Fan(tastic) Baby [2/2] [for xfragments]
one | part two
It’s been three months since Jackson started talking to Jaebum-like real, actual talking-and he still can’t believe it’s not a figment of his imagination. When he wakes up in the morning, he pulls up LINE on his phone to prove that the lingering memories he has of the two of them messaging commentary of a late-night drama were made up remnants of a dream, only to see the chat complete with timestamps.
‘why don’t these characters ever just talk to each other properly??? he should just tell her that the other girl is a childhood friend and he was just pretending to be her boyfriend to protect her from a pushy ex.’
‘Hmmm well maybe that’s what you would do, but people react to things differently.’
‘you mean the writers are hacks who couldn’t think of any other way to keep the leads apart for 2 more episodes before the climax :p’
‘ㅋㅋㅋshut up, it’s one of those things you just learn to accept with the genre’
As much as he admired Jaebum, he never went as far as to deify the man, but it’s kind of weird to think of him as a regular guy who has a penchant for badly-written romance dramas. It’s nothing less than amazing that Jackson has got the opportunity to be able to find out these little details about him, the random and insignificant things that make up Im Jaebum the person-the things he doesn’t show on stage or in variety shows or interviews. Jackson is eating breakfast when his phone pings with a LINE alert from the devil himself.
‘Hey, are you free today?’
Jackson’s heart skips a beat, but he forces himself to take deep breaths as he types his response. ‘yeah, i am. why do you ask?’
‘Well we have half the day off today and Jinyoung suggested that you come over to the dorm to hang out later.’ Jackson chokes, thumping on his chest as his cereal goes down the wrong pipe. ‘…It’s cool if you don’t want to though.’
“If I don’t want-Are you fucking kidding me?!” Jackson exclaims as he leaps to his feet. He takes a couple of calming breaths. ‘no it’s cool (✿◠‿◠) sounds like fun~’
‘Good ^^’
Jaebum sends him their address, and Jackson once again can’t believe that this is actually happening. He’s entertained fantasies of hanging out with J-Project before - watching South Korea play in the World Cup, going out drinking, or just playing video games - but now it’s actually his reality!
An hour later, Jackson checks his messages making sure he’s got the right floor and door number before he presses the buzzer. A few seconds later, Youngjae’s face pops up on the video intercom. “Hey, it’s me. Jackson, that is,” Jackson waves nervously.
Youngjae laughs with his mouth wide open. “I know who you are,” he grins before he pushes the button that opens the door. Jackson pauses for a moment before he steps into the entryway, kicking off his shoes.
“Oh wow, are you getting taller? You look taller,” Jackson exclaims as he moves his hand between his and Youngjae’s foreheads. “That’s not fair,” he moans as Youngjae starts laughing again.
“Youngjae, I need you,” Jinyoung’s voice drifts out from another room; Youngjae jogs away. Jackson follows after him, stopping when he gets to the living room.
“Is Jackson here?” Jaebum asks as he comes out of a side room, presumably his bedroom. Jackson sucks in a breath, bowled over at the sight of Jaebum in grey sweatpants and a thin white t-shirt, his recently bleached hair artfully tousled. Jackson swallows. Either he’s got it worse than he originally thought or Jaebum is more effortlessly good-looking than he thought because he usually doesn’t dig blond hair on guys, but he thinks Jaebum looks amazing with it. “Hey,” Jaebum smiles as he crosses the room.
“Hey,” Jackson breathes in reply. Just before he gets within arm’s reach, Jackson has a miniature freak-out. How should he greet him? Is he allowed to hug him or should he shake his hand or would that be too formal? Jaebum solves his dilemma by opening his arms. Jackson practically jumps into them, knocking Jaebum two steps back as he wraps his arms around the other man.
“Haha, whoops,” Jackson giggles nervously into Jaebum’s shoulder, rubbing Jaebum’s back.
“I’m happy to see you too,” Jaebum chuckles lowly into Jackson’s ear and Jackson has to suppress a shiver. He holds onto Jaebum for just a little bit too long before he finally makes himself pull away.
“So, this is your dorm?” Jackson asks as he twirls around the living room, taking everything in. It’s both strange and comforting how similar it is to his and Mark’s own living room. The only major difference is the collection of framed photos on the mantle of the fireplace. Jackson recognises some of them as individual from their pre-debut profiles and group photos from their debut and comeback.
“It’s pretty ordinary isn’t it?” Youngjae calls out from the kitchen.
“I guess, but that’s not like that’s a bad thing. You’re humans too; it’d just be weird if you had, like, a swimming pool in your living room or whatever,” Jackson shrugs. Jaebum chuckles, his eyes forming crescent moons, and Jackson will never get over the fact that he gets to cause that expression, that he gets to see it directed solely at him.
“The kimbap is ready,” Jinyoung announces as he walks in with a plate of food and sets on the low table in the living room. Youngjae follows behind him with four bottles of juice clutched in his hands. Jackson waits for all of them to pick on up before he takes one and pops it in his mouth.
“It’s good, but we don’t have any kimchi or danmuji to go with it?” Jaebum says around a mouthful of food.
“I don’t see how that’s a problem, honestly,” Jackson says as he pops another roll into his mouth, trying not to choke when Jaebum swats his chest with the back of his hand.
“I guess a foreigner like you wouldn’t understand,” Jaebum rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile on ehis face.
Jinyoung rubs his chin thoughtfully. “You know, I think we just ran out. I should go get some from the convenience store,” he claps and eases himself to his feet. “Come on, Youngjae,” Jinyoung taps the youngest member on the head.
“Wait, why do I have to go too?” Youngjae pouts as he pops a roll in his mouth.
“I may as well get some other stuff we need while I’m there and I could use an extra pair of hands to help me carry the bags of course.”
“Shouldn’t we just call Noyoung-hyung?” Youngjae asks, looking reluctant to go anywhere.
“Now, now, we’re big boys; we shouldn’t rely on him for every little thing. Come on,” Jinyoung pulls the younger boy to his feet and pushes him towards the front door. “You two take it easy, we’ll be right back,” Jinyoung says with a wink.
Jaebum’s eyes widen. “Wait, Jinyoung, you-”
“Bye,” he calls out before the door closes behind him. Jaebum shakes his head with a sigh. Jackson doesn’t understand why he looks so exasperated, so he just keeps eating.
“So, you called me here to hang out, what are we gonna do? I know your recent comeback and upcoming debut in Japan has kept you busy, but surely you must have a little bit of downtime every now and then. What do you guys like to do for fun?” Jackson asks, licking some stray grains of rice off his fingers.
“We, um, well, we do different things. Jinyoung is a secret bookworm who is addicted to American police procedural dramas; Youngjae falls asleep if he hasn’t been in motion for fifteen minutes and he sings even then; as for me, well, I use any free time I have to compose songs,” Jaebum runs his hands over his thighs.
“Oh really?” Jackson leans forward in interest.
“Uh, yeah. One of them is actually going to be translated into Japanese and used as the b-side for our Japan debut,” Jaebum says with a hint of pride.
“That’s so cool, I bet it sounds great!”
“You can’t say that if you haven’t even heard it,” Jaebum says, laughing a bit shyly and scratching behind his ear.
“Could I listen to it?” Jackson asks with wide eyes, clasping his hands in front of his body. Jaebum narrows his eyes. “Pleeeeaaase,” Jackson sidles up closer to him on the sofa, pushing out his bottom lip and fluttering his eyelashes.
Jaebum stares at him for a moment before he looks away. “Sure, why not? I’ll let you listen to the original Korean demo,” he says with a shrug.
“Yes! Thank you,” Jackson grins.
Jaebum shakes his head fondly. “I’ll be right back,” he says before he gets up and heads back to his bedroom, bringing a laptop with him. Jackson bites his lips in a bid to hold back a squeal, but he can’t stop himself from wriggling in his seat in anticipation. “Don’t look so excited about it. If you over hype it, you might end up disappointed,” Jaebum says a bit sheepishly before he plays the song.
Jackson is initially a bit surprised at what starts playing through the speakers; it’s a completely different sound than what’s been featured on their mini albums so far. It’s certainly not a bad surprise though. Jackson enjoys the song’s electric beat and hip-hop colour and finds himself nodding his head and tapping his feet.
“You like it?” Jackson jumps at the sensation of Jaebum’s breath tickling his ears, the hair on their arms brushing against each other. When did they end up sitting so close together?
“Uh, yeah, it sounds great,” Jackson blinks owlishly. At this distance, he can see the indentations of Jaebum’s contact lenses on his eyes. “What’s it called?”
Jaebum opens his mouth to reply and Jackson’s gaze unconsciously flits down. He watches as a pink tongue slips out and wets both of Jaebum’s lips before it retreats back into its home. Jackson’s breathing accelerates when a hand reaches out and takes him by the chin, tilting his head up to meet Jaebum’s eyes. His thumb slowly strokes the space underneath Jackson’s bottom lip and suddenly Jackson can’t breathe at all. “…Bad Behaviour,” Jaebum whispers before he tilts his head and leans forward. Jackson’s eyes widen even more before they fall shut. Jackson’s dreamed of this a couple (dozen) times, but his fantasy is nothing compared to the reality. As Jaebum sucks his lower lip into his mouth, Jackson feels as though his body on the brink of dissolving into stardust; Jaebum’s hands clutching his waist and cupping his cheek are the only things keeping him corporeal. When Jaebum parts Jackson’s lips with his tongue Jackson can’t help the moan that escapes him. He’s left with his head spinning as Jaebum abruptly pulls away.
“Sorry, I-forgive me, I shouldn’t have done that,” Jaebum stammers from the other end of the sofa, a hand covering his mouth, his shoulders trembling.
Jackson struggles to find his voice, but only manages a sliver of it. “I didn’t mind,” he breathes.
“I still shouldn’t have done it,” Jaebum buries his face his hands before he runs them through his hair. Jackson feels his stomach drop. “I shouldn’t have these feelings at all…”
It’s not as though Jackson walked around with a rainbow flag stuck in his back pocket when he lived in Hong Kong, but all his friends and family-i.e. everyone who mattered to him-knew he liked guys and they never made him feel like a lesser being because of it. He thought he knew how lucky he was to have such a great support system, but he doesn’t realise just how wrong he was-just how lucky he is-until he sees the internal conflict playing out on Jaebum’s face. Jackson has his insecurities, as much as he tries to pretend he doesn’t, but he’s never felt even half as revolted with himself as Jaebum looks now.
“Hey, do you-If you want I could-I mean-” Jackson tries to find the words to salvage the situation, but they just won’t come.
“It’s kind of funny isn’t? How you can come here and hang out-spend the night if you wanted-and no-one would think anything of it if they found out. Hell, I could hold your hand or put my arm around you in public and people would probably think it was cute and harmless-right up until I reveal that I’m gay. Then, all that previously normal behaviour becomes abnormal and wrong,” Jaebum smiles bitterly. Jackson wrings his hands, still trying to think of something to say.
“Jinyoung and Youngjae would have a difficult time trying to hide a girlfriend if they wanted to date, and it’s so much easier for me to hide in plain sight, but I’d have so much more to lose if I got found out,” Jaebum buries his face in his hands again. Jackson can only gape like a fish, frozen in his seat as the older man’s shoulders start to shake.
“Sorry for dumping this on you,” Jaebum sighs as he sits up, his eyes looking mercifully dry. Jackson shrugs awkwardly, swallowing the half-formed apology sitting heavily on the back of his tongue. “I like you, I really do, but I’ve put in three years of hard work just to get to the starting point that I’m currently at. Plus I’m the leader of J-Project; the survival and success of the group depends on my actions. I’m carrying not just my own dreams, but also Jinyoung and Youngjae’s dreams on my back. So, I’m sorry, but I just can’t. I apologise for giving you the wrong idea.” Jackson swallows the lump in his throat as he nods.
“Right, well, should I just-?” Jackson blinks hard as he waves a shaky hand toward the front door, half standing out of his seat.
“Wait!” Jaebum jumps forward and grabs Jackson by the arm. For the second time in five minutes, Jackson’s heart leaps into his throat. “It’s probably selfish of me, but I still want us to be friends. I promise that I won’t-that I won’t misbehave like that again.” Jackson nods mutely, swallowing hard and blinking even harder. “Thank you,” Jaebum breathes.
The instant that Jaebum lets him go, Jackson rushes to the entryway, hastily jumping into his shoes before e flies out the door. He ignores the elevator, instead running down all fourteen flights of stairs. By the time he makes it to the second floor there’s a stitch forming in his side and his knee is on fire, but he ignores that too. Once he gets outside he hobbles as quickly as his feet will allow him, blind to everything but the dark grey of the pavement. He mumbles an apology as he bumps into a small group of high school kids and he nearly gets run over by a taxi as he crosses the street. He finally comes to a stop at the entrance to the train station, doubled over and catching his breath as late-morning commuters push past him. His head is still spinning, but he’s calmed down just enough to actually have a destination in mind.
“Hey, Jackson, how did your date go?” Mark asks suggestively before he fully opens the door and gets a good look at Jackson’s face. “Oh God, what happened?”
Jackson doesn’t even try to explain himself, the words trapped in his throat. Instead he lunges forward, latching onto Mark and burying his face in his best friend’s neck right as the dam he had been holding back all this time finally bursts. Mark stumbles back, tripping over his feet, sending the both of them crashing down to the ground. Jackson’s elbow is flaring in pain from where it knocked against the shoe cupboard and he’s going to have to do shitload of extra stretches to soothe his bad knee, but he ignores that right now, holding fast to Mark.
“It’s alright, I’m here,” Mark whispers soothingly. He might very well have gotten a concussion from the way he banged his head against the floor, but he just returns the hug, rubbing calming circles into Jackson’s shaking back. “It’ll be alright.”
Jaebum’s hectic schedule always kept him too busy for him and Jackson to chat very regularly, but after the…incident, they become even more sporadic. Although their words remain civil, there’s this unshakeable atmosphere of awkwardness that hangs over all of their subsequent conversations like a rain cloud.
‘hey how have the shows in japan been?’
‘They’re going really well. I’m surprised that so many people are coming.’
‘it’s good that your fan base is expanding’
‘Yeah.’
There is such a noticeable difference in the exchanges they used to have compared with the ones they have now that Jackson almost can’t believe the previous ones actually happened. Before he goes to bed, Jackson rereads them before he closes his eyes and relives the easy way they used to banter.
‘i’ll never get why the asshole always ends up with the female lead when there’s a perfectly decent, if boring, other guy for her.’
‘Everyone has their flaws, and he’s not as much of a dick as he used to be, so progress?’
‘ugh and why are these kisses always so awkward and lifeless? are the actors still not comfortable with each other after how many weeks of filming???’
‘Oh come on, this one isn’t so bad…They moved their lips a little bit…I think.’
‘why does she even still want him? last episode, he proposed to another girl to make her jealous. he’s such an obnoxious dick. not at all like you~ ^.~’
‘>//< shut up ㅋㅋㅋ’
The season changes and J-Project is wrapping up their promotional activities until their next comeback, which is tentatively scheduled for next spring. For the first time in a long time, Jaebum has quite a bit of free time, but now Jackson is the busy one, spending most of his days with his face buried inside text books and notes. Exams are coming up and he’s determined to do well. If he can’t be a fencer anymore and if his relationship with Jaebum is permanently damaged, then he at least needs his academics to be on point. He’s frustrated right now because was making good progress through the chapters before, but now it’s like he’s stalled. As he blinks and rolls his eyes, Jackson wonders if his astigmatism is getting worse because the words on the page just keep blurring in and out of focus. Throwing down his pen with a frustrated sigh, Jackson gets up and heads to the kitchen; maybe if he eats a snack he’ll be able to settle down long enough to get something done. His phone pings with a LINE message as he’s boiling a pot of water for ramyeon. It’s Mark.
‘Dude, did you hear about what happened to jb???’ Jackson feels like he’s fallen through thin ice.
‘no what happened???’
‘A bus crashed into his company’s van while he and some staff were inside :o’
Jackson drops his phone. He stares at it for a moment- frozen -before he scrambles to pick it up from the floor and opens the Twitter app. Sure enough, at least half of his timeline is expressing concern over Jaebum’s well-being and tweeting get well messages. Well, shit. ‘is he ok????’
‘Reports are saying that it wasn’t serious but apparently he was taken to the hospital :/’
Jackson jumps at the sounds of hissing and he looks up to see the water boiling over in the pot. He quickly shoves his phone in his pocket and turns off the fire, pouring the remaining water into the sink. Once he’s sure his kitchen isn’t going to burn down, he pulls out his phone and types out another message. ‘jaebum, i just heard about the accident. are you alright???’ Things have been awkward between them for weeks, but he doesn’t hesitate to message him now. The response comes almost instantly.
‘I’m fine. My leg got cut but that’s it. I got it cleaned and bandaged at the hospital and was discharged immediately. I’ll be dancing again in no time!’
Jackson sighs in relief. ‘that’s good to hear i was so worried…’ It takes about a minute for the next response to come in, and in that sixty second period, Jackson bites his lip, wondering if he misspoke. When the response finally comes in, he blinks in surprise.
‘Would you come and see me?’
Jackson doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. ‘yeah, sure when would be a good time?’
‘How about now? At the dorm.’
Jackson glances through the entryway to the living room at the pile of books he still has to read, thinking of all the work he still needs to get done. ‘i’m on my way’
Some thirty seven minutes later, Jackson finds himself standing at Jaebum’s front door. He brushes some imaginary dirty off his shirt before he presses the buzzer, requesting to be let in. Jinyoung’s face appears on the screen. “Uh, hey it’s Jackson. Jaebum invited me over,” Jackson runs his slightly clammy hands over the front of his hoodie.
“Oh, did he?” The glint in Jinyoung’s eyes is unmistakable, even on the small, slightly pixelated screen. “Come on in, then.”
“Thanks, where’s Jaebum?” Jackson asks as soon as the door opens.
“He’s in his room. Come on, I’ll lead you there,” Jinyoung says, taking Jackson by the arm and pulling him along.
“Shouldn’t I just wait in the living room?” Jackson protests, but doesn’t actually try to remove his arm from Jinyoung’s grasp or stop him in his tracks.
A few seconds later, the two of them are right in front of Jaebum’s door. Jinyoung knocks. “Hyung, your visitor is here,” he calls out before he pushes the door open. Jaebum is reclining on his bed in nothing but a white tank top and grey boxer shorts. Jackson stops short at the sight, equally affected by Jaebum’s state of dress and the angry-looking scar on his thigh, but Jinyoung nudges him further inside before he exits the room and closes the door behind him.
“Oh, hi,” Jaebum says a bit sheepishly, his cheeks colouring as he pulls the covers over his legs.
“Hey,” Jackson waves, hovering by the door. He was so set on coming here to check up on Jaebum, but now that he’s arrived, he doesn’t know what to say or do.
“You can have a seat,” Jaebum gestures to his bed. Jackson hesitates before he crawls forward and lightly rests by the end.
“That looks it’s pretty painful,” Jackson says, waving one hand in the general direction of Jaebum’s lower body, the other hand rubbing his knee in sympathy.
“Uh, yeah it did-does-hurt, but I’ll survive, probably without any real lasting damage too,” Jaebum shrugs.
“I’m glad,” Jackson nods, unable to look Jaebum in the eye for more than two seconds at a time. “I was shocked when I saw my Twitter feed fretting over your safety,” Jackson rubs the back of his neck.
“Look, Jackson, there’s-there’s a reason I asked you to come here. It’s…I’ve been thinking and…” Jaebum trails of before he slowly pushes himself up on his arms and slides his body forward, wincing all the way.
“Hey, stop, you really shouldn’t be moving around like that,” Jackson frowns, reaching out to hold Jaebum by the shoulders. He blinks in surprise when Jaebum takes his hand and laces their fingers together. “What? Why are you...?” Jackson asks through trembling lips, his eyes widening as Jaebum rubs the pad of his thumb over the back of Jackson’s hand.
“Didn’t you know? Brushes with death can make people re-evaluate their life choices,” Jaebum says with an ironic smile. “When I was being moved to the hospital, you were the only thing on my mind. As corny as it sounds, after the shock of the collision wore off all I could think of was how I much I wish I hadn’t stopped kissing you when I had the chance,” Jaebum snorts lightly, shaking his head at himself.
“Oh,” Jackson breathes, his fingers squeezing Jaebum’s.
“And now that I have the chance again…” Jackson’s eyes widen even more when Jaebum lifts his other hand to the back of Jackson’s neck, applying light pressure. Jackson all but falls into Jaebum’s lap, their noses awkwardly pressed together as Jackson’s lips land on Jaebum’s. Despite that, this kiss is even better than the last one because Jaebum doesn’t pull away, except to better reposition their faces. Jackson’s hands fist themselves in Jaebum’s shirt at his side, then his shoulders, before they make their final resting place in Jaebum’s blond locks. When Jaebum slips his tongue into Jackson’s mouth, Jackson instinctively shifts forward to be as close to Jaebum as is physically possible. “Ah, shit,” Jaebum hisses, his head thrown back with eyes clenched shut.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Jackson gasps as he eases himself off Jaebum’s injured leg before he throws back the covers to inspect it for damage. Thankfully, Jaebum’s wound isn’t bleeding. “I’m really, really sorry,” Jackson repeats, biting his lip. Jaebum takes several deep breaths before he finally responds.
“It’s okay,” he says, taking hold of Jackson’s hand again. “Let’s just… take it easy, yeah?” Jackson has a feeling that he’s talking about more than just his injury.
“Yeah,” he nods. Jaebum’s lips quirk up and he pulls Jackson in for another kiss.
Jackson’s been singing at the top of his voice for the past two hours, but he gets even louder when the opening beats to ‘Bounce’ starts playing. He’s not the only one, the rest of the audience goes wild and he swears he can feel the earth shake when they get to the chorus and everyone starts jumping. He glances to his right, a laugh escaping his lips at the sight of Mark singing and jumping along with gusto. Jackson doesn’t know why he still insists on pretending that he isn’t a huge fan, but he’s going to rib the hell out of him when he gets his voice back.
On the other side of the stage, Jinyoung leans into the audience and plucks something from the hands of a fan before he runs up behind Youngjae, who is jumping around gleefully. Jinyoung spins the younger man around and plonks a pair of cat ears on his head, and gestures for him to do some ageyo for the crowd. Youngjae pouts before he complies, bbuing bbuing and shaking his ass with the beat.
As Jackson is laughing at that, Jaebum passes by his section of the crowd. Jackson jumps and holds up the banner he made of the Hong Kong flag, waving it wildly to attract Jaebum’s attention. Just when Jackson thinks the other man missed him, Jaebum does a double take and waves in his direction, a bright grin lighting his face. He then leans over and grabs a camera from a fan standing right in front of Jackson to take a selca, throwing Jackson a wink.
“Oh my God, I think JB winked just at you!” Mark shouts with his hands cupping his own face.
“Oh my God, he totally did!” Jackson gasps with his hands over his mouth, before he dissolves into giggles. He’s overplaying it, but a genuine thrill of excitement did run through him just now.
After ‘Bounce’ comes to a close, all three members of J-Project head back to the middle of the stage amidst a cacophony of cheers and applause. “Everyone, as our very first solo concert comes to a close, the three of us would like to say something,” Jaebum says, slightly out of breath and dripping sweat. As Youngjae prepares to speak, the instrumental to ‘Forever Young’ starts to play.
“Hello, everyone, this is the lovable maknae, Choi Youngjae. This first solo concert show was absolutely amazing! I can’t believe that I get to stand up here and sing with all of you. This is truly a dream come true. I love you!” Youngjae makes a heart with his hands and bows.
“Hello, this is the multitalented dancer, rapper, vocalist and actor, Park Jinyoung! Thank you for coming out tonight and making our first solo concert show such an exciting one. We hope to improve and put on even better shows in the future, so please continue to stay with us. We love you!” Jinyoung blows the cheering crowd a kiss before he bows.
“Everyone, as the leader of J-Project I’d like to thank you all for being with us all this time. Your love and support over the past three and a half years are the reason that Youngjae, Jinyoung and I are able to stand on this stage. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you,” Jaebum bows to loud cheer from the crowd. When Jaebum straightens, his eyes scan the sea of light sticks and banners until they settle right by where Jackson is standing and he smiles. “We’ve gone through a lot to get to this point, you and I, and I hope that we can continue like this for as long as possible. I love you.”
The audience once again erupts into deafening screams, but Jackson can hardly hear anything through the warm bubble that seems to have engulfed him. He grins so hard his cheeks start to ache as he screams, “I love you too!” indifferent to the fact that Jaebum can’t hear him right now. Beside him Mark is beaming and patting him on the shoulder.
“Please sing with us as we close with a song that represents J-Project’s desire to continue with you, our fans. It’s ‘Forever Young’!”
Jackson sways from side to side as Jinyoung starts to rap in a sweet, low voice. Mark does the same, miming turning on a lighter and holding it up; Jackson chuckles and copies him. As the adrenaline that had built up in his blood from the previous song slowly wears off, Jackson takes in the scene before him, his heart swelling. He always knew that JP would do well, and he feels so proud of them for selling out their first solo show, feels so happy that he became their fan and met Jaebum. If Jackson was surprised at Jaebum’s little address to him just before the closing song, then he’s gob smacked when the older man makes his way to Jackson’s section again and kneels down before he sings his next part.
“Forever young you and I, just as we are/Forever young even if time passes by/Forever young woo baby/Woo woo baby woo woo baby/Forever you’re my shawty,”Jaebum extends a hand, pointing a finger at Jackson. About half a dozen teen girls around him will leave the concert hall swearing that Jaebum was singing it to them, but Jackson knows different. It’s the closest thing to a public confession that Jaebum will ever make, and it takes Jackson’s breath away because he knows the older man means every word.
“So which passing spirit jumped into you and made you act so bold on stage tonight?” Jackson asks a few hours later in Jaebum’s bed, wrapped up in the other man’s arms.
“I suppose I was overwhelmed by the emotions practically poring out of the audience, and the feeling of accomplishment for finishing our first solo concert. I wish I could call you by name and pull you up on stage, but that’s the best I can do,” Jaebum says apologetically, his cheek nuzzling Jackson’s hair.
Jackson leans up to give Jaebum a peck on the lips. “Well, I appreciate the thought behind it. It was very adequate,” he nods.
“Adequate? I think me pouring my heart out in front of thousands of people was a bit more than adequate,” Jaebum growls, pushing Jackson onto his back and straddling his waist.
Jackson suppresses a grin. “Okay, it was satisfactory,” Jackson says with feigned consideration. He then bursts into giggles as Jaebum attacks his sides with his fingers.
“You talk too much, I ought to shut you up,” Jaebum declares before he covers Jackson’s lips with his own, Jackson’s laughter petering off and turning into moans as Jaebum grinds their naked pelvises together and slips two fingers back inside Jackson’s entrance.
“Come on, hurry up, I’m good to go,” Jackson whines as he arches his back. Jaebum sits up and pins Jackson’s arms above his head.
“Behave. Don’t move,” Jaebum says sternly. Jackson pouts, but he lies still. Jaebum reaches over the end of the bed and retrieves the bottle of lube from the floor before he squirts some more into his palm and coats his cock with it. “D’you mind being on top this time?” Jaebum asks, lightly slapping Jackson’s thigh.
Jackson frowns in concern. “Are you having a flare up?” Jackson reaches for the scar on Jaebum’s thigh and lightly traces it.
Jaebum winces slightly. “Hmmm it’s kinda getting there, but I’m fine really.” Jackson remains unmoving, he knows from personal experience how ill-advised it is to overwork an already injured leg. “No, seriously, and look at it this way, you’d be giving me something wonderful to focus on.”
Jackson puffs out his cheeks, holding a breath in for a moment before he releases it. “Alright, but tell me if I overdo it,” Jackson concedes as he straddles the older man. Jaebum smiles and tucks Jackson’s hair behind his ears. Jackson holds the base of Jaebum’s cock as he lowers himself onto it, hissing in pleasure as he slowly sinks down. Using Jaebum’s shoulders to steady himself, Jackson starts bouncing in his lap and rolling his hips in earnest.
“Ah, lean back a bit.” Jaebum pants. With some space between them, Jaebum wraps his hand around Jackson’s cock, his other hand holding Jackson firmly by the hip. He makes sure to squeeze the shaft and twists his wrist as he pumps it-just the way Jackson likes it-increasing his pace as Jackson’s bouncing becomes more and more erratic.
“Ah, hyung, I’m gonna-!” Jackson pants before a stream of white fluid paints Jaebum’s chest. It’s not long before Jaebum is also shuddering and releasing his load into Jackson. Jackson collapses on his side. “Jae, I know your thigh is probably hurting but can you get the flannel this time? I’m all fucked out,” he mumbles.
Jaebum rolls his eyes, but he complies with Jackson’s request. Jackson shifts his leg to allow Jaebum better access to move and to wipe him down. “You know, even though we both agreed not to bother with condoms anymore, I do miss the easy clean-up.”
“Who’s this ‘we’? You were the one who insisted we stop using rubbers,” Jaebum points out, running the flannel over Jackson’s abdomen.
Jackson arches up into the touch. “And you give me whatever I want, ergo ‘we’,” he says around a yawn. Jaebum rolls his eyes again. After he’s finished cleaning them both up, he lies down behind Jackson, throwing an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to the back of Jackson’s neck before he settles down to sleep. Jackson’s eyes drift shut as he listens to the deep, even breaths of the man behind him.
“It was amazing. I loved it,” Jackson whispers into the sheets just before he’s lulled to sleep. For a second he wonders if Jaebum is awake to hear the words and knows what they mean, but then the arm around his waist tightens and pulls him a little closer to Jaebum.
one | part two
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