Dear Abby...

Dec 04, 2011 20:25

the advice column meme


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ninja death cult, meme, ali is matt murdock in drag

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Comments 372

ebony_mask December 5 2011, 01:26:52 UTC
ebony_mask December 5 2011, 01:34:12 UTC
Dear BM,

I think I have a skin condition. What moisturizer do you use for yours?

Thanks,
Not-Rosatia

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ebony_mask December 5 2011, 01:38:37 UTC
Dear Not-Rosatia,

Believe it or not, I don't actually use anything. Let's face it: this face ain't getting any better. After The Accident, however, if I had had access to a good medical team and Vitamin E treatments, I'm sure I would still have my nose. Unfortunately, humane treatment of its inmates is not a priority at Arkham.

Best of luck,
Black Mask

PS I think you mean "rosacea".

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ebony_mask December 5 2011, 01:38:44 UTC
Mr. Sionis,

I have a fear of rabid raccoons. Is this entirely irrational?

- Curious.

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insineration December 5 2011, 01:26:53 UTC
oh fuck

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insineration December 5 2011, 01:33:18 UTC
Dear Lust Abby Lust?? whomever it may concern:

I think my archenemy is bored me with. With any other enemy, this would be fine as they would be out of my hair, as it were, but now I'm so obsessed with her him that I can't stop myself from craving the negative attention. I'm not sure what happened, but I am desperate for a way to rekindle the fire that used to exist between us.

Thank you for your time,
Lonely and Left Out

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insineration December 5 2011, 01:45:30 UTC
Dear LaLO,

If you have any skill at all, it shouldn't take a sweeping gesture to convince them you're still a threat worth hating. Do the same thing they're doing to you; play hard to get and focus on other pasttimes. Your enemy may play at being glad when you act disinterested, but the idea that you're operating on your own, without them to stop you, will eat at them. Before you know it they'll be tracking you down to find out what you're doing. If that's not enough, take advantage of their apparent disinterest to execute a plan you know will horrify them. They'll be all the guiltier that they weren't close enough to you to stop it.

And be less obvious, Mr. Sionis.

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ebony_mask December 5 2011, 02:08:27 UTC
Dammit, was I that obvious?

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mansansfear December 5 2011, 01:26:54 UTC
worst advice ever

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seeingeyespit December 5 2011, 02:28:32 UTC
What should a totally rad chick get for her most awesome, uh, adult human custodian in order to celebrate a semi-religious holiday??

[yeah just pretend this is anonymous or something it's not like she isn't being totally transparent anyway]

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molecularity December 5 2011, 01:26:55 UTC
molecularity December 5 2011, 02:52:10 UTC
Gwen,

I am having trouble relating to people. Is there anything I can do differently to change their perceptions of me as strange, without compromising my integrity?

- Neuro-atypical

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molecularity December 5 2011, 02:59:04 UTC
Neuro-atypical,

No. But fuck them. Be yourself. Anyone who doesn't like that isn't worth your time.

- Gwen

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technophantom December 5 2011, 03:18:42 UTC
Heh. I appreciate your candid response, Gwen.

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rock_it_punch December 5 2011, 01:27:04 UTC
Santo was made for this meme

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