i realized how negative and unhappy i always am by reading entries from the past. hm how to fix that?

i read something today that made me think. im in the spot that i never wanted to be. i dont understand anything right now and it sucks big time. i feel like my whole life has been turned upside down. and its not just him. its loss and the thought of not knowing what will come in the next few months. everything in my life has changed so quickly. it ( Read more... )

i really hate myself i really do

old i know. i feel crappy. it is hard getting up in the morning. physically. i decided to start working out hardcore again. i just dont know when. but my goal is half than last time so it should take half the work. i have less than a month left of school. im ready to graduate. but i still have another semester plus the summer. im on overdrive. ive ( Read more... )

...podcast your bastard ass from coast to coast. funny. its strange coming back to these writings. i was looking at the last two entries and they made me smile. well the last one made me feel pretty good. just to think how different things were back then. only 3 months ago. so much has happened. i havent written anything on keni. i dont know if i ( Read more... )

babe. Something about that word just gets me. im at work. im getting out early to go to school to observe this troublesome kid. i have a lot of work to do. i have a project due on monday and i havent even looked at what i have to do for it. my classmates were yelling at me cuz i hadnt even started. they were telling me that it was a lot of work and ( Read more... )

I went grocery shopping yesterday. I decided the other day that i wanted to make some cookies out of scratch. the thing is i've never done that. so tonight im going to make some cookies. chocolate chip and pecan chocolate chip. we were discussing gingerbread men and cookies at school the other day and ever since then, ive wanted to make some ( Read more... )

this new lj is weird. theres a lot going on ( Read more... )

its fair to say that i want respect. thats all we want/need right? so how come people dont like to understand it ( Read more... )

and so i come back. with the same thoughts as before. i only come here to tell of my pain, and it shouldnt be that way. but i cant help it. i have nowhere else to go. not even the music helps. which means a lot because i could always count on it on times like these. i dont even know if i want to get to it. i know whats going on and so does everyone ( Read more... )