I have no idea why I would be writing a journal entry when I have two more papers to get done today, but I am. I think I just have too many thoughts and emotions spinning around in a whirlwind throughout my head. I'm so dizzy. I keep trying to relax, but nothing seems to work. I even keep trying to convince myself that everything is ok and that I ( Read more... )

I've been thinking lately, and it's precisely that which I figured my main problem is. I started reading this book that talked about knowledge and experience and how the two related to each other in general and overtime--how it has evolved or what not. Really interested... It talked about how there have been stages in history where most people tend ( Read more... )

Everyone today blows off the whole appearance and reality thing, for the most part. But it's actually a big deal, and probably always will be. I'm not sure if it's just me, something wrong in my head, but it's so hard to see the truth in things and people. You'd think that it would be easy. I don't even know what to believe anymore. I feel so worn ( Read more... )

I always try to convince people that I haven't changed. It's a lie, but not an intended one. It's just hard to see and to accept. But I think there is a core to people. I've been studying too much Lacan and reading too many existentialist philosophy books. I agree with most of it, but there is something missing and I think it's this core about ( Read more... )

I am a listener ( Read more... )

Letting go of anger is hard, but I've had practice--a life time of practice. However, It has never been as tough as it is now. I'm trying.
I don't want to understand why those closest to me hurt me greatly and don't even know it. I don't want to understand why nobody has any respect for others or for me. But I will. I choose to try and understand ( Read more... )

With my feet ( Read more... )

One month has gone by and I still haven't gone to get my car inspected. I keep telling myself that I'll wait for the warmer weather, so that I can make sure that it passes--replacing, tightening, refilling, etcetera. Whenever I'm driving I realize and admitt that I might not be going because it might fail inspection. Well, who am I kidding? It is ( Read more... )

you'll know it when you feel it ( Read more... )

What is it about genes, blood line, and fathers that have such a great effect on me. The deepest parts me want me to hide, to pretend that everything is meaningless and to think of everything as just the same. The truth is, everything is the same. Our reality has nothing to bear but our own abilities to create and make meaning of things that only ( Read more... )