-
Epiphanies (that's always been one of my favorite words)
Maybe that's part of the problem (forgive the non-sequitur, I'm going with the stream). I love learning. I adore it. I love reading and sitting through lectures and studying and papers. Not so keen on tests, but that's not exactly unheard of. But I love having classes and learning new things and doing new things and getting new insights into old ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
See, I've spent the better part of the last almost 2 years pushing everyone away from me. Family and friends, some of which resisted this, many of which didn't. Friends have stopped trying to contact me, which is both what I wanted and what now leaves me feeling even more worthless and alone. The friend (yes, singular, because that's what I've been ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I hate leaving the house. I really do. I hate sitting here for hours on end and doing nothing but feeding my ADD and "watching" television. (Most of the time, when the tv is on, it's mostly background noise; I can barely concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes, which is really quite frustrating ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
At last, I figured out why I can't write. I've been trying to journal more here, just straight journaling, none of the fannish crap and whatnot. I just need to get shit out since I really don't have a good place to do that right now. Talking to my parents makes me feel guilty(ier, technically), I have only one friend I feel I can talk to and she's ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Christmas sucked. Big time. I had hope that New Years would be better. Goes to show what hope does for you. Absolutely fucking nothing. I'm going to be at home, with my parents. Unless they go somewhere, which I really hope they do. I just want to be alone, crying, trying to ignore the passing of yet another fucked up year. We were supposed ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
So, currently, I'm pretty high, and watching the musical Hairspray and arguing that the overall theme from the original movie wasn't lost with myself. This is the first moment in the last couple of days I haven't been on the verge of tears. And right now I couldn't tell you why I was so upset, but I was, and it will return soon enough ( Read more... ) -
Hehe
Love this :) -
didya know....
that 15 years ago, I was a letterman? I lettered all 4 yrs in track & field, shotput. I was a senior ibn highschool. I was about 3 yrs from being a no longer virgin. i still lived in felton . i still hadnt smioked weed. i trully believe i graduated because my econ teacher took pity and passed me ( Read more... ) -
I did it
I quit. I am, as of last night, unemployed, and right now, I'm not freaked out. I feel almost perfectly calm. I've already planned a road trip, I'm going to clean, and then start looking for a job. This may result in me having to move back to the Lake, but I'm actually okay with that. Weird, huh ( Read more... ) -
YIPPEE YIPPEE
So, yeah, things have been rather bad for me lately. My depression slammed back with a vengence. But, thanks to a wonderful, beautiful friend and a family that I'm beyond lucky to have, I'm getting betterm. Upped my meds, got something to help me sleep, gave in and went back to therapy, and while I'm far from totally back, I'm closer than I was ( Read more... )