Moments Chapter 4
Title: Moments
Pairing: Tegomasu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, slight Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anyone else in this story. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: It's basically quite simple: Masuda falls in love with Tegoshi and even though Tegoshi is in love with him, too, there are some problems and obstacles they'll have to overcome. It starts in November of 2006, shortly before their trip to Sweden.
A/N: Its progress is on hold, I guess. Massu is hurt, Tegoshi is clueless. This chap is angsty. Well, there was way too much fluff in the one before, right?
I hope you have fun reading *coughes* ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Moment: How does is feel
Second Moment: Close to You
Third Moment: What's never been mine...
Fourth Moment: Turn around
This was unreasonable.
Ridiculous, insane, hilarious and so damn unreasonable at the same time.
Saying something like that was jus so like Masuda, Tegoshi thought and clenched his fingers into the fabric of his muffler on his lap. To announce a confession was just so senseless, because it had been a confession already. Doing something like that really was unreasonable.
“Tegoshi…?” Koyama’s soft voice reached his ear and he turned his head, smiled at the older one. “Are you okay?”
Tegoshi nodded. “Everything’s fine.”
After Masuda had said that sentence it had remained silent between them. Masuda had looked at him, Tegoshi had stared back, more afraid of any actions Masuda could have taken than of his words.
But Masuda had just softly said: “I really love you, Yuya.”
It had sounded nice, had made Tegoshi’s heart skip a beat. The way Masuda had said his name, had looked at him. It had struck down his chest, straight to his heart.
What was he supposed to do? Tegoshi really wanted to hit something, unwrap those feelings inside him that clenched his heart too tight. He had wanted to answer Masuda, say something, just anything, but he could not have.
Masuda had kissed him.
Tegoshi closed his eyes and tried to oppress a desperate sigh.
It had been the moment when Tegoshi had panicked and had pushed Masuda away. He thought that time Masuda had been the one to bang his head against the wall from Tegoshi’s abrupt push against him, but the younger one hadn’t been able to care; he had just felt trapped and afraid.
So he had left in a rush, without giving Masuda the slightest chance to go after him and hold him back or stop him.
That’s how he ended up here; in Koyama’s car, feeling sorrowful glances of him every ten seconds.
Koyama had passed by chance and as he had spotted the younger boy he had offered him a ride home. Tegoshi would not have refused it at any rate.
“Have you been at Massu’s?”
Tegoshi nodded.
Koyama bit his lip, concentrated on the traffic for a moment. “Did you guys fight?”
Looking up, the brunette shook his head. “No, not at all.”
“You seem a little down.”
A smile spread across Tegoshi’s face. “Massu’s beaten me in the video game we were playing. It preys a bit on my mind.”
Koyama laughed. “Oh, that’s bad.”
“He didn’t let me have revenge.”
“So, that’s why you’ve fought?”
Tegoshi shook his head. “I told you we didn’t. I wouldn’t start a fight at his home where his family would notice. Neither would Massu do that at my home.”
“Well, that doesn’t leave you much option to get into a fight in the first place, because it’s not appropriate at work, as well.” The older one lifted an eyebrow and turned into another street.
Tegoshi looked up as his home came in sight. “We don’t really fight. I guess just one time when we’ve been at Massu’s apartment, but that was about food, or something? I don’t know anymore; it could have been…”
“Wait”, Koyama interrupted and stopped in front of Tegoshi’s home. “Massu has an apartment?”
The younger male seemed slightly puzzled. “He had it for a while now. Though, he doesn’t spend that much time there.”
Koyama sighed and formed a pout with his lips. “Why do you know such things about Massu and I don’t? And why did he invite you over and not me?”
Tegoshi smiled at Koyama’s behaviour. It was so typically him. Then he turned his head and faced his hands in his lap. The answer to those questions was quite simple. Tegoshi bit his bottom lip.
“Because I am his best friend.”
“Tegoshi, you’re behind again!”
It’s been two days already but Tegoshi hadn’t been able to gather himself at all. They had rehearsals this day and it was the first time he saw Masuda again since that… encounter.
He bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”
Masuda watched him with a sorrowful look. Of course, he knew why Tegoshi wasn’t concentrated and behind in the steps. He always had problems with learning the steps for their choreographies, but he had become better already, so it was like he was back to zero suddenly.
Ryo patted the younger boys head as they walked over to a bench to take a short break. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Masuda will help you out again.”
Masuda wondered if Tegoshi would just start to cry as he saw his look now, but the brunette seemed to pull himself together, lifted his head and smiled at Ryo. “He won’t have to.” With that he grabbed his bottle of water and excused himself, leaving the room.
Koyama looked after him, then at Masuda whose look had gone into the same direction.
Yamashita sat next to Koyama and the older one leaned in to him. “I suppose those two had a fight.”
Yamashita lifted his head and stared at him. “Ryo-chan and Tegoshi-kun?”
“Eh?” Koyama looked at Ryo now, puzzled. “Do you think so?”
“I thought you’d know it.”
Shaking his head, the redhead turned to Yamashita again. “I meant Masuda and Tegoshi.”
Yamashita looked at Masuda for a moment, then he got up and walked over to him, sitting down beside him. “Massu, what’s wrong with Tegoshi?”
Koyama sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. That wasn’t as inconspicuous as he had planned to be to find out what was going on. But he should have known it better.
He’d been talking to Yamapi.
Masuda looked at the band leader and forced a smile. “I think it’s just because we didn’t have to dance for a while. You know, Tegomasu is not dancing.”
Yamashita got up again and looked at Koyama. “You see, it’s all fine.”
Masuda looked at Koyama; Koyama shrugged his shoulders with an apologetic smile.
Rubbing his hand over Masuda’s hair, Yamashita frowned and pulled his hand back. “Massu, you have quite a huge lump there”, he just noticed and touched the back of Masuda’s head again, as Tegoshi came back into the room.
Masuda took a glimpse at Tegoshi, whose look instantly became guilty and smiled at Yamashita. “It’s nothing. I was being clumsy again…”
Kato threw him a look from his left. “You should be more careful. This really looks quite bad.”
“It doesn’t hurt that much.” Actually, it was giving him a bad headache right now. But Masuda decided to not just blame the bruise for it; he’d have a headache without it; that’s for sure.
They continued their training and after they were finished, they all hurried to get changed and go home. Ryo and Yamashita left first and as Tegoshi wanted to leave next, Masuda turned to him.
“Tegoshi-kun, wait a moment, okay?”
The younger boy stopped and looked at Masuda. “I don’t have much time to talk or…”
“You forgot this the other day at my place.” The raven-haired held up the video game Tegoshi had completely forgotten about in his rush. “I thought you might want it back.”
Tegoshi took it, and his fingers lightly touched Masuda’s. He quickly pulled back and put the game into his handbag. “Thanks.”
Masuda nodded and just turned around to get dressed.
For a moment, Tegoshi remained were he was, stared at the older boy’s back and bit his lip again. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say. An apology? An explanation? A confession in return?
Tegoshi didn’t know what to say, since he didn’t even know what he felt, so he just sighed slightly and left then without saying any other word.
Koyama and Kato exchanged a look.
“A depressed Tegoshi is rare, isn’t it, Shige?”
The younger one nodded. “I wonder what happened to make him that down.”
“He probably had a fight with someone”, Koyama speculated.
Kato looked at Masuda who was not reacting at all to what they were saying. “He probably has problems and doesn’t know whom to talk to.”
Ignoring them, Masuda packed his things up and made his way out of the room.
He had been stupid to think he wouldn’t lose anything. Tegoshi had been his friend, his very best, actually. How could he have thought he had nothing to lose since Tegoshi had never been his in the first place?
Tegoshi was his in a way. The only best friend for him, the most important one out of all.
Confessing his love for him, Masuda had risked that friendship and of course, now he had completely lost it.
Tegoshi couldn’t even look him in the eye; it was awkward between them.
As he reached the train station he saw Tegoshi sitting at one of the benches, rubbing his hands warm. Unsure what to do, Masuda stayed were he was with his back facing Tegoshi.
He didn’t have the courage to walk over and sit down next to him. He wanted to talk, to make Tegoshi understand, but as for now his bruise was still too fresh. It still hurt too much to face Tegoshi and hear him rejecting Masuda with words.
His actions had already been enough of a rejection.
The younger one looked over as Masuda turned away from him and sighed. He wasn’t sure what to do, either. He wanted things between them going back to their normal state, but he that would mean he’d have to face what happened. Face, that Masuda loved him.
This was stupid, Tegoshi thought then; it was Massu after all. Tegoshi could talk to Masuda about everything; they were friends, so they would find a solution for this. Or at least manage to talk normally.
With a heavy feeling, though, Tegoshi got up and nervously walked over to stand beside Masuda.
“Does your head hurt?”
Masuda tried to look not too surprised about Tegoshi’s presence next to him. He shook his head. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” The younger one looked at him. “I was just so surprised and probably overacted.”
“No, I should not have done that.”
They both fell into silence again.
“I don’t know what to answer”, Tegoshi said then.
“I’ve already gotten my answer, I guess.” Masuda tugged his light blue jacket over his hips. It was suddenly colder.
Tegoshi couldn’t refuse that Masuda was right. His reaction had been definite. “I’m sorry, Massu, I really didn’t mean to push you away.”
For a moment Masuda couldn’t answer. What were those excuses about? Tegoshi would have answered his words, responded to the kiss if he hadn’t meant to push Masuda away, wouldn’t he?
Now, he lifted his head and looked at Tegoshi. “It’s okay, Tegoshi. I’m really sorry for what happened. I should not have done it.”
“Did you listen, Massu?” Tegoshi gripped his arm.
A train came in and stopped, people coming out, people hurrying inside.
They both remained as they were; Tegoshi holding onto Masuda’s arm; Masuda facing away from him.
“You should go in, Tegoshi. Otherwise you’ll have to wait for an hour.”
The younger one’s expression seemed troubled, worried as he looked at Masuda. “Massu…”
Masuda turned and changed their positions; now having hold of Tegoshi’s arm and pulling him to the train.
“Massu, let’s not do that. Let’s talk about it.”
Masuda pushed him into the train and finally built up the courage to look at the younger boy. He forced a smile.
“Well, Tegoshi, I’ve been rejected and right now it’s still too painful for me”, he said and took a step back. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
The doors closed and with a heavy sigh Masuda watched the train leaving, Tegoshi looking at him with hurt eyes.
He stayed, long after the train was already gone and out of his vision.
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I'm sorry again. But thanks for reading, though. It can only get better from this point on, huh?