Comments | gutterboylive: Well, that was quick

gutterboylive

Well, that was quick

Feb 06, 2007 09:50

This is not from the Onion.

Haggard Now "Completely Heterosexual"

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual ( Read more... )

Comments 12

ludickid February 6 2007, 18:03:13 UTC

Whew! Thank goodness. I'm glad he's eliminated all the trace homosexuality that was still present in his bloodstream.

It was the acting-out situations where things took place.

Sure. Some kids throw pudding or make faces, others have anal sex with speed dealers.

ms_daisy_cutter February 7 2007, 02:46:49 UTC

/falls off chair

velveteenlounge February 6 2007, 18:26:31 UTC

Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology.

Yeah, the Onion probably wouldn't have come up with something this farfetched!

ortho_bob February 6 2007, 18:36:12 UTC

This is nonsense. It takes at least four weeks to flush the gay bug out of your body even using extra-strength Jesus-blessed degayifying juice.

sunfell February 6 2007, 18:42:24 UTC

Yeah, right. The Gay is hardwired into the brain. I dare him to stay 'de-gayed' for more than six months.

gutterboylive February 6 2007, 21:02:33 UTC

But he wasn't gay to start with! It was just "acting out." You know, some men reach a certain age, and it's all hairplugs and Porsches. Others, it's crystal meth and male hookers.

Really, I think you need to read for COMPREHENSION.

sunfell February 6 2007, 21:44:07 UTC

Exactly. Why, I know when I'm acting out - you know, if, say, Hubby puts the toilet paper on the roll facing the wrong direction, or I'm caught in the emotional quagmire of being a religious zealot declaring hellfire and damnation on anyone who has the same urges I find myself having - the first thing I do is buy some crack and have a lesbian encounter with a prostitute. It's only natural.

As an aside, my amusement wasn't from the psych plans, but that apparently his church leaders were the ones to encourage him to move on to a secular career. That shows how confident they are in his new 100% hetero role, doesn't it? If they truly believed in salvation and "conversion" and whatnot, wouldn't they be hauling him back on stage to rule the roost again?

BTW - my fave article on the Haggard thing is the respone to the first letter here http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0646,savage,75030,24.html

Renee

crankycatlady February 6 2007, 20:58:06 UTC

Oh good. I guess he can go fight in Iraq now.