to the core. looking to be found and not having a bit of direction. this past week has been harsh. we all know what happens when the heart loses its way. everything else becomes obscure and distant. theres little perception and everything is done to run away from the pain and the emotions. i never thought i would have to be here. ever. how shameful ( Read more... )

havent been on here in a while but i have thoughts that are leading to bad choices. so i need my carrie moment of reflecting and saying what i have to say. if a relationship ends, why is there always a bad guy? why does the winner take it all? why do i keep making decisions that make me the bad guy. my brother is always saying that some people make ( Read more... )

here again. back to the place that holds all my worries. since the last time i was here, things have changed again as always. ive been substituting since i graduated. i found a permanent job with great kids. rowdy and energetic, but i learned to love them. they were incredibly smart and active. i have been getting my bilingual certification so i ( Read more... )

It gets lonely behind these walls. the days are beautiful and i seem to notice and enjoy them more than ever. its a nice feeling that i know will not last. the hot summer will catch up with this beautiful spring weather. im in the same spot i was in 3 months ago but now its hitting harder. the feeling leaves nothing behind. im lost. motivation to ( Read more... )

he may now be in you, but im still on you. ive got proof.

its coming to an end. everything pretty much is on its final days. im scared. im lonely. im crazy. i have two weeks left of school. i have less than one month until i graduate. i need to find a job. i passed my tests. i can teach now in texas. my gpa has reached a 3.0. im working really hard to get to where i need to be. not where i want to be. im ( Read more... )

Strange how some people have moved on and away. and im still here. just here. i have a reason with school and all but i know im not going anywhere once im done. im not so sure yet if it is a good thing or not. i think its mostly fear that will keep me here. that and my family. and the past. i always wanted to be a traveler. i never wanted to stay. ( Read more... )

i need someone really badly right now.

i dont know where else to go. im at work and almost crying. i cant handle it. its too much. i notice it even more. i need to get out of here. im going crazy. im about to explode. its not supposed to be like this. i need to stop riding the bike. dfgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesfd htyjdffffffffffffffffffff ghrtrte vh hnbbbbbbbbbbbbbctyduj, ( Read more... )

weird how time passes by and how things change so fast. thats been the story of my life for the past 5 years. things arent so great right now. well they never are. but they are getting better. there is hope. im not writing to say that i hate my life or that it sucks right now. it isnt all that great but i see a good side. my parents got me a car. a ( Read more... )