http://www.break.com/movie-trailers/showgirls-2-the-return---redband-trailer.htmlRead more... )

Did Showgirls win an Oscar? 'Cause it totally deserved one. If it didn't, well then, that is the biggest travesty since Marky Mark left the Funky Bunch.  It's practically one of the best movies of our generation. I mean, it's got hot women. And breasts. And catfights. And that annoying chick from Saved By The Bell. (Kelly Kapowski was so much ( Read more... )

Wow. It's a really bad time to be a celebrity.

First you've got the kung-fu guy. And then the big check guy. And then the king of pop. (Seriously, who didn't have the Thriller album and that jacket? Except when he went y'know...crazy. All because of that Pepsi commercial catching his hair on fire. See kids, this is why you don't play with fire! ( Read more... )

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This. Is the greatest commercial in existence. Fred Dryer and hot twins? It's like a dream come true. And they caught it all on tape! (And don't even bother to tell me that it's old. I know that. But I couldn't really get Youtube to work in space. Plus it's too fantastic not to share.)

Oh yeah! I'm supposed to finally go in to get this damn halo ( Read more... )

Hey douche! Glad the second amendment protects your right to shoot me in the foot! Doctor told me to stay off of it for a little bit, so I've been on bed-rest. It hurts. Really bad. Pretty sure there were some tendons shot. So probably won't be doing anything physical within the next few weeks. Kind of not in the mood to play games. Catching up on ( Read more... )

I bet you're all wondering why I haven't updated this journal in a really really long time. ...It's complicated. ( Long-Ass Story In Here )

So, uh...what did I find out this weekend? Apparently an ex-girlfriend of mine just died of cancer. Which...kind of sad. Did not see that one coming. And not only did she get screwed out of the weekend, but also the holidays. Plus she had great tits. So, the world just lost a great pair of boobs. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Well I mean. ( Read more... )

Well this is fantastic. The election caught me off-guard. I did not see that one coming. So yeah...guess I'm out of a...well whatever the hell Stan is. A bitch? I don't know. I guess that's my technical term right now. 'Cause he pretty much had to do whatever I made him do. Except when he'd yell at me.So now I'm gonna have to look for a solution to ( Read more... )

Fantastic ( Read more... )

So, 10 years ago...or something; Stan told me I needed to come up with more ideas. Well, he told me that last year too. But that doesn't apply to this story. Mostly 'cause he liked to bitch about some stupid crap about how I was going to put us all out of business and I'm pissing on my parent's legacy. (Which, kind of a low-blow. Considering how ( Read more... )