you always want a story. well, let me tell you one. let me tell you a very sad story in hopes that it might bring you to tears that will drip on this very same page that you hold steady in front of your eyes. will it really? probably not. i can only hope. you see, it seemed that the decline of her living situation corresponded to the decline ( Read more... )

i guess things aren't beautiful anymore. the wind on my face and in my hair doesn't create the same joy that it used to. after you do ecstacy for a long time, it doesn't feel as good as it did when you first started. x-heads call it 'losing the magic.' i think i've lost the magic in my life. artificial highs can only be the remedy for so long.

nothing but a nice ease to the tension. things get too serious sometimes.. you forget what really matters. blah blah come to borders at 5 on saturday if you want to see me?

The tears have tripled and there are no signs of the water letting up. Here it is again, undoubtedly the same as always. The breaks in between have become heaven. I remember this past year and it is bliss. "Maybe this year will be better than the last." It could never be better than the last. I kept saying, "This very well could be the start ( Read more... )

I heard something today that was slightly shocking, made me stutter when I explained it again, but still made me smile. I am calming myself and not letting slight bumps in the road ruin a perfect path. It is hard, but I breathe and remember the way it was, the way it will be, and try to forget the present. You say, “If we don’t have trust, what ( Read more... )

i don't believe in anything

You move my mind to places it hasn’t been in ages. I thought I had found myself and this new sense of control, but you mix me around and make my feelings nine hundred and ninety nine tiny puzzle pieces. The only piece missing is myself. I can’t seem to find it when you are in my presence. I’d put my hand in your pocket to look if I wasn’t ( Read more... )

I’ll put you in your place like a crayon in a box, surrounded by different shades of the same color.. because you are all the same, right? Your awareness of my insensitivity means not a damn thing to me. I speak this way because I am this way. I’m sorry it hurts you to know.

I’m supposed to be strong and I keep telling myself I will be but I know it’s going to be so hard when you’re away. I just let these boiling tears burn the insides of my eyes but they burn much farther and deeper than that. Under the water there are memories of better times and better places, but still - no better faces. It’s only you, darling ( Read more... )

This? This won’t be graceful lines that flow off the tip of your tongue like a stream into an ocean. This will be rock hard and empty. There is nothing sweet about this heart, nothing kind about this touch. Only brick walls and hard falls and blood that comes in bursts. You won’t find mercy hiding in this room. Do not seek love in the corner ( Read more... )