i have a new lj account. can you find it?

it seems my mom has ovarian cancer. we found out last week. obviously no one saw this coming. i feel like shit sort of. this morning i had tortured, creepy, sadistic dreams. more than anything i am angry, strange as that may sound.

i'm at the union. a guy in a stocking cap just walked through my fart. pkoo.

sometimes i get really nervous, especially when i am unexpectedly alone. sometimes i forget how to be alone, actually, and other times i like it a lot. it can be easier to be in a group and sitting around and shootin' the shit than to face myself at times. i am a little scared of myself. i feel like a closet fuck-up. not that i'm intentionally ( Read more... )

i produce a slight odor, discharge like ricotta cheese, and an itching sensation. who am i?

a gorgeous man flirted with me today, and then rode away on his bike. i was speachless.

¡goodbye my love! ¡goodbye my spain!

friday, i walked the dark streets like a wraith, consumed entirely by pain, anger, and shame. but by saturday evening, i had made peace with the situation and went to a party with some girl friends and spanish women to be serenaded by and then party with a group of about twenty men dressed in costumes from the 13th century. and sunday, i slept ( Read more... )

i gave blood yesterday, which means my blood will remain here in spain while i return to the us, and that my blood will forever circulate in the veins of europe. my host mom made veal in wine sauce for lunch today. when i go home it will be waiting for me. i know it is stupid, but the idea of eating a baby cow just seems a bit brutal.

my belly seems softer and more pillowy than before. i poke it and it sort of ripples a bit. and i noticed the other night as i was laying in bed very relaxed that it seemed to lay next to me.

my host mom gave my roommate and me striped sweaters with matching scarves for an early christmas present.

there is this lady who walks her two HUGE fluffy white dogs past my school in the morning every day. one of them is the mother of the other and she is sick and old and arthritic. she has a really hard time walking so usually she tries with all her might to lay down, but the woman pulls on her leash and drags her along some days. other days she ( Read more... )