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Jul 24, 2012 17:35

Definitely over.  I am so not okay.  I took anti anxieties for the first time in forever, cried myself to sleep for two hours.  I am scared I am headed back to a very bad place this time.  I could have handled the no (not easily, but I was prepared for it).  This being jerked around is more than I can handle.

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Comments 15

kmelion July 23 2012, 15:17:09 UTC
I'm so sorry :( Were they late in getting you the test results?

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happyduck1979 July 23 2012, 15:18:25 UTC
No. It started positive. With a good number.

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kmelion July 23 2012, 15:21:12 UTC
Sweetie, my heart is breaking for you.

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happyduck1979 July 23 2012, 15:22:58 UTC
thanks. I do not have the strength to do this again.

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estherchaya July 23 2012, 17:29:11 UTC
I am so very sorry. Our youngest baby was supposed to be SO easy. The hard part was supposed to be keeping me from hyperstimulating. We were going to do single embryo transfers and it was going to work in one or two transfers. Bada Bing Bada Boom. Even my doctor was shocked when it took five IVFs to work. If it hadn't, we would have been done. It was, and remains, one of the darkest periods of my life. I'm so very sorry. I wish I could make it all better.

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happyduck1979 July 23 2012, 17:38:25 UTC
The thought the IVF did work. Turns out, even with the bleeding it was still positive. Then I started bleeding really hard, the numbers today went down. I have learned to deal with a just straight no. Being jerked around this month is what has sent me over the edge.

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proudestmom July 23 2012, 18:20:17 UTC
My heart goes out to you. HUGS!

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yeishlitikvah July 23 2012, 19:39:35 UTC
HUGS know your loved, even if right now things are hurting.

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ichur72 July 24 2012, 15:58:38 UTC
I am so, so sorry. It is awful to have your hopes brought up a little and then trampled.

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