Read more... )

A little late getting to this, things are about to start moving here at work so I gotta make this fast ( Read more... )

I thought I was coping with things pretty well. I was even somewhat proud of myself ( Read more... )

**This update is fucking huge. I didn't intend it to be, but the title fits really well, and I get carried away easily ( Read more... )

So, I'm at work and I can't think of a good way to save this so that it's accessible later. As such, I'm posting this here so I can access it tomorrow night ( Read more... )

So, there's a first. You wrote a comment, and my comment back exceeds the 4400 character comment limit... by ~1200 characters. As such, congratulations on receiving your own side-post! And without any further delay ( Read more... )

This is on the off-chance that Jason actually still reads this from time to time.

"You know, you're pretty smokin' for an older woman"

That's not a pickup line you deuche! You honestly expected results other than what you got? Ahahahahahaha.... hahahaha... hah... ahhhhh.

That made my night. Drunk texts = win.