Hello, I barely wear shoes in this city ( Read more... )

In a matter of seconds my life can go from:

Enjoying a chicken salad sandwich and researching gastric breeding frogs (birth through the fucking mouth, dudesto ( Read more... )

Days left in Chicago: 5

Where I worked when I moved to Charlotte years ago: *$Cheaper than a professional colonic: 1. Miles Tillman's buttery salmon, 2. My "make use of what's left in the pantry" dinner creation last night which consisted of angel hair pasta covered in... Campbell's tomato soup., and 3. What could be a mild case of serious ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

It's always interesting when the brain lets a memory slip away until you're really ready to find it hilarious/appreciate it. Sometimes I'll forget something ridiculous that's happened to me or something ridiculous I've done for years and years. Other times it only takes a mere few hours to think back on a night and cackle at my own expense/the ( Read more... )

We've pretty much all talked to someone online before meeting them in person. Sometimes you'll talk to this person a whole lot. I've heard it said that when you finally see the computer this person was using it's sort of like...

seeing their butthole.I find it's also the same feeling when you're a fan of someone's music and you finally see the ( Read more... )

I will go through my closet and whip out everything I don't need to move with me ( Read more... )

Last night we held an impromptu "come see us before we move 1 million miles away" get together at Rainbo. Every single person that showed up happened to be every single person I thought wouldn't be able to make it out. It was everyone I always want to see but rarely do. Apparently that's the way we/you should always go about those things. ( Read more... )

David, you mowed my lawn and wanted to be my boyfriend.
I hope I run into you in Charlotte, North Carolina.

After finding this photograph my feelings for you and your facial hair have obviously come back.


( Read more... )

Hurricane Katrina and I turned into tropical depression.

Being a woman is hilarious.I don't think I'll ever understand what's going on inside me when I'm on my period ( Read more... )