Then i realise perhaps that was what had happened to me. I bottled it all up 3yrs ago, didnt cry much during the day he left or during the wake. And then in that next 3 yrs, i cried hard so many nights. Short ones but numerous times. The emotions came delayed. And i wonder how long is this going to last, to eventually get all those feelings and ( Read more... )

i like reading back at my old posts - it puts me back on track and allow me to self praise myself for such intelligent thought process that i didn't think i would have hahahaha.

As fast as the 365 days of 2014 went, 2015 starts again.

i kind of had some reflection time with myself for the last few days of 2014 and decided on some issues and items:

1. 2014 was kinda waste of my life (cept for the holiday trips) i mean i dont even rmb any part of it when i think back. any special moments or any interesting things or any funny ( Read more... )

for the first time,

i actually really feel that i have hit the wall. the crisis of confused directions in life. i start to doubt every decision i have made and making and i'm not as certain as i used to be anymore.

and for the first time,

i actually feel scared and lost about it.

hmm.........what should i do next.

Sitting in the train looking at the crowd as they one by one walked pass me. It was theraputic. And when i had a seat to sit, i start looking into those opposite of me and observing what they are doing. I wonder what they are thinking now, what are they going through now, and if they had a bad day at work. It was all either sleepy or frowning ( Read more... )

still lost ( Read more... )

“When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and ( Read more... )

its always to this channel when i have deep thoughts ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

omg i typed the whole chunk and all gone cause of some stupid arrows tskkkkkkkkkk. ok *braced myself* and gonna type all again! this is definitely testing my patience ( Read more... )