Damn... p0wnage. Am I just really dense or something? Is this common knowledge that I have just been completely out of the loop about? It's like the "Are unicorns extinct?" This American Life episode.
i would like to represent for the homo nation, though -- girls and girls, when the queer is involved, DEFINITELY also have the problem of "one person wants to be more than friends, one person doesn't" or conversely "there is sexual tension! OH NOES."
i am lazy, tired, etc, but i will elucidate at a later date.
i'd like to add a tick to the "not wanting to fuck grace" group. i've always always always had more girl friends than guy friends; i find them easier to relate to in emotional and intellectual ways-- and these things matter to me.
first off (and less importantly), introduction context plays a big role. im likely to feel differently about people i meet in different settings-- at a dance or cafe versus in a school.
as a friend of mine put it, "just about any guy is horny enough to have sex with just about any girl." i agree. but! and this is rather crucial! that doesn't mean that this "just about any" guy considers a relationship (friendly or otherwise) even a chance for sex, or that they've even considered it. with my female friends, its simply something that has never crossed my mind. its sort of like incest: you are obviously equipped to fuck your sister. the thought is just not one that comes up.
on the other hand, MAYBE MY PENIS JUST ISNT LARGE ENOUGH!!!1
OR someone might have called you gay. Because, you know, when someone does that YOUR BALLS FALL OFF!
Although I must take this opportunity to piggyback off of what ariellabella said (and sorry for posting this outside that thread, but I didn't want to overspam this entry with comments, heh). Gay men oftentimes have trouble keeping friendships with other gay men. Usually one will initiate contact with another in a specifically gay environment only when he's sexually/physically interested in the other, and that's usually how specifically gay/gay friendships are born. Any physical interest that shows up in one direction obviously makes things difficult for both people involved. Add in some other complications (some men want to have long-lasting monogamous relationships resembling marriages while others want to share a bed with a new man every night, and anything in between those two), and you have a disaster brewing
( ... )
It's funny you point out that you have more girl friends than guy friends. Do you think part of that could be that girls supposedly mature both emotionally and intellectually sooner than guys? I mean, you're a bright guy... maybe you were just in line with the development of girls. I'd be interested to see your friend group 10-20 years from now.
Incidentally, in high school all my close friends were girls. Now that I'm in college, 90% of my friends or at least the ones I hang out with/like a lot/are close to are male.
So for you, does the desire to take friendship to the next level develop slowly or is that something that happens instantly? Maybe you have a female set of ladders.
My brother, Lev - who is also an intelligent, idiosyncratic, emo male whom Alex reminds me of - also has more female friends than male. We were talking about it at Rosh Hashana dinner: I said that although I'm interested in (specific) guys, it's hard to approach them just because I've always hung out with girls, feel infinitely more comfortable around them, etc. Lev: "Yeah, I relate more to girls too." Me: "I think women are just all-around better than men." (pause) Lev: "It's so true." He's also had his share of actual girlfriends, very distinct from his female friends. Don't know if that sheds any light on your research, but this is all interesting, so go Grace.
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I heard that in the lab!
...I'm not the only one who listens...
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i am lazy, tired, etc, but i will elucidate at a later date.
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first off (and less importantly), introduction context plays a big role. im likely to feel differently about people i meet in different settings-- at a dance or cafe versus in a school.
as a friend of mine put it, "just about any guy is horny enough to have sex with just about any girl." i agree. but! and this is rather crucial! that doesn't mean that this "just about any" guy considers a relationship (friendly or otherwise) even a chance for sex, or that they've even considered it. with my female friends, its simply something that has never crossed my mind. its sort of like incest: you are obviously equipped to fuck your sister. the thought is just not one that comes up.
on the other hand, MAYBE MY PENIS JUST ISNT LARGE ENOUGH!!!1
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Although I must take this opportunity to piggyback off of what ariellabella said (and sorry for posting this outside that thread, but I didn't want to overspam this entry with comments, heh). Gay men oftentimes have trouble keeping friendships with other gay men. Usually one will initiate contact with another in a specifically gay environment only when he's sexually/physically interested in the other, and that's usually how specifically gay/gay friendships are born. Any physical interest that shows up in one direction obviously makes things difficult for both people involved. Add in some other complications (some men want to have long-lasting monogamous relationships resembling marriages while others want to share a bed with a new man every night, and anything in between those two), and you have a disaster brewing ( ... )
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Incidentally, in high school all my close friends were girls. Now that I'm in college, 90% of my friends or at least the ones I hang out with/like a lot/are close to are male.
So for you, does the desire to take friendship to the next level develop slowly or is that something that happens instantly? Maybe you have a female set of ladders.
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Don't know if that sheds any light on your research, but this is all interesting, so go Grace.
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