good *god* my journal is dull and stupid ( Read more... )

have been unable to write in lj, as have been working 6-7 13 hour days a week for a little over a month now. have been in that insomniac nonalive space place for most of that time, and am sure that i am anemic ( Read more... )

the saddest bit is that for all the hoping and visualizing the world crumbling without us, it isn't so ( Read more... )

today ( Read more... )

i had thought at first to leave this scandal inside my head to decay and crumble, that a gust of something real might soon blow it away to the dark corners of all information lost. but as my life would have it, that is no longer an option. it has grown to a vein itch issue, one needing some resolution. i am certain of my assumptions, and much in ( Read more... )

rachel is coming back on tuesday. for good. she is moving to allston. i am efuckinglated. i finally get to meet our lydia. *** oh my god. she'll be in mass for a split second, then off to maine of vermont with her family, then back and here and home and the fiance? elsewhere. touring. i'm sorry, but if i had rachel and a daughter at home, i wouldn' ( Read more... )

( pick a gender, bitch. )

( jarred spinning at chris ballard's 21st birthday )

i miss him most in the summer, in hyannis. walking down main street scanning the crowds for his platinum head, catching glimpses in movements and boy laughs in passing conversations. summer heat wraps sticky humid hands around something in my chest and three moths of nausea set in, seven year old butterflies perched and waiting for sight of him. ( Read more... )

ah the much neglected update page ( Read more... )