I really, really thought I wasn't going to be upset or regretful about any of this.

I guess I was wrong.

Because I've been in a pretty shitty mood for awhile now.

my fucking life.

nough said.

I don't know what is happening to my world, but it's headed downhill in a fast motion.

structure and schedules and specific timing, even though I know it either won't work out or I won't follow it myself.

it's ridiculous.

I hate hate hate hate hate looking at old photos of other people.

If I never see them, it makes me feel like maybe they haven't changed all that much ( Read more... )

when you're car gets stuck in the mud, and the more you attempt to get out, the deeper you dig yourself in.

I don't know if I'm necessarily the driver in this situation...

...but I feel myself sinking in.

if when certain songs come on your shuffle, you think of me the way that I think of you.

Or do you just listen, with no feelings of me at all?

Or maybe you change the song, because that's not who you are anymore.

=/

so I can once again crawl underneath your blanket of security.

everything is always turned so upside down. It's about time things started working out.

and I still need a psychiatrist.

the most shed tears in MY ENTIRE LIFE.

goes to: the last 10 months.

I'm tearing my hair out, and no one even notices.

I'm not sure if that's what I want or not, but it's happening.

I'm so overly upset with life.

I know it's never about me anymore, and I'm still not sure if I'm happy or sad about that.

I'm still not speaking to you, I don't really plan on changing that anytime soon, because you really don't deserve it.

I never want to go back to school again.