I F***ing Do, Part 21

[bluestocking79]

Title: I F***ing Do
Team : Order of the Phoenix
Word Count: 100 x 14
Rating: Mature--bad language here. (Well, obviously.)
Challenge: Creative Cursing Challenge
Characters: Hermione/Severus, Fluffy the Parrot, two Grouchy Goblins, two Smelly Centaurs, Luna, Lavender, Ginny and the fine and upstanding witches of Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: They're not

Comments

[droxy]

the crowning turd on the steaming shitpile her life .....

excellent imagery there.

I totally spewed coffee reading the teacher's hen party and the comments about hagrid. Abso-fucking-lutely inspired. XD

[bluestocking79]

So glad you enjoyed that image! :D

I'm delighted that the hen party made you laugh, although I hope nothing was destroyed in the coffee-spewing. Those witches are filthy, I'm telling you! The male staff members have no idea what's being said about them behind closed doors.

[mistaria]

I love all the penis/sex talk in this. That's what it always deteriorates to around a bunch of drunken women, isn't it? Haha.

Hopefully whatever doom is next for our Herm won't be too horrible!

[bluestocking79]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the sex bits, because I wondered if I'd gone too far. But yes, when women, hen nights and alcohol go together, they always wind up talking about sex and man bits .

Hermione's situation will be resolved soon, and that's all I can say about that. ;-)

[bambu345]

::gigglesnort:: Run over by a unicorn the night before her wedding. Poor, poor Hermione. With this sort of luck, the marriage is sure to be blessed!

And how sweet that she's home, waiting for Severus -- somehow I can't imagine it will be all that easy.

Oh, and my thanks to your parents for letting you post the installment It's put a smile on my face!

[bluestocking79]

Thank you! I'm always delighted to put a smile on your face. My parents are great sports, aren't they?

Being run over by a unicorn has to be a horrible omen, don't you think? Hopefully, that's only for the wedding, and not for the marriage.

As for her vigil, waiting for Severus... well, I guess you'll just have to read the next installment, won't you? ;-)

[bambu345]

You know what this series reminds me of? The old ten cent cliffhanger serials they showed in theatres across the U.S. Each ten minute film ended with the hero being in deadly peril, or some other madcap scrape so you'd come back for the next installment.

Let's hope the marriage survives the wedding.

And yes, your parents sound like they're great. You're very lucky -- except for the water-logged basement, of course.

[bluestocking79]

The old ten cent cliffhanger serials they showed in theatres across the U.S. Each ten minute film ended with the hero being in deadly peril, or some other madcap scrape so you'd come back for the next installment.

I've been thinking of it that way, too. It's been incredible fun to co-write what's essentially a serial, especially when reviewers are speculating and sharing their guesses, fears and anticipations. I've just loved hearing people's reactions to the different turns the story's taken!

[morethansirius]

Oh, dear! Hermione's gone and done it again! Will she never learn to use the first person plural when speaking of the wedding?

"Fucked to perdition!" Fluffy added helpfully.

Yep, I fully agree, Fluffy! After all, she is drunk and alone, in a dark, empty house, with a nutcase on the loose and absolutely no one knows where she is. No worries there.

Note to self: Ginny and Minerva plan my hen party.

[bluestocking79]

She has done it again! Only it's a bit worse this time: not only did she use the first-person singular, but she mocked Severus' contributions so far. I think that set him off more than anything. But Hermione's had a bit of an epiphany, so I doubt she'll make that mistake again.

After all, she is drunk and alone, in a dark, empty house, with a nutcase on the loose and absolutely no one knows where she is. No worries there.

Of course not! What could be worrisome about that setup? ~looks innocent~

Ginny and Minerva would plan a wicked, wicked hen night, and I would want to be invited. *g*

[a_bees_buzz]

This installment has an absolutely lovely arc, building from the bickering to the muck-up in the forest to the all-out hilarity in the staff room, and then taking it down to a gently, drunkenly romantic moment at the end. That's superb storytelling, that is.

The lines - too many to pick one, I grinned through this one from start to finish. I'm chuffed you got Firenze's bits into the action, can't have enough of Firenze's bits, you know. And a nice set-up for both the stag party and whatever Severus' surprise turns out to be.

[bluestocking79]

Thank you so much! ~blushes~ I'm so glad the whole arc worked for you, because I was wibbling a lot over including some of the more serious bits.

You inspired a lot of this installment, though, from the suggestion of closet romantic!Severus to the line Fluffy's obviously picked up from hearing Hermione repeat it to the idea of Hagrid pissing in the pumpkin patch. I can't thank you enough for that! And of course, I did put in the part about Firenze's bits in just for you. :D

[a_bees_buzz]

Lil ol' moi? Inspiration? *blushes back at ya*

I'm thrilled I could contribute in some way, since I wasn't around for the great nit hunt. Credit for closet romantic!Severus goes to Miamadwyn - I just passed the suggestion along, and you did a lovely job of picking it up and turning it into a much-needed interlude of beauty.