♕ |[65]| Some are plain lucky-- we ourselves among them

[had_not_lived]

I'm always glad to see this, but it's a doubly welcome change from the past week. I didn't really try to leave the City while it was... moving, I suppose you could say, but from everything I read and saw on the Network it didn't seem like the other worlds were any safer than the City

Comments

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

[Once he finds himself back in the City, it only seems sensible to go to NeilandTodd's apartment (Justin is too afraid to go back to the one Shilo should be in, just in case she's not).

Knock knock knock.]

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

Interesting.

[But it sounds par for the course and Neil and Todd are fine.]

Could you effect the worlds? With... with actions? Or were they alterable with thought?

[action]

[had_not_lived]

[Neil and Todd have long since learned that caution is advisable; they kept to their business. Nothing ventured, but nothing lost either.]

People were supposed to find items; things the Deities wanted. I think there was a way home, supposedly, for whoever collected enough.

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

No one found a way home, did they? The deities promise it and never follow through.

You would think they could find a way to keep us here--if we asked. Permanently. If they need us so badly.

[action]

[had_not_lived]

I don't know. For me-- [He laughs, softly; it's at his own expense, but not bitter.] I'm not trying to escape, so I don't follow people's progress.

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

I didn't either. [Now then.] Can I tell you something?

[action]

[had_not_lived]

Of course.

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

What I said at first--I'm sorry. But I think I've learned something about what happens.

[He looks at Neil expectantly for a cue to either continue or jump to a less discomforting topic.]

[action]

[had_not_lived]

[Neil's gaze flicks away briefly; it's certainly not a topic he likes thinking about, though these days it's a much milder aversion. Still, it calls into focus the fact that someday-- presumably-- he, too, will leave.]

Tell me about it.

[More because Justin wants to talk than because he wants to hear, really.]

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

[Justin needs to talk about it with someone. It's selfish and a terrible thing to do on days like this, but a person can only take so much time alone with their minds before they need to talk to someone else.]

At first it was... terrible. A perpetual nightmare. I didn't--I won't describe it, but after I saw you last, I realized I could change it. It's--

[He shakes his head.]

I'm sorry. It's hard to explain, but it doesn't have to be the way it--the way it starts. I've figured it out. Death--the experience of it, I mean--is something that can be controlled. Altered. I just wanted you to know that. It might be different for everyone, but if the experience of death depends upon the expectations and thoughts of the person experiencing it... it's good to know.

...Sorry. You shouldn't have to leave. I hope you won't.

[action]

[had_not_lived]

I'm not planning on it. [There's a little sigh in the edge of his voice. This is one of the few things that still scares Neil Perry.] But of course it's not that easy. Still. I think-- thank you, for telling me.

[It's almost funny, he thinks, for a dead boy to be afraid to die. At least he's learned from his mistakes.] If I had to leave, maybe I could go with the one who comes here. [He cracks a sad smile at the thought.]

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

Maybe.

[Justin stares at Neil in a way that would normally be considered creepy. In this case, it's just Justin being himself and trying to figure out what's going on in Neil's head and what's behind the smile-that-isn't-really-a-smile.]

...You didn't want to know, did you? You don't want to think about it. [He pushes his hair back nervously.] I can't think about anything else. Death, you, Todd, Shilo-- [He wants to ask, but he doesn't want to know the answer] --there's not much else.

[action]

[had_not_lived]

Of course I don't like to think about it. But I do, from time to time.

[He sighs a little, leaning back. Justin giving him a creepy look doesn't faze him; it must be strange, coming and going from whatever the afterlife is to this place every few months.]

But I want you to be able to say what you need to, you shouldn't try to spare my feelings.

[action]

[absinthe_eyed]

I shouldn't drop in on you every three months and talk about the thing you'd least like to discuss, either.

[There's a small smile.] You and Todd... you're both good friends. The best I've had.

[action] BAWWWW I miss Justin! also YOU <3

[had_not_lived]

[Neil smiles back, a bit wider. Justin's told him enough that he doesn't doubt it's true, but it means a lot to hear him say it.]

We're always glad you're back, it doesn't matter what you want to talk about.

[action] THERE IS MUTUAL MISSING of all kinds! ;-;

[absinthe_eyed]

In that case, I need to ask you a question.

[It can't be a terribly serious question since Justin doesn't look all that serious.]