001" Carpet [text]

[haveuseenmyass]

This is what happens when the Corruption consumes you? No wonder Ahriman had so many people on his side! Ormazd needs to hook up his followers with a cushy vacation package like this when it comes their time to die. Then maybe more people would buy into his eternal light and devotion gig

Comments

[standardpackage]

What 're ya' doin', writin' a fuckin' novel?

An' yer comm can't transmit outside the network on th' boat. Don't count on speakin' ta' yer little friend anytime soon.

[haveuseenmyass]

Hey, if I could make an honest coin or a few dishonest ones off of it, I would write it all down. But why write that much about life when you could be out living it?

That part above being an exception. I was surprised, what can I say. When mortally wounded by the taint of Corruption, a guy doesn't exactly expect to wake up in a lavishly furnished room.

Wait a second.

Little friend? Oh-kay. I'm pretty sure that part about Elika was not supposed to be accessible to just anyone. How'd you read it?

[standardpackage]

They'd probably be dishonest 'cause yer life's story isn't interestin' ta' me.

[Jinx has the reading comprehension of a third grader so, yah. Pretty much all over his head.]

Gotta agree that the rooms are pretty damn good, Buddy.

All I'm gonna say is that if ya' don't want fellas like me ta' look at any a yer shit, either get a stronger lock er' don't publish it at all.

[haveuseenmyass]

These rooms sure beat a sandy mattress on a cold night. I practically bounced off of the bed when I jumped on it!

I'm more familiar with breaking a lock instead of putting one on things. I guess a life of tomb raiding isn't serving a purpose here. One question though: How'd you manage to break it so easily?

[text]

[seagullmun]

Good to hear that someone else likes it around here. Sometimes these other people get their panties all balled up. I never understood that saying, by the way. It just doesn't sound all that awful. I wouldn't know, I don't wear them. Do you?

[text]

[haveuseenmyass]

This room has far better things going for it than the desert does. I don't suppose there's a reason why other people don't like it so much?

Ah, let's not go there. A man's gotta wear what he's got to wear, but I'm not into anything that twists unnecessarily.

[text]

[seagullmun]

Sounds sensible. I'm Lenny! The coolest mother-fucker you'll ever meet, see?

[That didn't really... fit you, Lenny.]

Heh... forget that. I'm just a nice normal dude! How about you?

[text]

[haveuseenmyass]

[Hello diction he does not recognise. Seems standard and harmless.]

Nice to know you, Lenny.

Me? I'm just a guy with his donkey. Except my donkey's currently missing. Hey, I don't suppose you've seen her wandering around? Responds to the name 'Farrah' and laden with more gold than you can imagine one donkey could carry?

[text] PARKOUR SHOWDOWN

[ceilingezio]

It'll be more than just a few hours, amico, if everyone here is to be believed.

[text] I AM CALLING YOU OUT

[haveuseenmyass]

That's just great. I hate looking a gift donkey in the mouth, but anything longer than a few hours isn't going to work for me. Got an apocalypse to stop any hour now.

[text] W-WOULD YOU TELL HIM I AM CALLING HIM OUT???

[ceilingezio]

An apocalisse? You don't say.

[translation: you are crazy, Prince.]

[text] TELL HIM I DON'T HAVE A GUN; DON'T THAT GO AGAINST YOUR CODE?

[haveuseenmyass]

Yup, exactly that. Dark god unleashed, end of civilisation as we know it. The whole standard apocalyptic equation, let loose by one overprotective daddy. Not the kind of thing that can really wait for long.