I was dreaming, dreaming of you. I lay silently in your arms, your fingertips tracing over the side of my face. Our lips periodically touched, briefly joining us, making us one. I was warm, warm from your body against mine. I could see into your eyes, I could see your undying love me, I could see parts of myself, reflected back. I could hear you ( Read more... )

I haven't cried. I would like to. Almost three weeks have come and gone, and yet I am still alone. Yet somehow, I manage to be devoid of sadness. Something manifests itself deeper within. Anger. I am angry that he is gone again. I don't know if I am angry at the fact that he is gone, or at him for being gone. All I know is that happiness was ( Read more... )

Been awhile since I've updated, but I'm back from my trip to Oklahoma. Thomas is down there outprocessing from the Army and his case will be reviewed within the next couple of days. Hopefully that will all go well. It's only been a day since I've seen him, but I miss him already. Ah, the things living with your man will do to you ( Read more... )

Who would have known a year ago that I'd be here today. Living in the basement of my best friend's house with my boyfriend, struggling to get from paycheck to paycheck. Trying to make two people survive off of an income that I couldn't survive off of on my own. It's getting harder and harder to keep things together. But I have to. For him ( Read more... )

I got to sleep in to almost 10:00 this morning. This makes me happy because I'm so sick of having to wake up at 5:00 every morning to go to work. I probably would have slept later, but I was having a bad dream. I woke up next to Thomas though, and everything was okay. Things are actually starting to look up again ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder what I'm even here for. As human beings go, I'm finding myself more and more worthless every day. I no longer have the drive to do anything with my life. I dropped out of school again. The only thing I'm good at is my lame ass pet store job. My boyfriend's depression is really starting to get to me. I can't do this by myself but ( Read more... )

So life has become mildly depressing. The constant "fighting" with Thomas has started to tear me down. Everything has just been so wrong lately, his bitterness rubs off on me. I miss just smiling because I heard his voice. I just want to be able to talk to him again, but it's like he's not listening. I want to cry almost every night but I can't, ( Read more... )

So it's been a while since I've updated. I've moved out of my parents' house, it's liberating, yet depressing at the same time. I'm actually someplace I want to be, yet something just doesn't feel quite right. I went to Wal-mart and bought groceries for the first time, it made me feel old. The only thing that I miss at home is my dogs, but they're ( Read more... )

I feel so very worthless right now. I can't fix anything. I can't do anything. I can't talk to anyone because no one will understand. I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry.

So I worked from 9:00 AM to 10:15 PM tonight. I'm a little wore out, but the prospect of having a semi-decent paycheck is always motivation to work the extra hours. I'm trying to scrounge up some extra cash to buy myself a plane ticket, but the bills are hitting hard this month because of school. Well, I have enough to buy a plane ticket, but ( Read more... )