I am having major withdrawals from the life i love back home on the east coast. I miss sitting in the apartment and eating dinner with my family. I miss Wheaton and hanging out in Neils's room and smoking cigarettes with Lis. I am having a harder time this year leaving my life behind and right now 3 months seems like a really long time.

I spent the morning digging around in the garden getting it all ready to seed and plant. Feeling the earth leaving me envigorated and happy. I am caked in dirt and loving it. The remnants of the things I was clinging to are disappearing and I'm ready to take on new beginnings. I had a dream about Javier last nite and we were in love again and I ( Read more... )

Today was the 1st real day of work. It was hard hard hard! We leveled, lifted, racheted, and bolted all day long. But now I am nice and clean and warm. Its lots of good food, good company, and good laughs. We got two baby puppies and some kittens in today and they are the cutest things ever. My bones are tired and I am looking forward to a good ( Read more... )

I arrived in the golden state of california yesterday and took the bus to Petaluma after smoking my final cigarettes and talking to some fellas headed to National Guard Training. I let the hills welcome me home and made it to camp at around 8:30 after picking up G-Banger and running some errands. It felt so good to be back and sleep outside under ( Read more... )

im freaking out. i had a "meeting" with my parents last nite about money for college and basically there is none left. the trust ran out and we are looking at $90,000 that we have to scrounge up for me to go to Wheaton for the next 2 years (not including the 90,000 it will take to send Alex to Franklin as well). I almost broke into tears looking ( Read more... )

ive been at home for a few days now. its been spent going through my life that is packed away in boxes, rolling cigarettes, drinking tea, catching up with various people, sitting on my back stoop watching the wind blow while thinking of all the things that granby means to me, and getting myself ready to leave again. i have been struggling with big ( Read more... )

jack kerouac makes me want to up and go. sling a pack on my back and live life the real way. hitchhiking and meeting and learning and reading the good books and writing the real words. oh its just so good.

adam and i went and saw sigur ros last nite in boston. it was pouring and you could hear the rain hitting the roof of the pavillion. they dragged a sheet across the stage so you could only see the silhouettes. i started to cry during one of the songs just because it was so beautiful and i finally let myself feel all the things i have supressed for ( Read more... )

I AM DONE! I just took my last exam and am officially a junior in college. what a mind trip. brian and i said goodbye last nite over one last ciggarette since both him and i are quitting (we'll see how that goes). it went pretty smoothly. less grandiose than i had hoped for, but thats a good thing. im not too sure what to do with myself when i ( Read more... )

sitting outside on the bench smoking a cigarette and drinking a coffee was the best idea i have had all day.

i am tired of killing time. let me go home.