-
Complicated
It's complicated,manipulated.Makes me choak like asphixiation.The way im feelin',all over me like condensation.Domination,obliviation.Im on the edge and it's fucking breaking.Ripped up bleeding.Mutilation,cooked and well seasoned. -
If i cared any less I wouldn't care at all.
Sleep....remember me?We used to be palls but you felt the need to move on and leave me all alone here in this fucking abyss.It would be really nice if you payed me a visit every now and then.....fuck.asshole. -
(Untitled)
Life is good.Yes,as bad as it is it is good.It is nice to be a human again,to feel the suffering,the joy the pain the love the anger.I have felt all of these within these last few days.It's cold out.the leaves are dead and dying.Its dark.I have been listening to a lot of Neurosis and Isis type shit.Sludge doom metal shit it just really goes with ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
It has been a real stressfull week.I need God close to me now.I have been thinking alot about drinking and doing dope.I don't want to do this,im not going to do this.But yes I do still think of it,especially at work.My job is stupid.I hate service industry crap.I know "be greatfull","at least you have a job."I require alot of prayer and ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Yesterday the owner of La'au's came in.I heard him yell my name from the back of the building.The way that he yelled I thought something was wrong.I was like "fuck,they found out some dirt.They know im a fucking recovering herion addict and he is about to fire me."Well...that was far from what happened.He asked me if I was a morning person,to ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Joshua G Money graduated last night.Fuckin awesome.I love that guy.He went back to Pueblo to deal with probation.He is on I.S.P. right now but he is trying to get it transfered here.Pueblo is not a good place to be sober ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I had my first full day of work yesterday.It was great.I cut vegetables all day.I forgot how much I really enjoy working with food.It's meditation for me.Chopping,grilling,all of it.It makes me happy.I cout my first resentment towards Erin yesterday.It was dumb.I called her and she told me about some issues that she was having and said that she ( Read more... ) -
Workin' Stiff
It's getting cool out.Im not really prepared.I love fall but the winter in just to much for me.I like to be out side but I hate to be cold.I much prefer the freedoms of warmer climate.I do love fall.The changing colors of the trees.The smell.It's not as nice here in Colorado as it is in TN.There aren't enough trees here.I will also miss these ( Read more... ) -
laaus job 4th step
I got a job today.Yay,job.Full time at La'Aus.Fuckin' nice right.Now I can pay some rent and get some shit that I need....An overnight with a "special someone".It was incerdably easy for me to find a job.I only turned in a total of three aplications.The rirst one landed me an interview at J'J's they want me to work for them but are not sure if the ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Sigh of releif.I kissed Erin Friday.It was scarry as hell but I finally worked up the nerve to do it.The feeling was mutual FUck the period key isn"t working on this keybourd>anyway>it was like finally>the time that i have spent with her since that day has been incredable>
i know we are both doing this for the right reasons>we talked about it>things ( Read more... )