i think i wanna fuck off now. i want to be done. finished. through with this place. these people. i just wanna fuck off. but i also want someone to stop me.

(who the fuck reads this?)

the heat is so hot hot today. i hate feeling sticky when there isnt a good reason for it. i actually hate feeling sticky altogether, but its acceptable in sertain sexalicious sircumstances. of course. oh god this is sad. there has got to be someone feeling as sex deprived as me right now. even in this fucking heat ( Read more... )

last night was pretty bitchin. i hung out in santa cruz with ayaka and a kid named brian. i had a lot of fun. these last couple weeks have just seemed to fall short of good. ive been pretty lonely, and though im still lacking, and desperately seeking some intimate contact, going out last night made me feel better ( Read more... )

so spending enough time with the rest of monta vista's graduating class kinda made me feel like ass. ok it really made me feel like ass. im a middle college kid. im nothing like most of these people. but, that doesnt mean i dont, or didnt wish that i was. why shouldnt i want to fit in with the people that were having fun all these years. they, at ( Read more... )

i havent been this bad in a long time.

what i wouldnt do for someone to come over and cheer me up.

last night i was at santana row, and i stopped to listen to this old guy playing the guitar and singing. he only played covers, but that has little to do with the story ( Read more... )

'oy

gotta git up, gotta git up...

oh god give me something to do

grumble
grumble
grumble

so i did something today i never expected id do, even though ive wanted to. it didnt work. but now i feel better about doing nothing instead of doing what wanted to. if that makes sense.