The Desperate & Dateless Meme

[gr8muppetyodin]

Not all muses are tied up in OMFGOTPFTW relationships, or even blessed by twu wuv and Cupid’s arrow. Some of our muses are perfectly flawed, and just as desperate and dateless as people can be in real life. Whether it’s some deep-seated commitment issues, canonically right for the muse, or because they’re not so great at flirting or hooking up with

Comments

[mattdevlin]

Name: Matt Devlin
Age: Thirty something
Occupation: Detective with Scotland Yard
How long you’ve been single: Since I became a detective...
Why your last relationship ended: I worked too much

I'm also being blackmailed to post this. Just saying.

[nychandcuffs]

Thirty something? How very specific of you.

[mattdevlin]

Well, you anyone could be reading this. You've got to be careful with all the identity fraud going on today.

[nychandcuffs]

If you think that way about people in real life too, no wonder you've had quite the dry spell.

[mattdevlin]

I don't usually have enough time to talk that in-depth to people. Unless it's a blind date, and then they're usually more interested in my toes or my handcuffs anyway.

[nychandcuffs]

Lucky for you I don't have a foot fetish, and I got my own handcuffs.

[mattdevlin]

What if I don't like being handcuffed myself?

[nychandcuffs]

That's cool, it's not everyone's thing. What is your thing? Besides being responsive to the pancake suggestion.

[mattdevlin]

I like pancakes. My thing? As in sex thing? I guess you do mean sex thing, considering this is a singles site.

[nychandcuffs]

Well, yeah, I meant a sex thing, but we don't have to talk sex. Dating is supposed to be more than sex, right?

[mattdevlin]

That's the myth I heard, for sure. But what date really goes down without each party wondering what would happen in the bedroom? Isn't sex the eventual goal? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[nychandcuffs]

You still sound like you just need a really good shag as you Brits say. I'm still tempted to take some leave and head your way. At least then you'll hopefully see I'm not some crazed stalker. Feel free to call my station any time.

And just because it's the eventual goal doesn't mean some talking can't happen first.

[mattdevlin]

Yeah, you're probably right. You aren't the only one who thinks I'm in good need of one of those. Hence why my partner passively blackmailed me to post here. He's lovely like that. My welfare always important to him. That was sarcasm, by the way. Tones aren't easy to hear on this thing. He's all for me taking you up on your offer.

Do you talk to all your prospective bed partners? Or only the ones worth spending a second night with? I always wondered if I was doing something wrong. I like to make an effort to talk on dates, but they always inevitably end abysmally. Maybe the talking is the problem.

[nychandcuffs]

You've told him about the offer, then? Interesting... I've made it into partner conversation. So have you, by the way.

It depends. I mean, if the prospective partner's worth talking to, I talk to them no matter how many nights I spend with them. If conversation isn't there strong point I don't bother. I was fucking a guy for two weeks, but never once let him have a conversation with me. He was just... Well, he fucked well but sounded like a cave man. I like the men who can fuck and talk.

[mattdevlin]

It sort of slipped out by accident and he jumped on it like a dog with a bone. I made it into your partner conversation? Really?

How did you- okay, you know what? I'm not going to ask how you spanned two weeks like that. I would say it would have taken some... creativity. Is this fucking and talking simultaneously? I'm not sure many guys can pull that off.

[nychandcuffs]

So it was an accidental slippage. Even more interesting. Means I've been on your mind. And yeah, you did. U was asking me about the pancake thing because I said I was craving pancakes.

Not like it was two weeks twenty-four-seven. It just took being horny, really. Not so creative. It was like it was dating. With dating you need the guy to talk. And some common ground. And attraction. And no, not simultaneously. Wouldn't want to out too much pressure of you men.