Comments | happybuddha: Pure Emotional Breakdown

happybuddha

Pure Emotional Breakdown

Aug 11, 2002 00:20

Today was truly the hardest and most emotionally shitty, and crappy day of my life. It was even harder tahn the day i found out Ryan was leaving, or when i found out he fucked Chris Rice. Today on a day when i first thought about hanging out with ryan, just him and i, seeing goldmember, me being able to spend time alone with him, but with everytime ( Read more... )

Comments 5

crosstheeyes August 11 2002, 00:02:38 UTC

ok now i feel really bad...

Honesty with Painful truth! tobey_twink August 11 2002, 21:35:16 UTC

I dont like you Aaron, I dont. I wanted to tell you this that night but I didnt because I have compassion but now no more. You make me so angry when you go off and start crying and then you blame me. I cant like you. Why wont you understand that. I may scurry from guy to guy but its my nature. I dont control my feelings and I cant even begin to try. but then you start crying and telling me I should give you a try. I will not because I cant. I dont control how I feel. You did nothing wrong. believe what you will even if it is incorrect. I dont like you and I wont like you like that. its how I feel and I matter ( ... )

Re: Honesty with Painful truth! happybuddha August 12 2002, 03:32:54 UTC

Ryan please, I realize i have been treating you like shit lately and i am truly sorry for that, and i promise i am getting better, but over all else, you are my best friend in this world, you mean more to me than anyone else, not in a i want to spend my life with you way, but in a you do more good fro me than anyone else, I love you, but as a fried, given i love you in other ways also but please don't cut all ties between us, who will i have to go to when people at school start harassing me, who will take me to my prom:) more than anything else i have made you out to be is that you are my best friend, please don't cut me off like this, just please give me another chance. I do get really emotional sometimes, that is just how i am, sometimes i wasn't even over you it was over not having anyone for myself, please just give me one more chance to prove that i want you asmy best friend, i have no one else like you in my life, I am closer to you than i ever have been to anyone else before, please i beg you to take me back as a friend, one ( ... )

Re: Honesty with Painful truth! tobey_twink August 12 2002, 12:17:49 UTC

I did not stutter and I didnt Lie.
You didnt believe jon when he said I used people.
Then you didnt believe me when I AGREED WITH HIM! I FUCKING AGREED WITH HIM!!!
I will not give you another chance. Its for your own good. I dont like my father butting into my life. You are butting in more than he is. I care for my father because he is my father. I am not going to love you. I dont to. And I wont because my feelings for you dont go beyond personal gain. Be angry or sad. I care notm except that you were once my friend. I dont know what truly happened but now I can barely be next to you. I base my life on honesty.

it's all okay anonymous August 14 2002, 18:40:13 UTC

I can tell you this arron from personal experience.... give up on him. If he can't be your friend because you still harbor such strong feelings for him then it's his problem... you are a great guy and you need someone who will let you know that and treat you the way that you need to be treated. Ryan is not the only one that you will ever love, trust me... I thought that my lasts boyfriend was it for me, but soon you will allow yourself to open up to new possibilities... it may take months, or even a year (as it did for me) As much as it hurts for you to be seperated from him now, it may be the best thing for you in the long run. You have to be happy with you and everything about you before ypou can truley love anyone else, and if he can't see the beautiful, loving person that you are, then screw him.