i have no right to be upset but i am. i have no right to be jealous but i am. maybe if i had opened my mouth sooner i would have been happier, but fearing the reaction one might have, i stayed quiet. i missed my shot. why do i always do this?

It's no surprise that everything i ever really wanted, never works out anyway.

was absolutely amazing. it got so crowded so quick, and although we had a game of completely a voiding contact in the car i ended up pressed up agaist nick so tight that his hips left bruises on my lower back. haha. dexter got in the pit and made amazing faces. the entire zu krew sang and danced to the spidersong. holly and i look amazingly hot. ( Read more... )

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU ( Read more... )

i don't even feel like me anymore

i've cut him off. stopped talking to him. this is worth my time. i don't wanna be friends with someone who doesn't wanna be friends with me. fuck you.

work work work work, drink, "break", bbq, west chester, work work work, mandy, work, nick, work work, tom , hating my life, dexter ( Read more... )

you know what sucks? when your kidney decides it's done working. it hurts. and i hate the medicine they give me to make it better. it makes me tired, and i get fevers and puke and generally just feel terrible.  my back hurts. it hurts to even have anyone touch it. i dont get why this happened. i was fine and then a month ago i get a little back ( Read more... )

you don't wanna talk anymore? fine you don't wanna be friends anymore? i can deal with that. BUT DON'T LIE TO ME AND SAY WE'LL TALK WHEN YOU NEVER CALL. you can call everyone else. but not me. i knew this would happen. this is why i don't get attached to people, it hurts too much when you lose them.

everyone is telling just do it. let him go. and everytime i try i look at those eyes and i cant. and that pang in my chest kills me. and all of this leaves me with the emptiest feeling. i cant have what i cant and i dont want what i have. how is this fair? i never wanted to hurt you, and yes we're still together, but God sometimes i feel so trapped ( Read more... )