What Is Love? Baby, Don't Hurt Me. Don't Hurt Me. No More.

[hahha_innuendo]

Good news, everyone! Fantastically fresh hot-off-the press news! Firstly, I'm back from that painful business vac-- business trip to the Virgin Islands! Secondly, I'm getting married

Comments

[hahha_innuendo]

Thank you, I know you're sorely disappointed, practically heartbroken to see me snatched up by another, but I hope you'll be able to move on. Things probably wouldn't have worked between us anyhow. We come from such different, not-the-same worlds. Know that I'll remember you fondly.

[hahha_innuendo]

You're a strong woman.

[hahha_innuendo]

Of course it's a good idea! My heart swells around her, my body throbs and things get so intense. I've only felt this way for, oh, two, maybe three women before. You'll have to be my best man, Offdensen! I'm considering a seaside wedding with a glass skylight to keep the seagulls at bay.

[croozin]

How is that good news? That sounds like bad news. I can get everything out of a relationship with a girlfriend that I can with a wife. Plus that way I'm not tied down!

[hahha_innuendo]

Oh, the words of a man who's never been beaten down and hogtied by love. You remind me so much of myself at your age. Young, strong, the world at my feet and a fire in my loins. Add to that some classy aging and billions of dollars and you'd have myself as I am today. So I know you'll understand someday.

[croozin]

I'm never getting married. I can pretty much guarantee that one. There's enough "love" to be had in a couple of hours to last me a lifetime. Plus then I don't have to take care of anybody. Women or children. It's a win-win situation.

[ihatesoccer]

Marriage is a waste of time and beer.

[hahha_innuendo]

Not true! And the best weddings are a more a celebration of beer than a waste of it.

[industrial_pink]

Maybe its because I'm young, but I can't imagine committing myself to only one person for the rest of my life.

[hahha_innuendo]

I have the heart of a romantic beating inside this toned, muscular chest of mine. All my life, I've been stockpiling wealth, and it's never brought me love. Mountains of nice things and plenty of happiness, of course, but never love.