Kirsten: "Ugh, I'm tired. I stayed up too late reading."
me: "Nerd!"
Kirsten: "Shut up."
me: "That's okay; I usually stay up too late writing."
Kirsten: "Nerd!"
me: "Fair enough."

It's usually worth it, though.

me: (pointing under table) "That box has been there since before I started working here. And it hasn't moved. I have no idea what it is."
Brian: "It's got a healthy layer of dust on top!"
me: "That's like Raiders of the Lost Ark stuff there ( Read more... )

Laura: "I remember these kind of tapes."
me: "Hm?"
Laura: "You know, where you could record like three movies onto them?"
me: "No, those were VHS tapes."
Laura: "What are these?"
me: "They're Umatic. It's what TV stations used in the 80s. They're really big and clunky." (opens box) "See ( Read more... )

Lloyd: "How's it going?"
me: (sigh) "I'm okay. I've got this grant application to work on today."
Lloyd: "Oh, man."
me: "It's mostly done; I just have to revise it. But I don't want to."
Lloyd: "That's what a good, stiff drink is for."

Probably not a good idea, as I might just change the entire application to "Give me more money, you bastards."

me: (hands Laura two flash drives)
Laura: "Thanks! You're the best."
me: "I am."
Laura: "We should throw parties in your honor."
me: "Yes."
Laura: "We should sacrifice goats and everything."

Even better.

girl in grocery store to friend: "I don't use my armpits. For anything. I use my arms. I don't need armpits."

Okay.

Kirsten: "I gave up trying to be cool when I was, like..."
me: "12?"
Kirsten: "...well, never, really. I just couldn't make it work."
me: "Well, once you're past 30, there's not much point."
Kirsten: "I don't have to try to be cool. I just am."me: "You just keep telling yourself that, dear ( Read more... )

Brian: "Yeah, they're digitizing the whole thing. It's like the entire Vatican library ( Read more... )

Gypsye: "Oh, and I got a great recommendation for a local coffee shop. They have doughnuts. Hand-forged doughnuts."
me: "That sounds like something out of King Arthur."
Gypsye: (making hammering motion) "CLANG!"
me: (laugh) "Or The Hobbit."Gypsye: "So do you want to get doughnuts for dinner ( Read more... )

Susan: (knocking on the screen door to the camper) "Knock, knock!"
me: "Who's there?"
Susan: "Someone who needs to use the restroom."
me: "Someone Who Needs to Use the Restroom Who?"
Susan: "Psssssssssss..."

I wouldn't have expected my oldest sister to score such a juvenile joke, but there you go.