Im Not so Much a Romantic as I am Hopeless

[greatwhitedope1]

Ever since i stopped going to UMBC, i dont get included in anyone's plans. People talk to me a whole lot less, too. Except Walt and Jimmy and maybe Justin and Vanessa, people from UMBC dont really talk to me unless i initiate the conversation. Even then, it seems like im bothering them. I feel this way especially with Pam. She doesnt talk to me

Comments

[viscera_lace]

for the past few days i've had to read a 50-page chapter on mood disorders, so forgive me if i sound preachy or like i'm trying to diagnose you.

i know you've had worries about this before; about lonliness or lack of contact with people, but (and i think you know this as well) your knee injury has complicated things.

you're honestly one of the nicest guys i know and i know you're not always feeling down-- but yeah, feeling ousted from people's lives and a social life in general (especially for something like your injury that is out of your control) can make you feel very isolated.

i've always enjoyed your company and friendship, and unfortunately my schedule is filled to the brim (heh, except now at 7:15am.. :P), otherwise i would take some time to talk or drop in and visit.

and i realize this attempt of mine might come off as pity, but it's really not--
you are still in my thoughts.

take care.

[greatwhitedope1]

Well, like i said, youre one of the people at UMBC who still talk to me. I should be able to walk fine within the month...i hope. Once im able, im going to the gym everyday so that i can be strong enough to ski when the season starts. I dont know if ill be able to though, its really got me bummed. I know you have a full schedule, you always do. Im not upset with you in the least, im just upset with a few other people. Thanks for all the nice-ities though. Always appreciated. :-D

[anonymous]

i actually know to the dot how you're feeling right now -when i left salisbury, it was the same thing, and for a time when i would go up and visit for a weekend, the drive home was one of the hardest things to do, i did not want to leave those people behind and come back to the miserable world of sorrow and cocaine which is our hometown

yes

[pennies5]

Barker is right. yes I said it barker is right. 101%. god damnit. lol. things are shit. things are great. but fuck it we alright. hey that rhymed. I guess we should play crazy for a second. find a heavy populated area and leaf pile and just plop in it and fucking enjoy it. If you dont enjoy it then maybe you should see someone. or maybe I should. I dont know.

<3
*Rach*

Re: yes

[greatwhitedope1]

Ha. You agreed with Barker. Now you need a shower. Sounds like fun... maybe ill do that when the leaves on the... Oh wait, there are no trees here. I think there are maybe 5 somewhere around here.

[greatwhitedope1]

WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!

Anyhoo, I know what youre saying. But the problem is, i live 5 minutes, if that, from campus. And everyone i know has a car. Its just annoying that everyones so close and they still dont talk to me.

What have you been up to man? Havent see you in forever.

[q42]

come hang with me! I'm only what hundredes or thousands of miles away?

[greatwhitedope1]

I think its something like 1500 miles. When i can walk again, ill start. Actually, my roomate's parents live in Colorado and i was going to go with him in january for some good skiing.

[q42]

ahhh...
wrong decade we haven't gotten a good snow season in awile..

[anonymous]

You know that if I wasn't such a loser and actually had a car that I would come visit you and I would steal you away to go do fun things like we used to do. And I would make you listen to Silly Songs by Larry, because its good for your soul. You know I love you dearheart and I am always here for you if you would just open up and talk to me...
Mouah!
Strawberry

[greatwhitedope1]

Hush you. There will be no silly songs, and certainly no larries. Ill open up if you do the same, hippocrite. :-p