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Forgotten attempts at blogging.
For my own memory, my feelings about ending my caregiving for Buttercup this past summer.
MAY 23, 2023
My intentions were good to start using my blog as a record of my journey as caregiver to my husband, diagnosed as early onset Alzheimer's. However Life has other plans for me. I am caregiver to Tom as well as continuing part-time care giving for ( Read more... ) -
DELIVER ME!
Deliver Me ( Read more... ) -
Home Sweet Home
I've had the weekend off. I have spent it mostly catching up on housework, laundry, business matters, setting up things for Tom for the week while I'm at work and catching up on sleep. The weekends off are never long enough! Yesterday I spent a great deal of the day sleeping. It felt like a delicious guilty luxury!
I've missed having time to just ( Read more... ) -
WE DO WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
We do what we must do to survive.
Sometimes I feel as if I am vanishing away to some transparent hologram of who I was. A puff of smoke, fading, easily blown away by the storms of life that come and go.
Life as a caregiver to a spouse with Alzheimer's 24/7/365 is draining. My life is not my own. I sometimes feel like all I do is work and take care ( Read more... ) -
Happy Birthday Hugh Knox
Happy Birthday Hugh on whatever plane you now exist. You are gone from earth but not forgotten. I hope you are at peace, healed and happy my friend! -
JOY COMES TEARS FALL
I can feel some of my hope and joy starting to return. The return of the sun's warmth, the clearing of pewter clouded skies, the melting of the 50+ inches of snow that fell this winter are melting the ice that encased my heart, letting it beat and feel alive again. There have been so many storms, my overwhelm swirling in the cold falling snow. My ( Read more... ) -
I'm in search of my four leaf cloverl
Four-Leaf Clover
BY ELLA HIGGINSONI know a place where the sun is like gold,
And the cherry blooms burst with snow,
And down underneath is the loveliest nook,
Where the four-leaf clovers grow.
One leaf is for hope, and one is for faith,
And one is for love, you know,
And God put another in for luck-
If you search, you will find where they grow.
But you ( Read more... ) -
FOCUS ON THE BLESSING NOT THE CURSE
Among those who are suffering along with their loved ones diagnosed with Dementia, there is a sentiment expressed that some may find it helpful, while others resent it. It is this:
“FOCUS ON THE BLESSING, NOT ON THE CURSE.”
How does one focus on the blessing and not the curse?
I will give thanks and praise to the God who created us and brought us ( Read more... ) -
THE LONG GOODBYE
For those who love someone with Alzheimer's or other forms of Dementia, it's often referred to as THE LONG GOODBYE It can be hard to hang onto hope in the face of so much uncertainty and the sense of loss and grief that accompanies the diagnosis.
One thing that is helping me face all the uncertainty of the long goodbye is my faith. Thankfully Tom's ( Read more... ) -
Ugh! “Sundowning” Is a Real Thing
Sundowning is a real thing. After the sun goes down Tom’s confusion increases. His mood swings after dark are also problematic. I need to try to remember not to personalize his shifts in mood. When he drinks it’s much worse. He gets so angry if I suggest that perhaps he curtail the alcohol for the day. But with God’s help I can cling to hope.