in new york city lying on a loft bed in an apartment to myself with a cat listening to mew

i moved to najid's apartment today and it feels even more like i'm settling down here even though they'll only be gone for a few days and i'll be on a couch when his other roommate patrick comes back. i think about going back and i can't really find any comfort in familiarity right now. yes i miss my friends but i feel so much more at ease here ( Read more... )

i don't remember how long i've been away though i could easily count that i can't really be bothered because time is relative. i feel like i'm missing out a lot on my friends' lives even though i talk to them almost everyday but chatter in a group isn't talk. i find out tiny details at best about what's going on everything's just almost weightless ( Read more... )

i walked the streets of manhattan greeted with a sense of familiarity, going past familiar cross streets and buildings, najid's old dorm room, bowery and astor and everything in between, st mark's for dollar slices of pizza - i had five on my first day returning - bowery ballroom which i didn't get to see the last time. people here ask me what am i ( Read more... )

"a lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to."

"your mind is working at its best when you're being paranoid.
you explore every avenue and possibility of your situation
at high speed with total clarity.”- banksy ( Read more... )

i've been in los angeles for a little under a week and while i initially felt that i could possibly end up loving this city - contrary to my belief in death cab's why you'd want to live here - i've grown ridiculously restless that i almost suffered my first ever panic attack (not that i know what it actually feels like.) it must've been the joy of ( Read more... )

my last trip was to kinabalu, specifically to climb a mountain for the first time. like i said before, i never imagined doing something like that would change me as a person. i am well aware, and well accustomed to strenuous activities from all the sports and work that i do that it never occurred to me that something like this could affect me so ( Read more... )

i never imagined

the size of

your eyes reflected

the size of your heart

i never imagined

your silence spoke

so profoundly

i never imagined

i’d give up

you see

through slits

your silence overflowed

with emptiness

i gave up

nothing.

i never expected anything out of this trip, especially not how much it changed my life. i love everyone in the group, some of whom i met for the first time ( Read more... )

how do you cope with loss that....