For the first time in my life, I've come to realise that my dad would have gone far as a stand-up comedian. We were driving home from lunch when a radio ad came up for somewhere telling us to buy a forensics kit for our children for the holidays. This got my dad started on making fun of the product. His performance went something like this ( Read more... )

I have a craving to write something, but I just can't put my thoughts together. I want to read Fear and Loathing but my attention span isn't on my side tonight. I want to watch a movie but I don't feel like sitting and having to follow a plot. I want to draw but I have no talents. I want to clean my room but I don't want to get up. I want to surf ( Read more... )

I had to pee in a cup this morning. It sure is great to wake up with an empty cup on the floor and a note that says,

'PLEASE PEE HERE FOR THE DOCTOR.'

Ah yes, mom, how kind of you. You even left a little note, how cute. Let me start this off on the outwardly wrong foot by saying how fucking hard it is to pee into that cup without getting any on ( Read more... )

Who thinks it's silly that I'm writing an essay/thing on Hunter S. Thompson to enter as my contribution to the Scholastic Writing Awards? *raises hand and says Aye* Then again, if I can pull it off by January 10th, it might just be able to kick some ass. So now it's time for show and tell. Give me some random/cool/bizarre/anything Hunter Thompson ( Read more... )

Everybody please welcome lanenire to my friends list. She's knew, so go on over and make her feel welcome. She is also obsessed with Johnny Depp. Teehee...

Jen is brilliant. We were talking about 'Scars,' my up-and-coming POTC Jack fic (about those lovely scars), and we came to a massive revelation. I have two pictures of Johnny staring at me from my wall right next to the computer, and in both of them he's got on a tank top. His Jack Sparrow tattoo is clearly visible ( Read more... )

On the orientation for the High School, everyone got these enormous extra, extra, EXTRA large white tee shirts that have the school name and some other stuff on the front in green letters; school colors. Nobody ever wore them because they're way too big. Nobody, that is, until I decided to cut the neck WAY bigger and wear the shirt with a red belt ( Read more... )

I went to the orthodontist and that bulshitter said I'd have my braces off by spring, which is highly unlikely since my teeth aren't really...moving. At all. But whatever, at least they'll be pretty when they decide to stop being stubborn and move their asses ( Read more... )

How the FUCK is Hunter S. Thompson still alive?!?

I come to you with strange fire, I make an offering of love ( Read more... )