I think I legitimately hate myself right in this moment. Henry sent me a snapchat and it was a cup of coffee and Bill and it said "two of my faves" with a heart eye emoji and my heart just fucking sank when I opened it. Why? What is wrong with me?? I don't want to have a problem with the fact they hang out a lot, but apparently I do. It's so stupid ( Read more... )

I need to be awake in 5 hours to go to work at a stupid early hour, but I just feel like shit. I can't sleep--not really tired, and I'm just in a weird place emotionally that is making me feel like I am jumping out of my skin. I want to find some way to expand my net and meet new people but everything I come up with that sounds fun is apparently a ( Read more... )

So now I have this stupid thing about feeling pathetic when it comes to my relationship with Henry and hanging out with him. I know he's trying and that should make me feel good. He listened to how I was feeling and is now taking visible steps address my complaints and make me feel better about our friendship. The thing is, and I fucking hate this ( Read more... )

Dear Friends ( Read more... )

I'm finding sleeping to be impossible right now for some reason. I really want to put on some headphones and go running to quiet my mind, but it's 1:30 in the morning and I don't particularly want to get killed tonight. (That's actually kind of funny because before sitting up and deciding to write this entry, I was picturing myself slitting my ( Read more... )

So today was OK with Henry, I guess. He was kind of irritating me while we were working together, but after I got off, I sat with him on his lunch and we talked and things were good. Then I went and did some shopping and we talked some more and things felt like normal again. He told me that we need to go to breakfast again soon because his ( Read more... )

I am trying to decide just how much I am willing to reach out to Henry. On the one hand, I want to feel normal again, and I know that this whole issue with him is acting as a major trigger in my life for my depression. I think mending our relationship and getting over the hurt is what will ultimately help me feel better in general, so I keep ( Read more... )

Why is it so much harder to journal when I am sad than when I am angry? I guess I just want to banish it from my mind. However, I am trying another new thing where I try and think about it and process it so that I can let it go. I wonder if it will work ( Read more... )

Dear Best Friend ( Read more... )

I received a message from my therapist yesterday and the clinic is changing their client policy, effective immediately. Long story short, she quit. I don’t even know what to do with this or how to process it. It seems awfully unethical for the clinic to make a policy change that would affect therapists enough that they’d need to quit immediately. ( Read more... )