Home sweet home.

I hate being disappointed. But it's not surprising.

I don't know. I think I just have to have faith. Easier said than done, but i have no choice. Especially now. Hasn't gotten better. I'm different. A completely different person. A better person I think. It's been a very hard year. Refined by fire though, right? One year...

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I am super excited!

I was in a super good mood today. Super good and super excited. Now I'm just irritated and a little pissed off. As fun as it has been sittin here waiting to leave for the past 5 hours, I'm thinking maybe sticking to the plan may have been a better idea. But this isn't about me...oh wait...

This is why I am ready to leave. This is why I need to

I'm considering playing another fun little game. Is it too mean? Maybe. But no worse than deserved. So maybe one more game.

So I guess it is good to know what I figured was the case. And in the end I win because I know what you think has eluded me. I know what I expected I knew. And I know where we stand now. I cannot say that I'm glad I was right, but I'll take the victory nonetheless.

Funny thing lying is. Funny thing.

Maybe I should have let it happen 3 months ago. It may have hurt less. Who really knows though. I sure don't. I do know that right choice or wrong choice, I could have handled last weekend better. I should have handled it better. And it started so well...

Going to Cedar the last couple of days was so nice. I feel just as confused as ever, but at least I got one good weekend. That is something, right ( Read more... )

It has become clear to me that I am torturing myself. The fact that I still feel the knife in my gut tells me that I haven’t dealt with it as much as I think I have. I still keep praying about it, I still dream about it, and I still can be reduced to tears over it. At some point this will pass and I just have to have faith and wait. Wait.