From a little over twenty years ago, this was one of my favorite routines in high school. Fartsocks, did I just say twenty years?

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me: "Does anyone actually live in those houses?"
Nicci: "Yeah! Millions of people live there."
me: (sideways glance) "Really?"
Nicci: "Yes. Literally millions of people live there."
me: "You're lying... hey!Nicci: (smacking me in the head while I'm driving) "I'm literally punching you in the head ( Read more... )

Nicci: (on phone) "I'm hoping they can reschedule. But apparently they think something's more important than my vagina ( Read more... )

So this is my latest favorite thing ever:

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Ann: "Do you know two Emory fellows are coming down for a tour at 3:00?"
me: "No, but if you hum it, I'll join in on the second chorus!"
Ann: (big smile)
me: "I haven't gotten to use that one in years."

Thanks, Danger Mouse.

Brian: "Rubber balls and liquor!"
me: "I hardly know 'er...?"

I'll just let that one stand on its own.

Nick: "How's life been treating you, John Boy?"
John: "Pretty well. My roommates and I brewed beer for the first time this weekend."
Nick: "First time? Really?"
John: "Yeah!"
Nick: "You've never had root beer before?"
John: "What?"
Nick: "You said you had root beer."
John: "No. We brewed beer ( Read more... )

construction worker #1: (laughing) "Man, that just about kills me."
construction worker #2: "Hell, I already got killed once. Didn't care for it."

That's not something I'd expect to hear someone say outside of some of my favorite sci-fi shows.

Kirsten: "I'm going to go eat lunch at my desk ( Read more... )

Lisa: "I can't find any place to shoot a shotgun, at least, not one that's not an hour out of town."
me: "Well, I wouldn't mind a mini road trip if you wouldn't."
Lisa: "No. And that may be what we have to do. All the places I've talked to are like, 'Sure, you can use a shotgun as long as you shoot slugs.' But I'm like, 'But I don't want to ( Read more... )