rainy days get me blue. endings are hard for me and watching people walk away is even harder. everyone is leaving me and that is the thing that i hate most in the world, being left behind. i always seem to be the last to leave. so much has happened this year and im not really ready for it to be over. i have gone through so much personally and ( Read more... )

ive been freaking out all fucking day. i have all this shit hanging over my head and i cant handle it. i hate the stress of finals because so much rests on them. i feel like i have been doing well this semester and i dont want to fuck it up by not doing well on finals. we got our take home exam for art history and its super hard and that class was ( Read more... )

im getting ready to leave my life behind. in a week and a half all the people that have kept me alive this semester will be going their separate ways for a while. its weird to me that so much of my life is here on the east coast yet i choose to up and leave it for 3 months. granted, i love the place i am going to be, its just weird to think that ( Read more... )

if every day could come as close to perfection as this one I would be perpetually happy. Papa and Hanna drove me back to school this morning although both my performances were cancelled which led to an obligation-free day. I ate breakfast with Lis and Josh. We mosied around for a while enjoying the day and smoking American Spirits. I read Letters ( Read more... )

its been nice being home. my parents are at some gala with the mayor tonite so im making dinner for the kiddies and were going to watch movies and maybe ill see lindsey later. last nite i got to spend time with just my parents. my mom and i talked about my brother. i got mad because my grandfather has been taking money out of my moms trust and ( Read more... )

today has been a good bordering on great day. its nice outside, a little chilly. but the sun warms you right up. one month from today i am getting on a plane to go back to my love place and my heart beats faster just thinking about it. i am so ready for three months of kids, earthy crunchiness, and good company. my 15 page paper was pushed back ( Read more... )

I heard the sound of your bike ( Read more... )

it was a good weekend of music, lauging, smoking weed, talking, drinking beers, and wandering. neils' friends were down from new hampshire so i spent a lot of time with them and lis this weekend. it feels good to be surrounded with people so much like yourself. it makes everything a little less lonely knowing that there are people out there whose ( Read more... )

i watched y tu mama tambien again last night. it made me miss speaking spanish and the way it would roll of my tongue. i remember i came to the point where i would think and dream in spanish. it was so beautiful and i can feel it slipping away.

ive been spending a lot of time in the woods this weekend. today i walked and listened to the trees begging the sky for its secrets. i passed the beach and sat for a while in the sun and wind while the frogs sang melancholy choruses. there were a bunch of kids sitting around the fire circle on my way back and it reminded me of high school when we ( Read more... )