i convince myself over and over again that i don't purposely hurt other people as retaliation of me getting hurt.

maybe its no longer worth convincing...

ever since i met you,
i can't stop thinking about you.
pretty damn good impression you had on me.
thanks for that.
don't forget about me?

my friends see it.
i see it too.
all for a good cause.

dara,
thank you for making me believe again.
thank you for your insight. just in 4 hours.
i'm glad we connect.

i want to feel passion again.
every attempt i parttake in, it's not there.

el,
i dont want to have doubts. but i cant help it. i'm not naive.

why does it still sting when we 'talk'. who knows? will i ever know? i wish i could bury it. 6 feet under. and have it never come back up.

haiku inspiration?

Stinger

when a stinger hits the skin,
how long will it stay?
only time will tell.

...of not being wanted is especially shitty.

things are looking up.
clearly on my way to true happiness :)

kaleo,
i've determined you are hopeless. you fit in perfectly with all the rest of the california flakes. thats cool that you still think of me every once in a while i guess...
"cuz you are special like the moment we shared on the sand...but a simple moment left a mark on me".

lost cause.

a counselor. an actual one.

i can't deal with this on my own. i'm not ok. i haven't been since february. i want to get better. i want things to get better.