I kind of want to be more than friends (with benefits) [1/2] [for nekowrites]
For: nekowrites
Title: I kind of want to be more than friends(with benefits)
Pairing(s)/focus: JB/Jackson
Rating: Hard R/NC-17
Word count: 13,217
Warnings: None
Author's notes: I originally started writing another of your prompts before switching to this one so that one might be coming in the future. Hope this is okay and that you have a great new year. :)
Summary: Jaebum doesn’t know what he wants, Jackson can’t read minds and all Jinyoung wants to do is be able to read past page twelve in his latest book.
part one | two
The whole thing had been rather anticlimactic.
Looking back on it, Jaebum wasn’t all too sure as to what he had been expecting. It wasn’t like Jinyoung was the type to make a big fuss over things, even those that he didn’t agree with. If worst came to worst he would probably just go sulk in his room or something along those lines. The other members might not even be able to pick up on the fact that he was angry at all. All things considered, Jinyoung was probably the least dramatic person Jaebum had ever known.
None of this, unsurprisingly, did anything to calm the storm that had kicked up in his stomach at the mere thought of facing his friend. Jaebum had been laying on the sofa winding himself up further and further for what had felt like hours. Jackson had pulled the other members off to eat at the restaurant down the road with the excuse that Jinyoung and Jaebum had a previous engagement, which, although it may have been useful in order to be able to tell Jinyoung alone, had forced Jaebum to endure a, according to his watch, half an hour of silence had allowed Jaebum to chew his lips till they were almost bleeding, uncross and cross his legs no less than nineteen times (he’d lost count) and check his watch at ten second intervals, getting steadily more irritated at how little time had passed every time he looked.
This combination of factors had meant that Jaebum was infinitely more nervous about what he had to tell Jinyoung than he was when he had woken up that morning. By the time that Jinyoung had walked through the front door, hanging up his coat and collapsing down onto the sofa next to Jaebum, the leader could feel a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead. Although he liked to think that he knew Jinyoung better than most people, for once he was completely at a loss for how the younger would react to what he had to tell him.
This probably was why the whole thing was so anticlimactic. A part of Jaebum was expecting Jinyoung to storm out of the room in anger, another part of him expecting Jinyoung to grin from ear to ear and pull him into a hug in pity for how awkward Jaebum must have looked whilst telling him. He’d even considered the possibility of Jinyoung completely ignoring Jaebum completely from then on. This was by far the worst possibility.
He’d spent the day hyping himself up, deliberating over and over again; going over the worst case scenarios so many times that he had successfully talked himself out of telling Jinyoung several times before he finally decided to come out with it. All this considered, Jaebum felt like he had gone over every possible scenario that could possible happen.
But this. This he was definitely not expecting.
‘Okay.’ Jinyoung said.
‘Just okay.’ Just okay? What did okay even mean? At least if Jinyoung was shouting at him he‘d be able to come to the conclusion that his bandmate was definitely not too happy about this revelation.
‘What do you want me to say?’ Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing a can of Coke off the table and gesturing at Jaebum vaguely with another. Jaebum shook his head. The thought of drinking anything, let alone something fizzy, when his stomach felt like the consistency of curdled milk was enough to make Jaebum feel fairly nauseous.
The younger fell back onto the couch next to Jaebum, leaning back against the headrest and resting his legs on the leader’s, meeting his gaze levelly.
‘As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.’ He grinned. ‘Is that better?’ Jaebum nodded, looking down at his palms again, tracing the lines absentmindedly as his churning in his gut slowly began to subside, despite the fact that he had another four members to break the news too as soon as they came back.
‘I just wanted to tell you.’ First. He wanted to tell him first. Jaebum had spent the best part of their teenage years inseparable from Jinyoung, a brother in every possible way bar blood. Jinyoung had always been reliable, in fact, Jaebum could barely think of a time in the last five years in which he felt that he couldn’t confide in Jinyoung. The younger had just always been there, a solid presence by his side. Sure, Jinyoung could get on his nerves sometimes, especially when they were both younger and seemed to spend every waking moment of the day stuck to each others hip. Jaebum was sure Jinyoung had wanted nothing more than to escape him on several occasions, and there had been times in which they would snap at each other and then have to spend hours on end next to each other, both silently dying from the awkwardness of it all. That was to be expected though. Considering how little space both of the teenagers had to themselves especially during their time as JJ Project it was surprising that they hadn’t actually had any major fallings out.
Even if Jaebum didn’t explicitly say this, there was always the feeling that Jinyoung understood, that he didn’t need to say anything because they were both on the same level.
‘Does this mean you’re going to be all lovey dovey whenever you’re within five metres of each other?’ Jinyoung chuckled.
‘What?’ Well, Jinyoung had completely missed the mark on that one. ‘No, we’re not together. Not like that at least.’ The prospect of doing anything that could possible be construed as ‘romantic’ with Jackson of all people absolutely terrified the elder.
Jaebum had fallen into bed with Jackson a few months before in a drunken haze after a night out. Considering how inebriated both of them were that night, Jaebum couldn’t help but feel a little impressed when he woke up completely naked in his and Youngjae’s room, next to an equally nude Jackson. The last thing he remembered from the previous night had been Jinyoung promising to pay for his next drink if Jaebum could walk in a straight line to the opposite wall and Jaebum, seemingly forgetting about the amount of alcohol he had downed up to that point, had taken up the challenge, collapsing in a heap on the floor after two confident strides. Jaebum had no clue where Jackson factored into his night, but considering he couldn’t even walk it was pretty amazing that he had not only managed to get home but had also managed to do, well, whatever it was he had done with Jackson.
‘Oh, okay.’
‘Why did you think that?’ Jaebum questioned. ‘Besides, it’s Jackson.’
‘And? What’s that supposed to mean.’ Jaebum was beginning to think that it was better when Jinyoung was replying monosyllabically. To say that the two men had been surprised after waking up next to each other, clothes draped over every piece of furniture in a metre radius, would be an understatement. It was obvious to Jaebum as soon as he awoke and took in his surroundings that Jackson was definitely not asleep. It was deadly silent, bar Jaebum’s own staggered breaths. If the fact that they both were naked under the sheets wasn’t enough to convince Jaebum that he must have vastly overdrunk, he would have worked it out by the fact that drunk him had somehow managed to sleep next to Jackson for a whole night.
Jackson didn’t usually snore. On the rare occasion that he did, it was hardly a reason to refuse to sleep in the same room as him. After all, Jaebum had roomed with Youngjae, and still did occasionally. It was when Jackson was drunk that he was insufferable to sleep next to. Jaebum had felt sorry for Mark on nights where Jackson had drunk heavily. If Jaebum was kept awake by the booming snores coming from down the corridor, he dread to think what it was like for the eldest member.
‘Well, I don’t like him in that way. Why?’
‘It’s nothing. I’ve just been wondering…’ With respect to Jinyoung, Jaebum had never seen someone jump up with such speed as the younger had. Guilt was written all over his face as he looked down at Jaebum, still slumped over on the couch, however leaning slightly forward as a result of the speed at which Jinyoung had leapt up.
‘Been wondering?’ Jaebum took note of Jinyoung’s shifty posture and the way he was looking everywhere but Jaebum’s face. ‘You knew.’ He stated, getting up off the sofa as Jinyoung began to slowly but surely scoot away from him.
‘How on earth did you know?’ He demanded, every syllable sounding ever so slightly more incredulous. He and Jackson had thought they’d taken every precaution necessary for no one to find out. Sure, Jinyoung would never do anything to harm both his band members and the future of the group as a whole but could he say the same for the staff, the endless stream of people they encountered on a day to day basis? How obvious had they been that Jinyoung not only knew about them but also had been wondering about them. The churning in his stomach returned, twofold, and his hands had become steadily clammier as he processed this information.
‘No, it’s not like that hyung.’ Jinyoung had picked up on his mood almost instantaneously, resting his hand on the leader’s elbow. ‘You two were flat out ignoring each other at some points, the staff would probably think you were fighting. The others don’t know either as far as I know.’ He paused for a second, as if he was weighing up options in his head for which would benefit him the best. No matter the situation, Jinyoung had a funny trick of emerging in the best possible position. ‘Well, Youngjae might have figured it out as well.’
‘Seriously?’ Jaebum groaned at Jinyoung’s slight nod of his head, in two minds whether to get back at the younger for making him suffer when he already knew what was going on between Jackson and him. These thoughts were soon stifled by the sound of the front door opening, Jackson and Youngjae stepping in and removing their shoes. Jaebum shot a quick look at Jinyoung, clear that this was not the end of their conversation, Jinyoung sending an unfazed look back, smirk ever present on his face and never failing to make the elder’s blood boil.
‘What are you guys up to?’ Jackson asked, feigning interest, collapsing onto the sofa in such a way that he managed to take up the entire thing, limbs stretching in every imaginable direction.
‘I was actually just heading out.’ Jinyoung was already halfway to the door, stopping in his tracks right in front of Youngjae. ‘You got any money on you?’ Youngjae shook his head, looking at Jinyoung incredulously as if he couldn’t quite figure out where Jinyoung was going with this. They very rarely asked each other if they had money before going out. ‘Oh well, you’re just going to have to come with me then. You owe me.’ Youngjae flashed a quick look at Jackson and Jaebum for a moment, a cross between confusion at his hyung’s peculiar behavior and desperation at the prospect of being pulled outside into the frosty abyss that was Seoul in the winter months yet again.
‘I only just went out though.’ He stated, looking down at his gloves, where he had collected a decent collection of snowflakes, many of which hadn’t even melted yet.
‘And now you’ll go out again. You can never get too much air.’ Jinyoung’s fingers were already buttoning up Youngjae’s coat again, buttons which had only been unbuttoned mere moments before, already completely dressed himself. In fact, the only section of Jinyoung that was still visible was his eyes, crinkled at the edges as always, and even those were partially covered by his fringe, flattened against his forehead by the beanie forced onto his head. Jinyoung had the immune system of a toddler, and after realizing that the other members physically wouldn’t let him leave the house for long periods unless he was covered as much as possible, he had taken to dressing like one too.
‘Why should I have to go out again?’ Jinyoung didn’t answer, grabbing Youngjae’s hand and pulling him through the door, not sparing a look to the two older members, who were watching bemusedly, or at least Jackson was.
‘What was that all about?’ Jackson asked once the door had slammed shut, turning to Jaebum, eyebrow arched in confusion.
‘Jinyoung pulling his normal shtick of getting out of tricky situations.’
Jaebum smirked; he’d be sure to be overly nice to Jinyoung as soon as they returned, just to confuse him. Jinyoung could try and avoid him for as long as he wanted, but Jaebum had a knack of getting back at him once his guard was lowering.
He sent a quick glance to Jackson, still feeling the dread in his stomach at the prospect at having to tell the other three members. Well, he didn’t have to tell the other members, technically. He shot another glance at Jackson, blissfully unaware from his position on the sofa, before getting up and heading off to his room.
‘I hope you know that you’re telling the rest of them.’ He smiled, not bothering to stick around to hear Jackson’s reply.
~
‘We’re going to get caught.’ Jackson lamented when Jaebum had pressed him up against the hall upon seconds after walking through their front door the next day. Tugging the shorter man’s scarf out of the way, the material falling onto the shoe stand next to them, he began to place short, brisk kisses on the point just below Jackson’s earlobe. ‘We’re really going to get caught.’
‘We will if you don’t stop shouting.’ Jaebum whispered, running his hands noncommittally down the younger’s body before resting them on his hips, toying playfully with Jackson’s waistband. Face still buried in the others neck; he couldn’t help his lips curling into a smirk as the younger tilted his head away from him ever so slightly, arms grasping at Jaebum’s knit, pulling him so close that their entire bodies were pressed up against one another.
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this right now.’ Despite his words, Jackson’s hands had slipped under the warm fabric of Jaebum’s jumper, dragging his nails ever so slightly over the places he knew Jaebum responded to.
Jaebum leant back to capture the younger’s lips in response, pressing him up closer to the wall and sliding his thigh in between Jackson’s pair, applying just enough pressure to frustrate Jackson but not nearly enough to provide any kind of tangible pleasure.
Hooping one arm around Jaebum's neck, Jackson pulled the leader ever closer to him, placing his hand in the elders back pocket of his jeans. It was a little too quiet for Jackson's liking, and Jinyoung's scarf hanging next to his head would tickle his ear ever so often, but he found himself too far gone to even care.
By this point, Jaebum had busied himself with trying to unbutton Jackson's jacket. Jackson, on the average day, wore clothes that were so easy to remove that Jackson would often find himself sitting on the mattress in only his underwear waiting whilst Jaebum waged a war against his shirt buttons.
The younger had tried to give Jaebum a strip tease two months prior, which had gone just about as well as it sounded. Jaebum had been tentatively looking forward to it at first when Jackson had first proposed the idea to him. It wasn't until Jackson tried to remove his hoody in a way that he thought could somehow be perceived as vaguely sexy (it wasn't) whilst also trying to remove his baggy trousers that it all fell apart. The sight of Jackson hopping around the room in circles with his hoody twisted over his head so that it was completely obscuring his view and waving his arms around like some sort of drunken octopus was funny, that wasn't debatable. Maybe it wasn't so fun for Jackson when he ended up tripping up on the edge of the mattress and sent himself sailing towards the sharp edge of the small chest of drawers. It wasn't so fun for Jaebum either when he had had to spend the next half an hour pressing a bag of frozen peas to Jackson's head while the younger sulked about the disaster that had been the strip tease.
Jaebum liked to think that he personally didn’t have problems with the unbuttoning of any shirt, his own or anyone else's. This obviously did not apply to when the buttons in question were Jackson's, or if Jackson was just in the vicinity, he soon found out.
'Fuck.' He whispered under his breath as he tried, and consequently failed, to unbutton the third button from the top for what felt like the sixth time.
'Need any help there?' Jackson smirked, obviously reveling in Jaebum's struggles against his evil nemesis, otherwise known as the button.
'I've got it.' Jaebum grimaced, finally managing the unhook the button, unbuttoning the next one, two, three in quick succession, leaving Jackson's torso nearly completely bared.
'This is going to be hard to explain if we get caught.' Jackson sighed, looking down at his state of undress, trousers hitched down an inch, shirt almost completely open, only one arm still in his jacket and his scarf wound around his shoes.
'We won't get caught.' A cough coming from the living room seemed to prove Jaebum wrong almost instantaneously.
Both Jaebum and Jackson turned to the side, dread in the pit of their stomachs, locking eyes with Yugyeom, lying on one of the sofas with one earphone hanging out of his ear, an expression halfway between intense embarrassment and the face of someone who now had the ultimate collateral against his hyungs for the remainder of time.
'We got caught.' Jaebum stated, wincing at the look Jackson shot him as he pushed past him, clutching at his shirt as he walked into his and Mark's room, leaving Jaebum to stand under the Yugyeom's teasing gaze for a moment before quickly following Jackson, nearly head-on colliding into Mark as he headed out of his room.
'Is everyone in?' Jaebum asked incredulously.
'Just me, Yugyeom and Jinyoung.' Mark grinned; obviously enjoying how uncomfortable both Jackson and Jaebum were feeling. With that, he walked off, pulling Yugyeom with him on the way to Jinyoung's room.
'There's only Youngjae and Bambam missing.' Jaebum groaned, falling down onto the mattress next to Jackson.
'Bambam would never let us live that down.' That was true. If Bambam had been the one on the sofa, he would surely spend every waking moment of his life reminding them of that moment.
'True, but I don’t know if Yugyeom is any better.’ Jaebum sighed, turning on his side to stare at Jackson.
‘Well that ends that.’ Jackson groaned, starting to button up his shirt again. Jaebum smirked in response, pushing himself up so that he was leaning over Jackson’s body, hands on either side of his head.
‘Why?’ He asked. ‘We’ve already faced the embarrassment, what’ve we got to lose?’
Jackson opened his mouth to reply, but Jaebum would never find out what he was going to say, as he chose that exact moment to lean down and place a kiss on his jaw, just below the junction where his jaw met his ear. Over the few months that they had been sleeping together, Jaebum had found out things about Jackson’s body that he would have never before felt necessary, one of his favourites being that the younger would melt when he so much as touched that one spot.
Jaebum began to move down his neck, leaving small lingering kisses and the slightest of bites that would make Jackson squirm and shudder beneath him. He always made sure to leave a smattering of kisses over Jackson’s collarbones, though it was a pain knowing that he wasn’t allowed to leave any marks.
Jackson had managed to unbutton both of their trousers and Jaebum tore himself away for a moment to shrug his off, Jackson following suit, taking the time to take his shirt off and throw it off to the side, not particularly minding where it landed.
Jackson grabbed Jaebum’s arm and pulled him on top of him so that they were pressed flush upon each other, fingers playing absentmindedly with the elder’s underwear as if deciding when to completely strip Jaebum of it. Rolling them over so that Jaebum was lying on his back pressed down against the bed, Jackson threw him a small little smirk before dragging his lips down the leader’s torso, letting his teeth scrape teasingly over his nipple, playing off the sounds that the elder would make ever so often, little breathy sighs that Jaebum would try so hard to hide.
Jackson would often spend a little time teasing the leader, placing kisses on Jaebum’s inner thighs, his pelvic bone and his lower stomach, until Jaebum was practically gasping at him to do something more.
Hooking his finger under the waistband of Jaebum’s underwear, he slowly pulled them down the span of his entire legs, maintaining eye contact with the elder for the entire time.
Jackson enjoyed giving blowjobs. To him there was little hotter than the look on Jaebum’s face as he looked down at Jackson, mouth as full as he could take. It was Jaebum’s face that made Jackson feel as if the elder could not fathom anything being hotter than the moment where their eye’s met while Jackson was going down on him.
Jackson was eager to please, he always had been, and this reflected in his time spent with Jaebum. Jackson would take note of every little thing that Jaebum responded to, whether it was the way his eyes would roll in pleasure when Jackson would roll his tongue up the underside of Jaebum’s cock or the way that he would let out a moan every time Jackson would take him in so deep, he could feel Jaebum at the back of his throat, using his hand to take care of whatever he couldn’t quite get to himself without gagging.
Jaebum would shower him with praises whenever this happened, just spurring Jackson on further with every word that left the leaders mouth.
‘What about you?’ Jaebum asked when he’d finally collapsed, spent, back down onto the bed, throwing an arm up in the direction he hoped was Jackson’s crotch, knowing that the younger would be hard enough just from giving him pleasure.
‘I don’t think there’s anyone in the bathroom.’ Jackson grinned, and Jaebum couldn’t help but smile back.
‘You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.’
~
Jaebum hated mornings, if only for the fact that he, as leader, didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in for a further five minutes as some of his group mates liked to do. Heaving himself up and shaking his head in a futile attempt to shake off some of his lethargic state, he eventually managed to stand up and draw the curtains a little. Much to his chagrin, the light did little to wake up the other body in the room, arms splayed in all directions, legs tangled up in the sheets and completely, unashamedly butt naked. The body let out a snort, toes curling as it twisted so that it was firmly on it’s back, before falling back into a deep slumber.
‘Jackson?’ He questioned, poking at the younger’s arm with his toes. Jackson was undoubtedly out for the count, eyes firmly closed and mouth wide open, a trail of drool winding down from the very corner of his lips to his Adam’s apple.
‘Gross.’ Jaebum grimaced, crouching down in order to give Jackson a firmer shove, this time with his hand. ‘Wake up.’ This time he got a reaction, a small grunt from the back of the younger’s throat, before Jackson spun around so that his back was facing the elder and softly descended into a pattern of sleep-addled breaths once more.
Jaebum sighed, hoping more than anything that Jackson wouldn’t take too long to wake up that morning. He’d let the younger have as much of a lie in as was possible with their schedule that morning. Resting his hand on Jackson’s back, he gave the younger a few sharp shakes. ‘Wake up already.’
What?’ Jackson said, opening his left eye a fraction of a centimetre and turning so that he was on his back in order to look blearily up at the elder.
‘Time to get up.’ Jaebum punctuated this with yet another nudge, the probability of Jackson falling back asleep straight away was high, and on such a strict schedule, that just wasn’t a luxury any of them could afford.
‘That hurt.’ Jackson moaned, rubbing at his eyes halfheartedly before turning so that he was facing away from the leader once again.
‘This’ll hurt a lot more, trust me.’ Jaebum smirked before heading to the curtains, drawing them fully, sunlight filling the room and beating down on Jackson’s face. The younger whined, scrunching up his face and pulling the covers up as a makeshift cocoon surrounding his head.
‘I thought Jeff’s were supposed to be nice.’ Jackson’s voice was somewhat muffled by the dome of bedding enveloping his head, but the elder heard him loud and clear.
Sometimes he did feel sorry for the others on the occasions that he woke them up, but then he swiftly remembered that he to a certain degree had a responsibility to make sure they were all out of the dorm at a particular time every day. If he was going to be stuck with such a responsibility, he might as well enjoy himself.
Jackson was by far the most fun to wake up. Mark could be almost too calm when woken up, Youngjae was completely impossible to wake some days and Jaebum had always tried to avoid Jinyoung in the early hours of the day for his own personal safety. Waking up Jackson was all the fun, without the added threat of potential paperweights sailing past his face at high speed. There was little chance that Jinyoung would ever throw one of them, but one look at Jinyoung’s face, weapon in hand, had taught the elder to send other members in to wake Jinyoung in the morning for his own safety.
A snort reverberated from the pool of bedding in the middle of the mattress, bringing a grin to Jaebum’s face as he grasped both corners of the quilt in his hands, pulling them all off the bed in one go, Jackson instantly jolting awake with the warm shield of blankets being replaced by the cold air of a new winter morning.
‘You’re sadistic.’ He muttered, teeth chattering as he looked at Jaebum with a slight hint of betrayal in his eyes.
‘If you’re awake enough to talk, you’re awake enough to go shower.’ Jaebum turned to grab a towel he’d got earlier, throwing it at Jackson, chuckling as the younger, still in a sleep-addled haze, scrambled to grab at it.
Jackson huffed in annoyance for a moment before he seemed to come to the conclusion that he had no choice but to get ready. It wasn’t like Jaebum was going to allow him to sleep in any longer.
‘Is this the smallest towel we’ve got?’ He asked, looking down at the hand towel Jaebum had thrown at him in disbelief.
‘It was the only one left.’ Jaebum lied, grinning when Jackson got up, holding the towel so that it could at least cover the front of his body, and made a mad dash out of the room. Jackson would be pissed when he found out that there was actually a large pile of freshly washed towels in the bathroom ready for him, but Jaebum didn’t particularly care. The sight of Jackson’s ass as he sprinted out of the room was a great way to start the day, he figured.
~
Jackson had called to take a short break after a few hours of high-intensity dance practice, falling to the ground in a heap, chest expanding and deflating with every deep, staggered breath he let out. A few of the others voiced their annoyances, wanting to get the practice over and done with as quick as possible, but it was obvious just from looking at their faces that they were just as thankful for a chance to sit down and catch their breaths.
Jaebum had slid his back against the mirror until he was sat down propped up against the wall, head rested tiredly in the space between his knees. Against his best efforts, his eyes kept drifting back to Jackson, still lying on his back in the middle of the room, eyes shut and breathing a little calmer at this point. Since he was sure the other wasn’t paying attention to him, he let his eyes rake down the entirety of the younger’s body, from the strands of hair sticking out of the front of his cap and his Adam’s apple, shining with a thin coat of sweat under the harsh light all the way down to his trousers, worn low enough that Jaebum was able to see the slightest sliver of his stomach, a stomach that Jaebum had ran his hands over multiple times in the past.
‘What are you looking at?’ Mark asked, shaking Jaebum out of his apparent trance as the elder sat down in a slump next to him.
‘N-Nothing.’ Jaebum replied, pulling a book out of his bag and leafing through it, knowing that Mark wouldn’t buy it, but feeling particularly defensive about what he actually was doing. After all, if he told Mark, he might as well have told Jinyoung, and then Jinyoung would come to him with stories about how this meant something.
It didn’t mean anything. Jaebum was allowed to check Jackson out if he wanted to. It didn’t have to mean something. Jackson was hot-he wasn’t denying that. Things were good as they were. Why try and fix it when their arrangement wasn’t broken in the first place?
~
Sometimes it felt like Jinyoung’s sole purpose in life was to get a rise out of Jaebum. Despite the fact that having someone like Jinyoung as a friend could be pretty handy for the most part, there was no denying the younger knowing so much about him had led, on many occasions, to Jinyoung doing everything in his power in order to wind up Jaebum.
It was obvious that the younger had noticed that Jaebum had barely torn his gaze from him and Jackson since the start of the interview, whether it was because he had looked behind and seen Jaebum staring or had somehow pegged to the scathing looks Jaebum had been burning into the back of Jinyoung’s head since he’d found his hand resting on Jackson’s knee no more than a few minutes into the interview.
Jackson hadn’t seemed to mind too much, considering how he’d been looking at Jinyoung throughout the interview, catching the younger’s hand at one point and interlocking their fingers, playing up to Jinyoung’s affections. Jaebum tried as hard as he could to look away from his two band mates sitting in front of him, knowing that the fans would read into it if he stared too intently at them, but every once in a while he found his eyes flickering to them. They separated their hands eventually but throughout the interview Jinyoung was a little too affectionate towards the elder, a little too handsy, his face startlingly close to Jackson’s whenever Jaebum turned his head to look at them.
‘Jinyoung was being extra friendly today.’ Jaebum had commented, in what he hoped was a casual tone, when he and Jackson were lying next to each other in bed that very night, the lights turned off so that only the faint glint of moonlight was lighting the room. Maybe that was why Jaebum felt comfortable with approaching the topic when he’d been trying all day to no avail to bring it up. It was a lot easier to talk to Jackson when he was just that fuzzy shape next to him and not the Jackson that made Jaebum analyse his every movement when they were in the same vicinity just so that he didn’t somehow mess up.
‘Yeah. I mean, it’s Jinyoung. What do you expect?’ Jackson chuckled, as if Jaebum had stated the most obvious thing ever in an attempt to cut through the silence.
‘I know. You two have been playing it up a lot for the cameras lately though.’ Jaebum could tell from the sound of rustling to his right that Jackson had rolled over in order to face him, but, despite the lack of light he couldn’t bear turning over to face him back.
‘Jinyoung’s always like that though. He’s like that with you too.’ Jackson insisted lightheartedly.
‘He’s not like that with me.’ Jaebum fired back.
‘Maybe that has something to do with the fact that you weren’t sitting next to him today.’ Jackson replied and Jaebum could almost hear the smile on his face as he said that, like the whole conversation was the funniest thing ever to Jackson. ‘Are you trying to imply that he likes me or something?’
Jaebum stayed silent. He swore that the room was so quiet that he could just hear the harsh ticking of the analogue alarm clock Mark kept in his room in order to wake him up every morning before Jaebum had a chance to. That was until Jackson let out an almighty snort and Jaebum’s gaze was fixed on how, despite the lack of light, he could just faintly make out Jackson’s body shaking with every ill-concealed chuckle.
‘You’re delusional.’ Jackson spat out, sitting up on the mattress so that he didn’t choke himself whilst laughing. ‘If skinship was an accurate way of telling if Jinyoung liked someone, he’d be insatiable.’
‘He’s really not that touchy-feely with many people.’ Jaebum huffed, not particularly appreciating the way Jackson had shot down his suggestion as if there was no way he would ever be right.
‘You know that’s a lie.’ Jackson pointed out. ‘If Jinyoungie hasn’t initiated some form of skinship with someone for a day I see it as a cause for worry.’
He was right. He was so obviously right, yet Jaebum refused to admit it. It would be a lot easier if he just admitted it, he knew that much, but as usual he couldn’t will himself to just say it, to admit that he was wrong.
They sat there for a moment, Jackson’s eyes trained on the leader, before Jaebum turned over so that he was facing away from Jackson, ending the conversation and the room fell into an uncomfortable, silence, heavy and unpleasant.
part one | two
Title: I kind of want to be more than friends(with benefits)
Pairing(s)/focus: JB/Jackson
Rating: Hard R/NC-17
Word count: 13,217
Warnings: None
Author's notes: I originally started writing another of your prompts before switching to this one so that one might be coming in the future. Hope this is okay and that you have a great new year. :)
Summary: Jaebum doesn’t know what he wants, Jackson can’t read minds and all Jinyoung wants to do is be able to read past page twelve in his latest book.
part one | two
The whole thing had been rather anticlimactic.
Looking back on it, Jaebum wasn’t all too sure as to what he had been expecting. It wasn’t like Jinyoung was the type to make a big fuss over things, even those that he didn’t agree with. If worst came to worst he would probably just go sulk in his room or something along those lines. The other members might not even be able to pick up on the fact that he was angry at all. All things considered, Jinyoung was probably the least dramatic person Jaebum had ever known.
None of this, unsurprisingly, did anything to calm the storm that had kicked up in his stomach at the mere thought of facing his friend. Jaebum had been laying on the sofa winding himself up further and further for what had felt like hours. Jackson had pulled the other members off to eat at the restaurant down the road with the excuse that Jinyoung and Jaebum had a previous engagement, which, although it may have been useful in order to be able to tell Jinyoung alone, had forced Jaebum to endure a, according to his watch, half an hour of silence had allowed Jaebum to chew his lips till they were almost bleeding, uncross and cross his legs no less than nineteen times (he’d lost count) and check his watch at ten second intervals, getting steadily more irritated at how little time had passed every time he looked.
This combination of factors had meant that Jaebum was infinitely more nervous about what he had to tell Jinyoung than he was when he had woken up that morning. By the time that Jinyoung had walked through the front door, hanging up his coat and collapsing down onto the sofa next to Jaebum, the leader could feel a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead. Although he liked to think that he knew Jinyoung better than most people, for once he was completely at a loss for how the younger would react to what he had to tell him.
This probably was why the whole thing was so anticlimactic. A part of Jaebum was expecting Jinyoung to storm out of the room in anger, another part of him expecting Jinyoung to grin from ear to ear and pull him into a hug in pity for how awkward Jaebum must have looked whilst telling him. He’d even considered the possibility of Jinyoung completely ignoring Jaebum completely from then on. This was by far the worst possibility.
He’d spent the day hyping himself up, deliberating over and over again; going over the worst case scenarios so many times that he had successfully talked himself out of telling Jinyoung several times before he finally decided to come out with it. All this considered, Jaebum felt like he had gone over every possible scenario that could possible happen.
But this. This he was definitely not expecting.
‘Okay.’ Jinyoung said.
‘Just okay.’ Just okay? What did okay even mean? At least if Jinyoung was shouting at him he‘d be able to come to the conclusion that his bandmate was definitely not too happy about this revelation.
‘What do you want me to say?’ Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing a can of Coke off the table and gesturing at Jaebum vaguely with another. Jaebum shook his head. The thought of drinking anything, let alone something fizzy, when his stomach felt like the consistency of curdled milk was enough to make Jaebum feel fairly nauseous.
The younger fell back onto the couch next to Jaebum, leaning back against the headrest and resting his legs on the leader’s, meeting his gaze levelly.
‘As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.’ He grinned. ‘Is that better?’ Jaebum nodded, looking down at his palms again, tracing the lines absentmindedly as his churning in his gut slowly began to subside, despite the fact that he had another four members to break the news too as soon as they came back.
‘I just wanted to tell you.’ First. He wanted to tell him first. Jaebum had spent the best part of their teenage years inseparable from Jinyoung, a brother in every possible way bar blood. Jinyoung had always been reliable, in fact, Jaebum could barely think of a time in the last five years in which he felt that he couldn’t confide in Jinyoung. The younger had just always been there, a solid presence by his side. Sure, Jinyoung could get on his nerves sometimes, especially when they were both younger and seemed to spend every waking moment of the day stuck to each others hip. Jaebum was sure Jinyoung had wanted nothing more than to escape him on several occasions, and there had been times in which they would snap at each other and then have to spend hours on end next to each other, both silently dying from the awkwardness of it all. That was to be expected though. Considering how little space both of the teenagers had to themselves especially during their time as JJ Project it was surprising that they hadn’t actually had any major fallings out.
Even if Jaebum didn’t explicitly say this, there was always the feeling that Jinyoung understood, that he didn’t need to say anything because they were both on the same level.
‘Does this mean you’re going to be all lovey dovey whenever you’re within five metres of each other?’ Jinyoung chuckled.
‘What?’ Well, Jinyoung had completely missed the mark on that one. ‘No, we’re not together. Not like that at least.’ The prospect of doing anything that could possible be construed as ‘romantic’ with Jackson of all people absolutely terrified the elder.
Jaebum had fallen into bed with Jackson a few months before in a drunken haze after a night out. Considering how inebriated both of them were that night, Jaebum couldn’t help but feel a little impressed when he woke up completely naked in his and Youngjae’s room, next to an equally nude Jackson. The last thing he remembered from the previous night had been Jinyoung promising to pay for his next drink if Jaebum could walk in a straight line to the opposite wall and Jaebum, seemingly forgetting about the amount of alcohol he had downed up to that point, had taken up the challenge, collapsing in a heap on the floor after two confident strides. Jaebum had no clue where Jackson factored into his night, but considering he couldn’t even walk it was pretty amazing that he had not only managed to get home but had also managed to do, well, whatever it was he had done with Jackson.
‘Oh, okay.’
‘Why did you think that?’ Jaebum questioned. ‘Besides, it’s Jackson.’
‘And? What’s that supposed to mean.’ Jaebum was beginning to think that it was better when Jinyoung was replying monosyllabically. To say that the two men had been surprised after waking up next to each other, clothes draped over every piece of furniture in a metre radius, would be an understatement. It was obvious to Jaebum as soon as he awoke and took in his surroundings that Jackson was definitely not asleep. It was deadly silent, bar Jaebum’s own staggered breaths. If the fact that they both were naked under the sheets wasn’t enough to convince Jaebum that he must have vastly overdrunk, he would have worked it out by the fact that drunk him had somehow managed to sleep next to Jackson for a whole night.
Jackson didn’t usually snore. On the rare occasion that he did, it was hardly a reason to refuse to sleep in the same room as him. After all, Jaebum had roomed with Youngjae, and still did occasionally. It was when Jackson was drunk that he was insufferable to sleep next to. Jaebum had felt sorry for Mark on nights where Jackson had drunk heavily. If Jaebum was kept awake by the booming snores coming from down the corridor, he dread to think what it was like for the eldest member.
‘Well, I don’t like him in that way. Why?’
‘It’s nothing. I’ve just been wondering…’ With respect to Jinyoung, Jaebum had never seen someone jump up with such speed as the younger had. Guilt was written all over his face as he looked down at Jaebum, still slumped over on the couch, however leaning slightly forward as a result of the speed at which Jinyoung had leapt up.
‘Been wondering?’ Jaebum took note of Jinyoung’s shifty posture and the way he was looking everywhere but Jaebum’s face. ‘You knew.’ He stated, getting up off the sofa as Jinyoung began to slowly but surely scoot away from him.
‘How on earth did you know?’ He demanded, every syllable sounding ever so slightly more incredulous. He and Jackson had thought they’d taken every precaution necessary for no one to find out. Sure, Jinyoung would never do anything to harm both his band members and the future of the group as a whole but could he say the same for the staff, the endless stream of people they encountered on a day to day basis? How obvious had they been that Jinyoung not only knew about them but also had been wondering about them. The churning in his stomach returned, twofold, and his hands had become steadily clammier as he processed this information.
‘No, it’s not like that hyung.’ Jinyoung had picked up on his mood almost instantaneously, resting his hand on the leader’s elbow. ‘You two were flat out ignoring each other at some points, the staff would probably think you were fighting. The others don’t know either as far as I know.’ He paused for a second, as if he was weighing up options in his head for which would benefit him the best. No matter the situation, Jinyoung had a funny trick of emerging in the best possible position. ‘Well, Youngjae might have figured it out as well.’
‘Seriously?’ Jaebum groaned at Jinyoung’s slight nod of his head, in two minds whether to get back at the younger for making him suffer when he already knew what was going on between Jackson and him. These thoughts were soon stifled by the sound of the front door opening, Jackson and Youngjae stepping in and removing their shoes. Jaebum shot a quick look at Jinyoung, clear that this was not the end of their conversation, Jinyoung sending an unfazed look back, smirk ever present on his face and never failing to make the elder’s blood boil.
‘What are you guys up to?’ Jackson asked, feigning interest, collapsing onto the sofa in such a way that he managed to take up the entire thing, limbs stretching in every imaginable direction.
‘I was actually just heading out.’ Jinyoung was already halfway to the door, stopping in his tracks right in front of Youngjae. ‘You got any money on you?’ Youngjae shook his head, looking at Jinyoung incredulously as if he couldn’t quite figure out where Jinyoung was going with this. They very rarely asked each other if they had money before going out. ‘Oh well, you’re just going to have to come with me then. You owe me.’ Youngjae flashed a quick look at Jackson and Jaebum for a moment, a cross between confusion at his hyung’s peculiar behavior and desperation at the prospect of being pulled outside into the frosty abyss that was Seoul in the winter months yet again.
‘I only just went out though.’ He stated, looking down at his gloves, where he had collected a decent collection of snowflakes, many of which hadn’t even melted yet.
‘And now you’ll go out again. You can never get too much air.’ Jinyoung’s fingers were already buttoning up Youngjae’s coat again, buttons which had only been unbuttoned mere moments before, already completely dressed himself. In fact, the only section of Jinyoung that was still visible was his eyes, crinkled at the edges as always, and even those were partially covered by his fringe, flattened against his forehead by the beanie forced onto his head. Jinyoung had the immune system of a toddler, and after realizing that the other members physically wouldn’t let him leave the house for long periods unless he was covered as much as possible, he had taken to dressing like one too.
‘Why should I have to go out again?’ Jinyoung didn’t answer, grabbing Youngjae’s hand and pulling him through the door, not sparing a look to the two older members, who were watching bemusedly, or at least Jackson was.
‘What was that all about?’ Jackson asked once the door had slammed shut, turning to Jaebum, eyebrow arched in confusion.
‘Jinyoung pulling his normal shtick of getting out of tricky situations.’
Jaebum smirked; he’d be sure to be overly nice to Jinyoung as soon as they returned, just to confuse him. Jinyoung could try and avoid him for as long as he wanted, but Jaebum had a knack of getting back at him once his guard was lowering.
He sent a quick glance to Jackson, still feeling the dread in his stomach at the prospect at having to tell the other three members. Well, he didn’t have to tell the other members, technically. He shot another glance at Jackson, blissfully unaware from his position on the sofa, before getting up and heading off to his room.
‘I hope you know that you’re telling the rest of them.’ He smiled, not bothering to stick around to hear Jackson’s reply.
~
‘We’re going to get caught.’ Jackson lamented when Jaebum had pressed him up against the hall upon seconds after walking through their front door the next day. Tugging the shorter man’s scarf out of the way, the material falling onto the shoe stand next to them, he began to place short, brisk kisses on the point just below Jackson’s earlobe. ‘We’re really going to get caught.’
‘We will if you don’t stop shouting.’ Jaebum whispered, running his hands noncommittally down the younger’s body before resting them on his hips, toying playfully with Jackson’s waistband. Face still buried in the others neck; he couldn’t help his lips curling into a smirk as the younger tilted his head away from him ever so slightly, arms grasping at Jaebum’s knit, pulling him so close that their entire bodies were pressed up against one another.
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this right now.’ Despite his words, Jackson’s hands had slipped under the warm fabric of Jaebum’s jumper, dragging his nails ever so slightly over the places he knew Jaebum responded to.
Jaebum leant back to capture the younger’s lips in response, pressing him up closer to the wall and sliding his thigh in between Jackson’s pair, applying just enough pressure to frustrate Jackson but not nearly enough to provide any kind of tangible pleasure.
Hooping one arm around Jaebum's neck, Jackson pulled the leader ever closer to him, placing his hand in the elders back pocket of his jeans. It was a little too quiet for Jackson's liking, and Jinyoung's scarf hanging next to his head would tickle his ear ever so often, but he found himself too far gone to even care.
By this point, Jaebum had busied himself with trying to unbutton Jackson's jacket. Jackson, on the average day, wore clothes that were so easy to remove that Jackson would often find himself sitting on the mattress in only his underwear waiting whilst Jaebum waged a war against his shirt buttons.
The younger had tried to give Jaebum a strip tease two months prior, which had gone just about as well as it sounded. Jaebum had been tentatively looking forward to it at first when Jackson had first proposed the idea to him. It wasn't until Jackson tried to remove his hoody in a way that he thought could somehow be perceived as vaguely sexy (it wasn't) whilst also trying to remove his baggy trousers that it all fell apart. The sight of Jackson hopping around the room in circles with his hoody twisted over his head so that it was completely obscuring his view and waving his arms around like some sort of drunken octopus was funny, that wasn't debatable. Maybe it wasn't so fun for Jackson when he ended up tripping up on the edge of the mattress and sent himself sailing towards the sharp edge of the small chest of drawers. It wasn't so fun for Jaebum either when he had had to spend the next half an hour pressing a bag of frozen peas to Jackson's head while the younger sulked about the disaster that had been the strip tease.
Jaebum liked to think that he personally didn’t have problems with the unbuttoning of any shirt, his own or anyone else's. This obviously did not apply to when the buttons in question were Jackson's, or if Jackson was just in the vicinity, he soon found out.
'Fuck.' He whispered under his breath as he tried, and consequently failed, to unbutton the third button from the top for what felt like the sixth time.
'Need any help there?' Jackson smirked, obviously reveling in Jaebum's struggles against his evil nemesis, otherwise known as the button.
'I've got it.' Jaebum grimaced, finally managing the unhook the button, unbuttoning the next one, two, three in quick succession, leaving Jackson's torso nearly completely bared.
'This is going to be hard to explain if we get caught.' Jackson sighed, looking down at his state of undress, trousers hitched down an inch, shirt almost completely open, only one arm still in his jacket and his scarf wound around his shoes.
'We won't get caught.' A cough coming from the living room seemed to prove Jaebum wrong almost instantaneously.
Both Jaebum and Jackson turned to the side, dread in the pit of their stomachs, locking eyes with Yugyeom, lying on one of the sofas with one earphone hanging out of his ear, an expression halfway between intense embarrassment and the face of someone who now had the ultimate collateral against his hyungs for the remainder of time.
'We got caught.' Jaebum stated, wincing at the look Jackson shot him as he pushed past him, clutching at his shirt as he walked into his and Mark's room, leaving Jaebum to stand under the Yugyeom's teasing gaze for a moment before quickly following Jackson, nearly head-on colliding into Mark as he headed out of his room.
'Is everyone in?' Jaebum asked incredulously.
'Just me, Yugyeom and Jinyoung.' Mark grinned; obviously enjoying how uncomfortable both Jackson and Jaebum were feeling. With that, he walked off, pulling Yugyeom with him on the way to Jinyoung's room.
'There's only Youngjae and Bambam missing.' Jaebum groaned, falling down onto the mattress next to Jackson.
'Bambam would never let us live that down.' That was true. If Bambam had been the one on the sofa, he would surely spend every waking moment of his life reminding them of that moment.
'True, but I don’t know if Yugyeom is any better.’ Jaebum sighed, turning on his side to stare at Jackson.
‘Well that ends that.’ Jackson groaned, starting to button up his shirt again. Jaebum smirked in response, pushing himself up so that he was leaning over Jackson’s body, hands on either side of his head.
‘Why?’ He asked. ‘We’ve already faced the embarrassment, what’ve we got to lose?’
Jackson opened his mouth to reply, but Jaebum would never find out what he was going to say, as he chose that exact moment to lean down and place a kiss on his jaw, just below the junction where his jaw met his ear. Over the few months that they had been sleeping together, Jaebum had found out things about Jackson’s body that he would have never before felt necessary, one of his favourites being that the younger would melt when he so much as touched that one spot.
Jaebum began to move down his neck, leaving small lingering kisses and the slightest of bites that would make Jackson squirm and shudder beneath him. He always made sure to leave a smattering of kisses over Jackson’s collarbones, though it was a pain knowing that he wasn’t allowed to leave any marks.
Jackson had managed to unbutton both of their trousers and Jaebum tore himself away for a moment to shrug his off, Jackson following suit, taking the time to take his shirt off and throw it off to the side, not particularly minding where it landed.
Jackson grabbed Jaebum’s arm and pulled him on top of him so that they were pressed flush upon each other, fingers playing absentmindedly with the elder’s underwear as if deciding when to completely strip Jaebum of it. Rolling them over so that Jaebum was lying on his back pressed down against the bed, Jackson threw him a small little smirk before dragging his lips down the leader’s torso, letting his teeth scrape teasingly over his nipple, playing off the sounds that the elder would make ever so often, little breathy sighs that Jaebum would try so hard to hide.
Jackson would often spend a little time teasing the leader, placing kisses on Jaebum’s inner thighs, his pelvic bone and his lower stomach, until Jaebum was practically gasping at him to do something more.
Hooking his finger under the waistband of Jaebum’s underwear, he slowly pulled them down the span of his entire legs, maintaining eye contact with the elder for the entire time.
Jackson enjoyed giving blowjobs. To him there was little hotter than the look on Jaebum’s face as he looked down at Jackson, mouth as full as he could take. It was Jaebum’s face that made Jackson feel as if the elder could not fathom anything being hotter than the moment where their eye’s met while Jackson was going down on him.
Jackson was eager to please, he always had been, and this reflected in his time spent with Jaebum. Jackson would take note of every little thing that Jaebum responded to, whether it was the way his eyes would roll in pleasure when Jackson would roll his tongue up the underside of Jaebum’s cock or the way that he would let out a moan every time Jackson would take him in so deep, he could feel Jaebum at the back of his throat, using his hand to take care of whatever he couldn’t quite get to himself without gagging.
Jaebum would shower him with praises whenever this happened, just spurring Jackson on further with every word that left the leaders mouth.
‘What about you?’ Jaebum asked when he’d finally collapsed, spent, back down onto the bed, throwing an arm up in the direction he hoped was Jackson’s crotch, knowing that the younger would be hard enough just from giving him pleasure.
‘I don’t think there’s anyone in the bathroom.’ Jackson grinned, and Jaebum couldn’t help but smile back.
‘You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.’
~
Jaebum hated mornings, if only for the fact that he, as leader, didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in for a further five minutes as some of his group mates liked to do. Heaving himself up and shaking his head in a futile attempt to shake off some of his lethargic state, he eventually managed to stand up and draw the curtains a little. Much to his chagrin, the light did little to wake up the other body in the room, arms splayed in all directions, legs tangled up in the sheets and completely, unashamedly butt naked. The body let out a snort, toes curling as it twisted so that it was firmly on it’s back, before falling back into a deep slumber.
‘Jackson?’ He questioned, poking at the younger’s arm with his toes. Jackson was undoubtedly out for the count, eyes firmly closed and mouth wide open, a trail of drool winding down from the very corner of his lips to his Adam’s apple.
‘Gross.’ Jaebum grimaced, crouching down in order to give Jackson a firmer shove, this time with his hand. ‘Wake up.’ This time he got a reaction, a small grunt from the back of the younger’s throat, before Jackson spun around so that his back was facing the elder and softly descended into a pattern of sleep-addled breaths once more.
Jaebum sighed, hoping more than anything that Jackson wouldn’t take too long to wake up that morning. He’d let the younger have as much of a lie in as was possible with their schedule that morning. Resting his hand on Jackson’s back, he gave the younger a few sharp shakes. ‘Wake up already.’
What?’ Jackson said, opening his left eye a fraction of a centimetre and turning so that he was on his back in order to look blearily up at the elder.
‘Time to get up.’ Jaebum punctuated this with yet another nudge, the probability of Jackson falling back asleep straight away was high, and on such a strict schedule, that just wasn’t a luxury any of them could afford.
‘That hurt.’ Jackson moaned, rubbing at his eyes halfheartedly before turning so that he was facing away from the leader once again.
‘This’ll hurt a lot more, trust me.’ Jaebum smirked before heading to the curtains, drawing them fully, sunlight filling the room and beating down on Jackson’s face. The younger whined, scrunching up his face and pulling the covers up as a makeshift cocoon surrounding his head.
‘I thought Jeff’s were supposed to be nice.’ Jackson’s voice was somewhat muffled by the dome of bedding enveloping his head, but the elder heard him loud and clear.
Sometimes he did feel sorry for the others on the occasions that he woke them up, but then he swiftly remembered that he to a certain degree had a responsibility to make sure they were all out of the dorm at a particular time every day. If he was going to be stuck with such a responsibility, he might as well enjoy himself.
Jackson was by far the most fun to wake up. Mark could be almost too calm when woken up, Youngjae was completely impossible to wake some days and Jaebum had always tried to avoid Jinyoung in the early hours of the day for his own personal safety. Waking up Jackson was all the fun, without the added threat of potential paperweights sailing past his face at high speed. There was little chance that Jinyoung would ever throw one of them, but one look at Jinyoung’s face, weapon in hand, had taught the elder to send other members in to wake Jinyoung in the morning for his own safety.
A snort reverberated from the pool of bedding in the middle of the mattress, bringing a grin to Jaebum’s face as he grasped both corners of the quilt in his hands, pulling them all off the bed in one go, Jackson instantly jolting awake with the warm shield of blankets being replaced by the cold air of a new winter morning.
‘You’re sadistic.’ He muttered, teeth chattering as he looked at Jaebum with a slight hint of betrayal in his eyes.
‘If you’re awake enough to talk, you’re awake enough to go shower.’ Jaebum turned to grab a towel he’d got earlier, throwing it at Jackson, chuckling as the younger, still in a sleep-addled haze, scrambled to grab at it.
Jackson huffed in annoyance for a moment before he seemed to come to the conclusion that he had no choice but to get ready. It wasn’t like Jaebum was going to allow him to sleep in any longer.
‘Is this the smallest towel we’ve got?’ He asked, looking down at the hand towel Jaebum had thrown at him in disbelief.
‘It was the only one left.’ Jaebum lied, grinning when Jackson got up, holding the towel so that it could at least cover the front of his body, and made a mad dash out of the room. Jackson would be pissed when he found out that there was actually a large pile of freshly washed towels in the bathroom ready for him, but Jaebum didn’t particularly care. The sight of Jackson’s ass as he sprinted out of the room was a great way to start the day, he figured.
~
Jackson had called to take a short break after a few hours of high-intensity dance practice, falling to the ground in a heap, chest expanding and deflating with every deep, staggered breath he let out. A few of the others voiced their annoyances, wanting to get the practice over and done with as quick as possible, but it was obvious just from looking at their faces that they were just as thankful for a chance to sit down and catch their breaths.
Jaebum had slid his back against the mirror until he was sat down propped up against the wall, head rested tiredly in the space between his knees. Against his best efforts, his eyes kept drifting back to Jackson, still lying on his back in the middle of the room, eyes shut and breathing a little calmer at this point. Since he was sure the other wasn’t paying attention to him, he let his eyes rake down the entirety of the younger’s body, from the strands of hair sticking out of the front of his cap and his Adam’s apple, shining with a thin coat of sweat under the harsh light all the way down to his trousers, worn low enough that Jaebum was able to see the slightest sliver of his stomach, a stomach that Jaebum had ran his hands over multiple times in the past.
‘What are you looking at?’ Mark asked, shaking Jaebum out of his apparent trance as the elder sat down in a slump next to him.
‘N-Nothing.’ Jaebum replied, pulling a book out of his bag and leafing through it, knowing that Mark wouldn’t buy it, but feeling particularly defensive about what he actually was doing. After all, if he told Mark, he might as well have told Jinyoung, and then Jinyoung would come to him with stories about how this meant something.
It didn’t mean anything. Jaebum was allowed to check Jackson out if he wanted to. It didn’t have to mean something. Jackson was hot-he wasn’t denying that. Things were good as they were. Why try and fix it when their arrangement wasn’t broken in the first place?
~
Sometimes it felt like Jinyoung’s sole purpose in life was to get a rise out of Jaebum. Despite the fact that having someone like Jinyoung as a friend could be pretty handy for the most part, there was no denying the younger knowing so much about him had led, on many occasions, to Jinyoung doing everything in his power in order to wind up Jaebum.
It was obvious that the younger had noticed that Jaebum had barely torn his gaze from him and Jackson since the start of the interview, whether it was because he had looked behind and seen Jaebum staring or had somehow pegged to the scathing looks Jaebum had been burning into the back of Jinyoung’s head since he’d found his hand resting on Jackson’s knee no more than a few minutes into the interview.
Jackson hadn’t seemed to mind too much, considering how he’d been looking at Jinyoung throughout the interview, catching the younger’s hand at one point and interlocking their fingers, playing up to Jinyoung’s affections. Jaebum tried as hard as he could to look away from his two band mates sitting in front of him, knowing that the fans would read into it if he stared too intently at them, but every once in a while he found his eyes flickering to them. They separated their hands eventually but throughout the interview Jinyoung was a little too affectionate towards the elder, a little too handsy, his face startlingly close to Jackson’s whenever Jaebum turned his head to look at them.
‘Jinyoung was being extra friendly today.’ Jaebum had commented, in what he hoped was a casual tone, when he and Jackson were lying next to each other in bed that very night, the lights turned off so that only the faint glint of moonlight was lighting the room. Maybe that was why Jaebum felt comfortable with approaching the topic when he’d been trying all day to no avail to bring it up. It was a lot easier to talk to Jackson when he was just that fuzzy shape next to him and not the Jackson that made Jaebum analyse his every movement when they were in the same vicinity just so that he didn’t somehow mess up.
‘Yeah. I mean, it’s Jinyoung. What do you expect?’ Jackson chuckled, as if Jaebum had stated the most obvious thing ever in an attempt to cut through the silence.
‘I know. You two have been playing it up a lot for the cameras lately though.’ Jaebum could tell from the sound of rustling to his right that Jackson had rolled over in order to face him, but, despite the lack of light he couldn’t bear turning over to face him back.
‘Jinyoung’s always like that though. He’s like that with you too.’ Jackson insisted lightheartedly.
‘He’s not like that with me.’ Jaebum fired back.
‘Maybe that has something to do with the fact that you weren’t sitting next to him today.’ Jackson replied and Jaebum could almost hear the smile on his face as he said that, like the whole conversation was the funniest thing ever to Jackson. ‘Are you trying to imply that he likes me or something?’
Jaebum stayed silent. He swore that the room was so quiet that he could just hear the harsh ticking of the analogue alarm clock Mark kept in his room in order to wake him up every morning before Jaebum had a chance to. That was until Jackson let out an almighty snort and Jaebum’s gaze was fixed on how, despite the lack of light, he could just faintly make out Jackson’s body shaking with every ill-concealed chuckle.
‘You’re delusional.’ Jackson spat out, sitting up on the mattress so that he didn’t choke himself whilst laughing. ‘If skinship was an accurate way of telling if Jinyoung liked someone, he’d be insatiable.’
‘He’s really not that touchy-feely with many people.’ Jaebum huffed, not particularly appreciating the way Jackson had shot down his suggestion as if there was no way he would ever be right.
‘You know that’s a lie.’ Jackson pointed out. ‘If Jinyoungie hasn’t initiated some form of skinship with someone for a day I see it as a cause for worry.’
He was right. He was so obviously right, yet Jaebum refused to admit it. It would be a lot easier if he just admitted it, he knew that much, but as usual he couldn’t will himself to just say it, to admit that he was wrong.
They sat there for a moment, Jackson’s eyes trained on the leader, before Jaebum turned over so that he was facing away from Jackson, ending the conversation and the room fell into an uncomfortable, silence, heavy and unpleasant.
part one | two