The past week has made me question a lot of things about my myself, god and my relationships with people. I have so much growing to do. I don't want to regret anything. I want to know all the answers, to fix my broken pieces ( Read more... )

I recently went through my friends list on facebook and deleted all the people that I didn't know. All of them were from Columbia. It was really weird to think that I could have been friends with those people. I would have had a completely different life. Probably wouldn't be with James, might still be in contact with at least one of my "best ( Read more... )

Sometimes no matter how much you try cleaning something, it never gets fully clean. Rejection never gets easier. Especially when it's from someone you love. Change you've been anticipating comes only as a disappointment. The things you want more than anything are never within reach. It makes you wonder why. People tell you that you're a good person ( Read more... )

This semester has started out great. I've been working out and the classes I'm taking are great. Everything seems to be falling into place. I feel like I am able to exhale because things seem to be going in the right direction. Last semester...last year, there were a lot of times when I was "holding my breath." Maybe it's my attitude or making all ( Read more... )

I've got this feeling in my heart. Kind of like a weight, pressuring something. This sensation I'm familiar with. Everytime I feel a strong emotion toward something it happens. A song, movie, person...really anything, any emotion. Maybe I'm experiencing it because I'm lonely. Maybe it's fueled by my recent discovery. Maybe my craziness is at fault ( Read more... )

my year started off with a kiss in a car from the man i love, lil' wayne playing in the background, the smell of alcohol and smoke, and two strangers. not what i thought it would be at all. and once it was all said and done i didn't feel relieved that it was the new year. just before midnight i had a conversation with one of my supposed "best ( Read more... )

On the eve of my last day here for the rest of the year, I keep thinking about my life. Over the summer and even this semester I went through so much. And I always thought I was so mature...that I knew so much. Honestly, I don't. There are people out there with babies and husbands my age. I don't know anything...at all. I didn't even know enough to ( Read more... )

Everything has changed in such a short amount of time. I was so confused and tied to a memory that I shared with myself. Letting go wasn't hard. It hurt like hell though. Growing up, learning this lesson has been so painful. Everything I did not only hurt me, it hurt everyone around me...including James. I wish the pain was all mine. Hurting other ( Read more... )

I'm in love with him. The Thanksgiving break just confirmed it even more. I want to be with him but I want to give him his space. I want to help him but I want him to find his way. Kissing him and hearing him tell me he loved me was like a dream come true. I'm not ready...not prepared if I lose him again. I have no one to run to if it all bursts ( Read more... )

So thanksgiving break is coming up. Which I am very excited about. I miss being surrounded by people who understand me. I probably won't get to spend time with my friends because other people are more important. But I will not let that ruin anything for me. I have so many things to be thankful for. I've been reading the bible and strengthening my ( Read more... )