My cousin was born with multiple sclerosis. All of her life they said she was not going to live a very long life. She is only 26 years old and she went into the hospital earlier this week. The doctors will be disconnecting her on Friday. This makes me very sad. I am her number 4 on her myspace which I see has not been checked for several days and ( Read more... )

fear, excitement, recognition....

regret?

lacking...eye....contact....

waiting...

everything you could ever want or be is everything you already have and are.

Can the spiral continue downwards?

Tear the hair, no words here

heads been spinning lately.

need to realize

that this is it.
so easy for me to believe it's pretendnot real.

thinking i'm reaching my downfall.

it can't continue... something has to change.

fast
but i feel like a big fat stupid coward.

All that night by lamplight we sing and yell songs which is okay but in the morning the bottle is gone and I wake with the "final horrors" again, precisely the way I woke up in the Frisco skidrow room before escaping down here, it's all caught up with me again, I can hear myself whining "Why does God torture me?" - but anybody who's never had ( Read more... )

I'm a fucking alcoholic. When is it going to stop?

Sitting at powells. Browsing through job on craigslist..a normal routine for me lately in attempts of distract myself from more important obligations. New gay nightclub opening up. What do I have to loose. Come to the Eagle and drop off a resume. I just so happen to have a copy of my resume in my briefcase I printed out two days prior. The thought ( Read more... )

I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of all the nonsense and the feeling that i'm not good enough. I'm tired of trying to meet your expectations because you expectations are garbage to me and are forever contradicting. I'm tired of feeling the need to explain myself to you. You make no sense.

I sat there, stunned with personal excitement as whole groups of them shouted across the smoke to other fellows in a tremendous general anticipation of the rapidly approaching almost unbearably important Saturday night in just a few hours, right after a dinner when there would be long preparations before the mirror and then a sharped-up city wide ( Read more... )

He's like the biggest slut I know. Why he didn't want to get intimate with me? Granted the timing was off.. but he just so happens to be my best friend, and it just so happens that i'm totally in love with him.