(Untitled)

[hari_kari]

Strange Condition
by Harikari

AN: Much thanks to my flist (and to levitatethis, in particular) for reading this chapter before I thought it fit for comms and giving me some very helpful crit/suggestions. 
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Part Six

Comments

[sparrow2000]

Hey there, welcome to tamingthemuse. It's a great comm, so I hope you have fun here.

I only got about half way through S1 of Heroes, but reading this makes me wish I'd persevered. You've set up an incredibly vivid scene here - Mohinder's fear and isolation and growing self awareness, and Sylar's casual dominance and control are very well portrayed. I'm definitely intrigued and will try to get time to read the previous chapters so I can catch up on how the present situation came about.

Really nicely done.

[hari_kari]

Thanks so much for the welcome! It looks like a great comm with some very talented/nice people, so I'm sure I'll have fun. :) Thank you for reading this chap, and for your kind words about my writing!

[widestance75]

I liked this chapter. I liked how it was calm and quiet, esp if you say the next chapters are more intense in action. It's probably a good break in the action. Love the cliffhanger-type ending just setting up what is to come. Nice job!

[hari_kari]

Thank you! ^_^

[monnasakura]

Aha! It snows... Oh where, oh where will this plot take us, oh where, oh where will it go...

Heheh. I am of the opinion that you have completely nailed the Mohinder/Sylar characters and relationship and I do not say this lightly. You have written the as people, which is one of the things that I like so much about Heroes to begin with. So kudos for that.

As this chapter ends, I can just feel the springboard of plot winding tighter, almost ready to leap. Thus far the mood has been relatively calm, plot-like events notwithstanding. From here on out, I see the plot spiraling faster and faster.

By the way, I love your highly appropriate use of italicization for use of emphasizing sudden sounds and thoughts and motion. It really guides our reactions where they need to go to get the most out of the story.

EXCELLENT JOB.

(By the way, I noticed at least one typo, but I forget where it was. It was a misspelling. Just FYI.)

[hari_kari]

Oh, wow. Thank you so much for your kind words -- I'm very happy you think I've gotten the Mohinder/Sylar characters and relationship right so far, and am glad you're feeling the tension in the plot (it is definitely about to 'leap', so I'm ecstatic that it feels that way). Again, I deeply appreciate the kind words (and the head's up on the typos/misspelling)! ^_^

[scarletfbl]

Gah! Can this be it?! I hope there's more soon.

[hari_kari]

Thanks for all the nice comments! I really appreciate them. I'm going to try and get the next part out soon. It's taking me longer than I thought it would, but I'm almost finished with it. Thanks again! ^_^