This is the only private journal I really have anymore. Yeah Steve is out with brandan and his brother right now. I really don't trust it but I can't be so controlling either. I hate not being able to trust him but I feel if I just GIVE him my trust I'm setting myself up to be hurt again. He can't possibly hurt me anymore than he already has in our ( Read more... )

Oh man I hate being a girl, I've had the worst cramps all day. It's funny though Steve tried to take care of me but I kept freaking him out. I'm so tired and I don't know if I'm going to school tomorrow. It depends on how tonight goes. I hate when melo is down. I'm suddenly becoming jealous. I don't know why or if it is good or bad. Yeah well the ( Read more... )

My birthday was awesome. My friends never seize to amaze me. I had tons of flowers and even more balloons. It was awesome, I couldn't have asked for more. After school I went home and got ready. Michelle and Dani came over and we got ready to go to Coyote Ugly. We drive all the way to Riverside in traffic and it wasn't a restaurant as the radio had ( Read more... )

Merry Christmas everyone! Mine was cool. My main gifts were my stereo and speakers for my car and my tinted windows. But I've been in a relatively good mood anyways so that's good. My parents said after the first of the year we'll get a new computer. But if you know anything about my family then we all know that doesn't mean anything. But I fixed ( Read more... )

Hmm friday night went to justin's. Saturday-went to justin's. Today I went to the mall cause my mom asked me to pick her up some concealer and hairspray. Well she gave me 80 bucks and concealer is 15 and hairspray is 10 so I did some xmas shopping with the rest. I thought I was supposed to seeing as how she gave me that much extra. well sorry there ( Read more... )

Kaycee fell asleep with my brother last night but woke up at 12 and he brought her to me freaking out saying she's sick. Well duh she's been sick but she had a fever of 101 so I gave her tylenol and put her to sleep. So this morning it got high and my dad took her to the hospital and it was 104.5. They said she had an upper respiratory infection ( Read more... )

So yeah recently people have asked me if I miss Steve and such and well yeah of course I do. But the night after I heard all of this I had a dream. It was us but older and I think it just assured me that I had made the right choice. After school I had to fly to pick Kaycee up from school then back to cheer practice. So Kaycee chilled while we ( Read more... )

Today I just chilled and watched movies and got starbucks. Later I went to the mall with my mom. Mistake. Grr I hate dealing with people, I hate how she goes shopping this close to christmas. It just really puts me in a bad mood. I already feel like shit and I don't know why. So everything to me is just shit right now....I just wanna scream.

Last night me and mich and fran and justin went to see Honey. It was alright, but really not enough dancing and way too predictable. Today, Me and Kaycee went to the mall and took pictures with Santa. Ah, she's so beautiful. Anyways, I'm really bored. Mich just called me and I guess tonight we're going to drive to the mountains. So yeah hopefully ( Read more... )

Well I've been sick for a while and yesterday I had to practice which made it alot worse. Yeah it sucks but oh well competition season is well competitive and we are no where near ready. So today I stayed home but I woke up at 6:30 cause I fell asleep at 7. It's really boring here, my internet broken still and I can't find the controller to the TV ( Read more... )