I know Im signed up for Tough Mudder.

But I'm not Mudder material.

Im fat and disgusting.

A weakling.

Beta.

FML.

That describes everything.
My life.
My job.
My family.
My mind.
My heart.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My car's gas tank. (ha.)

Everything. And Nothing.

Nothing.
Thats what I have.
Fuckitol.
Fuck my life.
Fuck my job.
Fuck my family.
Fuck my mind.
Fuck my heart.

Im up at 430 am when i should have been asleep hours ago.... a have a nagging thought passing through my head that just wont go away and its keeping me up.

it seems happiness is not in my future... at least the near future. i hate loneliness..

I was blank earlier today... couldnt feel anything. Happiness, sadness, fear, regret, anger, love, excitement, apathy.... nothing. But now? Now.... I can't feel anything but pain. I'm such an up and down little bitch. I hate it.
FML .... FML right in the ear.

i cant shake the feeling that my life is falling apart.

want to curl up into a ball... and sleep for 1000 years...... or just die.  both sound good.

eyes burning and swollen.  how much longer can this go on?

adj.  1. marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream

My life has turned surreal. I am no longer engaged. wtf.  i guess it happens. better now than later. just hard to deal with. not sure where i am anymore.  happy sad angry alone lethargic apathetic numb torn destroyed confused placid awake lost

everyday is a tsunami of emotion followed by a  ( Read more... )

I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.

Ha.

Yea. Got fucked... and not the good way.