Guess my journal seems pretty boring to people who see it. But let me tell all of you I am far from boring I think. No one has actually told me so but I think I am quite an interesting person to know. Not that many people know me and what makes me tick. Just family mostly. I don't really take the time to go and meet very many people. I am feeling a ( Read more... )

just found out today my Dad's lung cancer diagnosis is positive. Yep 100% pure unadulterated cancer. It's possibly at stage two which is better than four but worse than one what ever that means. I don't even know if it has spread anywhere else. We won't know until mid August if it has. Why ,why ,why,. All I can ask is why. So far I am handling it ( Read more... )

I would love to write some of my poetry on here but I am so afraid someone might steal it or something. Not that anyone reads this stupid journal anyways. I am in serious need of some friends. I called a friend the other day that I haven't spoken to in ten years. Not much has changed with her. It is so amazing how much things change but they stay ( Read more... )

Happiness is bliss but only for so long. If you don't pay attention it will roll right past you with out you even knowing it. Seems like I have been pretty depressed from the way this journal looks but actually I have had some pretty happy days. Just been too damn happy to write them down. Bought myself some new red nail polish for my tootsies. ( Read more... )

What the hell is up with parents? They bring you into this fucked up world and then act like it's your fault for being born. I have finally come to the conclusion that my mom has cast the last stone. She has totally cast me out of her life. Ever since she got breast cancer and became what she calls a christian she has placed her judgements on me ( Read more... )

I am soooo bored. Went outside to stare at the moon, expected it to tell me something I've never heard before. What a waste of time. It just sat there and stared back at me as if I were some kind of freak. It was fun though. Guess I can always go take a sleeping pill and just go to sleep. But even that has become boring. I need to reinvent myself. ( Read more... )

Well, today was Mother's Day. Of course as luck would have it I got to work on this glorious day of all days. Oh well at least I didn't have to work all day. Just had to go in this morning at 9:00 and again this evening at 6:00. I guess I can't complain. I got a really nice ring from Rick and the kids. It's quite impressive to look at. Has nine ( Read more... )

I guess I've been away too long. I must have been really busy or something. Maybe I am just making up excuses for not updating my journal. Oh,who cares anyway. I just got over a week of pure hell and the ants won't stop biting my fucking feet. guess I'll go have a cup of chai and watch the little bastards die as they drink 409. I won't be gone too ( Read more... )

I found out today that my dad might have lung cancer. My parents weren't even going to tell anyone. What kind of shit is that. I had a dream once that he died and no one told me until three days later and I lived in the same town. Maybe dreams do come true. I hope in this case they don't. I really don't know how to feel right now. I am kind of numb ( Read more... )

Okay, so this is my first post. I guess it's sort of a celebration.I may find the light at the end of my dark tunnel and come out with a whole new outlook on things, who knows. I hope my keyboard holds up though. My daughter spilled water on it a few days ago and blamed it on the cat. Part of me wants to believe her because the cat in question is ( Read more... )