It wasn't fucking fair. Everyone wanted him to think about things, to reconcile incompatible scenarios. If he stayed, he had to become that which he hated, or spend his life frustrated and incomplete. But there was no "if" about it--there was just whether he could get back. And he hadn't gotten back, and wasn't any closer to getting back. He'd ( Read more... )

James did not want to go. He figured it was possible to get out of it--if he cut all ties, found the first ship off this rock, and never saw Tina again.

He knew he wasn't going to do that.

So short of discovering what Vulcans did when vile criminals like him didn't take personal responsibility for their actions, James had to keep his appointment ( Read more... )

Where Tina invited, James went. It was somewhat remarkable, really, that after all that had happened she could so easily suggest another afternoon watching movies. He'd walked out on her after their date, punched her ex without any true repentance, and didn't feel bad at all about what had happened yesterday except that Jim had gotten to share--and ( Read more... )

Private to Tina ChapelTina ( Read more... )

First it had been Nimoy, unexpected and hot and rough and wrong. Then had come Tina, not nearly as unexpected though Jim's presence was primarily confusing for the lack of weight he'd given it at the time. Then there was Pasha, unexpected in a different way and in a sense merely the culmination of her absurd little forays at the theater ( Read more... )

In retrospect, he was embarrassed not to have thought of it first. But he wasn't about to turn down a good idea just because a Spock had offered it, and within days James was ready. He had flyers--the e-kind, sent out with the rest of the Starfleet junkmail, with a picture he'd found on the network that was probably Shatner fighting but he'd put ( Read more... )

James was drunk.

Drunkity drunk drunk, and he liked it. He felt happy. He was happy because he was drunk, and it had been awhile, and now he couldn't remember why that was. Surely drinking was an acceptable pastime. He had seen it engaged in. And obviously he couldn't have gotten drunk in this world without alcohol, which was readily available and ( Read more... )

Tina has been pretty explicit in her poll about ice cream. James did not think it a huge stretch to assume she wanted some rather desperately ( Read more... )

Okay, so by now, someone has probably told you all I'm some sort of impostor. Which is not strictly true. I am James T. Kirk. You can still call me James, if you want to call me anything. Someone has probably also told you I'm either an asshole or evil, or some combination of the two ( Read more... )

"You encouraged her to care about and believe in a man who doesn't exist," she said. "It's not as bad as if you had actually killed her friend, but it's close, James."The first step, James had decided, was to prove to Tina that he was sincere. If he was sincere in his regard for her, in his eagerness to do as she pleased, then his actual sincerity ( Read more... )