I am not sure how I can move on. Everyday seems harder than the last. Everybody else including dh slowly goes back to their normal lives- and I am left aching for what I will likely never have. For some reason God will never let me bring home a newborn- and I am falling deeper and deeper into a hole. I have met with a psychaitrist, and am ( Read more... )

This morning, for the first time since last Monday, I got up, got dressed nicely, and even put on jewelery.  We were going to the hospital to get the pictures of Gabi and I sort of hoped that if I looked confident I might feel confident ( Read more... )

 Shabbat was hard. There were people here the whole time which helped immensely. I felt like there was a reason to get out of bed so I forced myself. The Rebetzin was here Friday for candle-lighting which was a huge breakdown moment- she was amazing about helping Channah cope with why Ima was crying ( Read more... )

 How can God be so cruel as to put me through everything he has since the summer. To make me think he has given me a 2nd chance, than to take it all so swiftly and end my life so swiftly? I am so angry at him for teasing me, making me so incredibly happy, giving me such trouble to deal with, but staying happy anyway, then making me face god ( Read more... )

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Gabriela Galit.  She leaves behind parents and an older sister who loved her very, very much ( Read more... )

 ‎"Well, the empirical evidence is all there and no one in their right mind is going to do a catscan on a 30 week pregnant woman so lets just write a script for the antibiotics and if it does not work come back and see me." (Normally I am not a fan of this sort of care, but in this case, where waiting another 2 months to try something to get rid of ( Read more... )

 How is it that you can be married to someone for almost 13 years, date for 2 before that, be friends for a year before that, and he surprises you with the one food in the world you can't stand ( Read more... )

 ‎7 years ago tonight (Hebrew calendar) I was making the decision to go ahead with a c-section and the biggest brachah I have ever known came into my life a few hours later. It has been the best 7 years of my life and no matter the chaos at the beginning I would not change even 1 minute of any of it. Happy Birthday Channah ( Read more... )

 Today (well actually tonight) is the same point in this pregnancy as we were at when I ended up in the hospital before Channah was born. Yes I am a bit of a mess. On the other hand, I know we are on the lookout for any indication that something might be off and are way more on top of things this time round. I also know that we are doing ( Read more... )

 So for as long as we can remember my daughter has had a bump on the end of her collar bone. It never used to bother her, so we never really thought anything of it. As she is getting older it is getting more pronounced and she is getting a little self conscious about it- not that it really shows, but she says it is itchy and sometimes hurts ( Read more... )